Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Schilcote]

YAAAAYY WINDOWS! AND ENVIRONMENTAL CONTROL! AND SPELLCHECK!

[Dakk]

Yes it is, it is the bootyshaking anti-spiral king.

[Gunner-Chan]

... I smooshed Tewi.

Yeah. Eat it bitch.

[ToonyMan]

Spoiler: PARKER, BRING ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN (click to show/hide)

You: PARKER! GET IN MY OFFICE!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: ok
Stranger: sorry boss
Stranger: i did that again
Stranger: D:
Stranger: what you wanna boss?
You: I NEED PICTURES
You: PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN
Stranger: google it


You: PARKER! GET IN MY OFFICE!
Stranger: *jumps*
You: WHERES MY PICTURES
Stranger: I SOLD EM MAN
You: WHAT
You: I NEED THOSE PICTURES OF THAT WEBBED FIEND
Stranger: Some really hot chick just jumped me and was like
Stranger: I pay you good sexy..
Stranger: Man IM SORRY


You: PARKER, GET IN MY OFFICE
Stranger: hi
Stranger: wat
You: PARKER, IM NOT PAYING YOU TO GREET ME
You: IM PAYING YOU GET PICTURES OF THAT WEBBED MENACE
Stranger: wo the fucks parker
You: YOU
You: PARKER
Stranger: im not parker
You: YES YOU ARE
You: YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM
Stranger: no im not
You: YOUR VOICE IS JUST LIKE HIS
You: YOUR HAIR IS THE SAME COLOR
Stranger: u cant c me
You: NEED I GO ON?
You: WHAT ARE YOU INVISIBLE?
Stranger: yeah
You: THATS STUPID, PARKER
You: WE DONT HAVE ROOM FOR MORE PEOPLE WITH IMAGINATION HERE IN THE DAILY BUGLE HERE, PARKER
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: England 15 M
You: PARKER! GET IN MY OFFICE!
You: I NEED PICTURES!
You: PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!
Stranger: sweet
You: PICTURES, PARKER, OR YOU'RE FIRED!
Stranger: no but sur
Stranger: im
You: YEAH? YOU'RE WHAT, PARKER! SPIT IT OUT!
Stranger: never mind, sur i will get u that picture of spiderman
You: GOOD! AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU FIND THEM! I can see it now... FRONT PAGE: MASKED MAN ROBS CITY.
You: YOU STILL HERE, PARKER?
Stranger: how about a pic of the green goblin?
You: HELL NO! IS SPIDER-MAN FIGHTING HIM OR SOMETHING?
Stranger: i have a feeling he might
You: I CAN SEE IT NOW: SPIDER-MAN FIGHTS INNOCENT GREEN-GARBED CITIZEN!
Stranger: sur 1 more thing
You: WHAT NOW, PARKER?
Stranger: why so serious, hahahaHAHAHAHAHA!
Stranger: u wanna know how i got this scars?
You: BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN ME MY DAMN PICTURES, PARKER! GO! GET OUT!
You: YOU'D BETTER GO GET THOSE PICTURES, PARKER, OR I'LL GET EDDIE BROCK TO DO IT INSTEAD!
Stranger: no sur the pic will be here by sunset
You: GOOD, NOW LEAVE!
Stranger: door slamm
You have disconnected.


Stranger: Hello
You: PARKER, GET IN MY OFFICE!
Stranger: *Grabs MG-42*
Stranger: SIEG HEIL
Stranger: *full auto*
Stranger: Yeah, you can't really respond to that.
You: YES, I CAN.
You: YOU'RE FIRED.
You: IDIOT.
You have disconnected.


Stranger: there's a monster under my bed
You: YOU KNOW WHAT WILL MAKE HIM GO AWAY?
Stranger: what?
You: PICTURES!
You: PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!
Stranger: good idea
You: GODDAMIT, PARKER, YOU'RE SUCH A PUSSY SOMETIMES.
You: NOW WHERE ARE THOSE PICTURES?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: hey, how are yah?
Stranger: cool, yah same here.
You: PARKER, I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO GREET ME! I'M PAYING YOU TO BRING ME PICTURES!
You: PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!
Stranger: Here is a pic of me [image link removed] do you think i'm hot?
You: I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS IF YOU'RE MARYLIN MONROE! UNLESS THERE'S A SPIDER-MAN IN THAT PICTURE, IT'S TRASH!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: PARKER! GET IN MY OFFICE!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: GET IN MY OFFICE! PARKER!
You: WHERE ARE MY PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN!?
Stranger: yes mama
You: I'M NOT YOUR MAMA! PARKER!
Stranger: i only got naked pictures of him...
You: WHAT ARE YOU ON!?
Stranger: crack..
You: EVEN BETTER! THAT'LL RUIN THAT WEB HEAD MENACE'S REPUATION!
Stranger: yupp but i cant show you themm.
You: NOW WHERE ARE THESE PICTURES SO WE CAN PRINT THEM ON THE FRONT PAGE?!
You: THEN YOU'RE FIRED!
You: I'M PAYING YOU TO TAKE PICTURES PARKER!
Stranger: his penis is like 2 inches tho
You: WE'LL CENSORE THAT OUT! IT IS A NEWPAPER!
You: NOW WHERE ARE MY PICTURES PARKER!!
Stranger: i tought this was a magazine place
You: FOR FUCK SAKES! PARKER! GET IT TOGETHER!!
You: NOW HAND OVER THE PICTURES PARKER!! OR YOU'RE FIRED!!
Stranger: i cant
You: STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!!!
Stranger: im not
Stranger: your wasting mine
You: NO!!
You: YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME!! I'M PAYING YOU FOR PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN!
You: YOU'RE FIRED PARKER!!
You: I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!
Stranger: no plz sure


