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[dragnar]

Still learning Java, wrote some basic programs to do various nonsense, getting a better hang of it than I thought I was.  I also made my first infinite loop, while (x == true) { x = true }.  I thought netbeans would catch it but it froze up. :c

Making progress makes me happy.

Congratulations! You have learned one of the most important parts of computing: How to horribly break things.

[JoshuaFH]

I don't want to be Sollux....

But everyone knows that once you become good enough at coding, you get eye-lazers.

[Aqizzar]

Still learning Java, wrote some basic programs to do various nonsense

Everybody hit the deck.  By the way, where are you learning Java from?  I was a wiz at non-graphical Java in highschool, but the core vernacular changed since then, and I've never found an adequate tutorial or conversion dictionary since then.

[Vector]

Congratulations, Aqizzar!

It's the end of Neon Genesis Evangelion all over again...

Excellent work. Now go implant that into Vector's head.

I don't hate myself for what I did as a child, and I certainly don't feel that I've wasted my time.

That said, I suppose I should say that my rant in the sad thread has led me to realize what I personally have been swimming around.  I've been waiting for a long, long time for a hero to defend the weak, embrace his fellow man, and forgive those who wrong him.  It wasn't so much because I needed to be protected, but because I wanted to know that someone like that existed.  I wanted to know that there was someone else out there who really, truly cared--and in the places where he was weak or hypocritical, he would recognize it and take his guilt and shame without complaint.  I was looking for someone who saw unflinchingly.... who could see the true state of things or easily say "no, I don't know."  I guess you could say that I was looking for an honest man.

As for why I wanted this individual to exist... well, that was because I am doing what I can to become this person, and it's always easier if you know someone has walked before you.  Someone real and genuinely good, who I could trail and then fight to surpass (though in reality, perhaps that's what happened).  A lot of my pain seems to stem from feeling deprived of that cynosure, that guiding light, that embodiment of an ideal.  I keep wanting to find some evidence that Rosewood is a truly honorable man.  I don't feel good about giving up on him, just as I don't feel good about giving up on anyone else.  It isn't that he's stolen my heart, and it isn't that I'm hoping he'll come back to me or something--no, what I was hoping for was somebody to believe in, rather than yet another person to hope for.  I don't want to have to keep faith and patience for this guy.  I want him to have done whatever he was going to do with me and turn around to do the right thing in other arenas, but there's no evidence for it.  If it were just me, that would be far easier to swallow.  I wasn't a very good girlfriend, in a lot of ways, and I can see why he would treat me the way he did.  But no, it's everyone.

I wish I could blame my own moral lapses for what happened to me, but it seems that I can't anymore.  All I can say is that I wasn't strong enough, not convicted enough.  I was tempted to stray from what I believe in by one of the "devils" in my little story, and suffered greatly for it.

Well, as they say, "healer, heal thyself."  I guess my answer to all this must be "Vector, surpass yourself."


Thank you, everyone, for taking care of me so well.  I appreciate your support.

[Cthulhu]

Still learning Java, wrote some basic programs to do various nonsense

Everybody hit the deck.  By the way, where are you learning Java from?  I was a wiz at non-graphical Java in highschool, but the core vernacular changed since then, and I've never found an adequate tutorial or conversion dictionary since then.

Here.

[Aqizzar]

I wanted to know that there was someone else out there who really, truly cared--and in the places where he was weak or hypocritical, he would recognize it and take his guilt and shame without complaint.  I was looking for someone who saw unflinchingly.... who could see the true state of things or easily say "no, I don't know."  I guess you could say that I was looking for an honest man.

You found him right here, give or take a few doses of Armok.  Pretty scary reality, isn't it?

I'm making a mockery of your conflicts, but I can honestly say that waiting and hoping for a perfect person is a likely road to disaster.  Not because you won't find the guy, but because, as you intimated, you'll try to turn someone else into him, both in person (which will probably fail) but more importantly, in your mind.

[Vector]

I'm making a mockery of your conflicts, but I can honestly say that waiting and hoping for a perfect person is a likely road to disaster.  Not because you won't find the guy, but because, as you intimated, you'll try to turn someone else into him, both in person (which will probably fail) but more importantly, in your mind.

Of course.  I think that what I've been trying to convince myself of, in reality, is that whatever I've been looking for on the outside is precisely what I need to find in myself.  It's hard to complete someone from the outside.

[Itnetlolor]

Well, I had a fun swim today. Jumped into the water, nice, clean, clear, a paradise really. I even swam out to a distant sand bar and took my time to return and caught a few waves before returning home. That in itself made me happy.

