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[Solifuge]

This:


Also, just learned about "John Dies at the End", and the author's blog and comments were awesome. Methinks I'm going to have to get this book.

Sometimes a little bit of blood leaks from the binding of my Permuted Press copy of JDATE. Is this going to be taken care of in the St. Martin’s release?

I don’t know what you guys are complaining about- my copy of the book cooks me breakfast and tells me when there’s something caught in my teeth.

I love reading this book, but I just wish it’d quit shrieking at me every time I pick it up.
I mean, it’s like a waking nightmare.

EDIT: Okay the book wasn’t bleeding, I just blacked out and lost some time after reading it for a while. My Mom said the blood was on it after I wandered back home, but I’m not sure whose it is.

[Vector]

My mother apparently agrees that I should learn how to pick locks.

[MaximumZero]

Not hard, depending on type of lock. For a doorknob, use a flattened bobby pin, and a stick pin with the end slightly bent.

[Vector]

Picked a Chinese lock with a screwdriver today because it wasn't giving me back my music CDs--it was just an easy spring/pressure doohickey, though   I plan to read up a bit on locks before I try anything bigger, so that I'll have some idea of the theory I should be thinking about.

I actually used to spend my recesses in elementary school trying to pick the classroom door with a paperclip.  Never worked, but it was a good use of 20 minutes when they wouldn't let me make weaponry anymore.

[Duke 2.0]

 After dealing with replacing locks in this house that were rather crazily installed so they could never be removed again ever, I've learned how to just break the fame so the bolts don't have anywhere to latch onto. Not terribly elegant or silent, but a less than five minute job with the right tools and a wooden frame.

[Medicine Man]

And now I know it's true. Anyone with dwarf in their name is stupid.

YOU DOUBLE PENIS!

[MaximumZero]

Recess for me was all about getting/giving as many bloody noses as possible, whilst trying not to get caught. "We're playing football, oops, I hit you with my elbow!"

I was a jerk as a kid.

[Tack]

Mmm. I have a cousin who used to be a street-kid, and he taught me a lot of tiny useful things. Including pin-locks, cars, Car-locks, and really complicated tumblers. Hopefully I'll never need to use those things, but, it's still cool to learn.

[MaximumZero]

Same boat, except I used to use mine. I was a jerk as a teenager.

[Blargityblarg]

I think you're leading up to something, MZ.

[Vector]

>_>

I spent most of kindergarten policing other kids, tying shoelaces, tutoring in math and reading, writing really bad love letters, and trying to understand the composition of the play structure.  Then they told me to stop "helping," so I sat at the boys' table for the rest of elementary school, played handball unsuccessfully, and spent more time than I should have making weapons out of whatever materials I could find.  When my archery attempts were halted, I moved onto lockpicking; after that, pottery, and then cartography.  I seem to remember spending all of 4th grade terrorizing a couple of boys who had annoyed me.

In my early teens, I was mostly occupied with trying not to fail math and keeping people from beating me up/hitting on me.  My life got more boring when it was supposed to become more complicated =/

[MaximumZero]

I think you're leading up to something, MZ.

Oh, no. I'm not a jerk anymore. Getting tangled up with the wrong people and subsequently shot at several times is enough to put any green 14 year old back on the straight and narrow. Maybe not any 14 year old, but me, anyway.

[Duke 2.0]

 My elementary school days belong in the sad thread, and I can't really think of anything positive to say about them other than I never got stabbed I guess. I do remember spending more and more time out of the house and off in parks somewhere, so I have a good sense of direction now.

[Tack]

I have never been stabbed in my life... By another person.
There was an accident with a filleting knife-

Anyway, I've got a barely-visible scar across both forearms from a slash, but somehow I think getting stabbed could quite be the most painful experience I am not resigned to running across. Like a broken bone.

[Cthulhu]

I've never been stabbed, but I have had objects embedded in me.  When I was younger our dog knocked over a box of toothpicks.  I didn't notice and was running, I got half a toothpick stuck all the way in between my toes, so deep there wasn't anything to grab to pull it out. 

How'd we get it out?  About ten minutes of pain, that's how.  I also once stepped on an open stapler with my bare foot.  Thankfully the staple didn't close.  Still hurt to pull it out though.