However, I have to mention that entire scenario because that entire time I was swimming, I was being watched by a shark, and it took it's time to plan a strike against me when I would be least aware of it. Now despite a couple minor injuries before swimming (over the course of the week) and accidentally bruising my ankle before heading up (kicked it while swimming; slowed me down a good bit, and gave me an 'injured' swim pattern), I fortunately had a few spotters/witnesses nearby which spotted the shark just I was about 30 feet away from it.

I saw the thing up close in the shore while in water about waist-deep. Once I saw that thing, I kept calm (surprisingly) and spotted everything I needed to know about the shark before evading it (especially which way it was facing, and it's intent). Measuring it from tail to dorsal, I estimated it to be about 5-6 feet in length with possibly a jawline about the size of my head, and it was swirling around a bit (hard to judge what it was up to; probably already feasting on a fish or chasing a school). My guess was that it was either scared of me having no fear while riding a wave unwaveringly in it's direction (and pretty quickly while at it; I would've been able take it on if my survival instincts didn't kick in), or like I mentioned, it was busy hunting and was only aware of my presence charging headlong in it's direction. Also taking a guess from the color of the shark and form of the waves I saw, it was a hammerhead shark (common sight here).

Furthermore, I'm just laughing it off. I had my fill of adventure for the week. Not gonna stop me from possibly jumping in later today or tomorrow. The people that warned me were a little shaken, but also surprised at how calm I was the entire evasion and heading back. I even took my time heading back onto dry land. I mean, the water was clear after all. Stingrays worry more than sharks. Hell, one time I swam with sharks and wasn't even aware of it. I was told when I returned that the ocean was infested with sharks, and I was even out for a half-hour the whole time, in rather murky water while at it.

EDIT:
Looking at the clock, I think I was out for about an half-hour to an hour. I'm surprised the shark didn't go after me while I was out deep.

EDIT EDIT:
Typo

[Aqizzar]

I'm making a mockery of your conflicts, but I can honestly say that waiting and hoping for a perfect person is a likely road to disaster.  Not because you won't find the guy, but because, as you intimated, you'll try to turn someone else into him, both in person (which will probably fail) but more importantly, in your mind.

Of course.  I think that what I've been trying to convince myself of, in reality, is that whatever I've been looking for on the outside is precisely what I need to find in myself.  It's hard to complete someone from the outside.

That's not what that post said a while ago.  I was going to comment about completely guessing wrong, but I thought better of it.  I hope I helped somehow, and good luck.  We've all got a great self-improvement club going.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

However, I have to mention that entire scenario because that entire time I was swimming, I was being watched by a shark, and it took it's time to plan a strike against me when I would be least aware of it. Now despite a couple minor injuries before swimming (over the course of the week) and accidentally bruising my ankle before heading up (kicked it while swimming; slowed me down a good bit, and gave me an 'injured' swim pattern), I fortunately had a few spotters/witnesses nearby which spotted the shark just I was about 30 feet away from it.

I saw the thing up close in the shore while in water about waist-deep. Once I saw that thing, I kept calm (surprisingly) and spotted everything I needed to know about the shark before evading it (especially which way it was facing, and it's intent). Measuring it from tail to dorsal, I estimated it to be about 5-6 feet in length with possibly a jawline about the size of my head, and it was swirling around a bit (hard to judge what it was up to; probably already feasting on a fish or chasing a school). My guess was that it was either scared of me having no fear while riding a wave unwaveringly in it's direction (and pretty quickly while at it; I would've been able take it on if my survival instincts didn't kick in), or like I mentioned, it was busy hunting and was only aware of my presence charging headlong in it's direction. Also taking a guess from the color of the shark and form of the waves I saw, it was a hammerhead shark (common sight here).

EDIT:
Looking at the clock, I think I was out for about an half-hour to an hour. I'm surprised the shark didn't go after me while I was out deep.

That's because sharks know how to wait. They know you expect them to attack you in the ocean, which is why one of them is clinging to the bottom of your chair at this very moment instead, razor-sharp teeth inching ever closer to your calf muscle with every passing second...

[Cthulhu]

Also, not to be a pedant or anything, but "brackish" means salty.  I assume you meant to say "murky?"

[JoshuaFH]

Also, not to be a pedant or anything, but "brackish" means salty.  I assume you meant to say "murky?"

I don't believe this for a second, I think you FULLY INTENDED to be a pedant.

I've seen past your clever ruse.

[Cthulhu]

Damn, you got me.

[Huesoo]

I went to a party, it was nice.

[Cthulhu]

Still learning Java, wrote some basic programs to do various nonsense

Everybody hit the deck.  By the way, where are you learning Java from?  I was a wiz at non-graphical Java in highschool, but the core vernacular changed since then, and I've never found an adequate tutorial or conversion dictionary since then.

I'm kind of worried though, that disintegrate if I successfully learn Java (Which it seems I probably will) and program the game idea I have (Which will remain a secret).  I mean, what am I if not a flake?  If I cease to be a flake, will I cease to be?