You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE!
Stranger: this is not new, dude!
You: I WANT PICTURES! PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!
Stranger: i prefer batman!
You: I'LL TAKE OLD PICTURES THEN
You: BATMAN'S A PUBLIC MENACE TOO!
Stranger: or... harry osborn!
Stranger: i reeeeeeally like him!
Stranger: or, Iron man!
You: WELL I REEEEALLLY LIKE MY PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN SO GO GET THEM, PARKER!


You: PARKER! GET IN MY OFFICE!
Stranger: Hey
Stranger: fuck you boss
You: IM NOT PAYIN YOU TO GREET ME PARKER
Stranger: I'm quitting
You: YOU CANT QUIT
You: YOUR FIRED!
Stranger: unless you fuck me in the ass
You: NO PARKER
You: YOU FAGGIT
Stranger: alright boss, sorry
Stranger: it won't happen again
Stranger: i'll start again with half pay
You: NO
You: YOUR FIRED
You: GET OUT OF HERE PARKER
Stranger: alright sir
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: PAAAAAAAAAARKER
You: IN MY OFFICE NOW
Stranger: Yes JJ
You: SHOW ME PICTURES
You: PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN
You: HURRY IT UP BOY
Stranger: Why are you naked?
You: YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT THE ANSWER TO THAT VERY SOON
You: MS BRANDT, GET IN THE OFFICE
Stranger: I think this is sexual harrasment JJ
You: PARKER, BEND OVER
Stranger: But I poop from there!!!
You: NOT ANYMORE YOU DON'T


Stranger: how much into bsdm are u
You: I'M NOT INTO BDSM
You: I'M INTO SPIDER-MAN
Your conversational partner has disconnected

[Vector]

What the hell, man.

What's that from, anyway?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

What useless sons of bitches! Not even one of those Parkers could get you a picture of Spiderman. He only swings all over the damn city on his freaky web things. It is just impossible to find good help named Parker these days.

[Dakk]

That is so beautiful.

[Josephus]

What the hell, man.

What's that from, anyway?

Looks like Omegle or something.

[ToonyMan]

What the hell, man.

What's that from, anyway?

A thread on /co/, I picked out a bunch I liked.

[SHAD0Wdump]

F-ing brilliant.

[Dakk]

There was a similar thread on /lit/ some months ago, I did it with I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, it worked perfectly.

[Solifuge]

Behold, the wonders of instant, anonymous communication.

[Gunner-Chan]

... I AM WINRAR!




Go go SuwakoMarisa!

[Aqizzar]

Spoiler: PARKER, BRING ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN (click to show/hide)

You: PAAAAAAAAAARKER
You: IN MY OFFICE NOW
Stranger: Yes JJ
You: SHOW ME PICTURES
You: PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN
You: HURRY IT UP BOY
Stranger: Why are you naked?
You: YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT THE ANSWER TO THAT VERY SOON
You: MS BRANDT, GET IN THE OFFICE
Stranger: I think this is sexual harrasment JJ
You: PARKER, BEND OVER
Stranger: But I poop from there!!!
You: NOT ANYMORE YOU DON'T

That is so much more funny than it has any right to be.

[ToonyMan]

Spoiler: WELL I REEEEEEEEEEALLY WANT PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN (click to show/hide)

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: PARKER! GET IN MY OFFICE
Stranger: I love you. Really. I love you. <3 I will send you my nudes. Do you want them?
You: DO YOU HAVE NUDES?
Stranger: okey Mr:jameson
You: PICTURES?
You: NUDE PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN?


You: PARKER! GET IN MY OFFICE!
Stranger: okay sir
You: WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?
Stranger: i;m; sorry
Stranger: what have i done?!?!
Stranger: what pictures?
You: DAMMIT PARKER
Stranger: :S
Stranger: i'm sorry sir
You: GET THOSE PHOTOS AND DONT COME BACK TILL YOU DO!
Stranger: i'm sorry
Stranger: they're gone
Stranger: i threw them out the window
You: WTF PARKER
You: YOUR FIRED!
Stranger: no i'm not
Stranger: b.c
Stranger: I'M SPIDERMAN BITCH!!!
You: PARKER!!!!!!!!
You: SHUT UP AND GET THOSE PHOTOS
Stranger: yo bitch check this out *sploosh* look at that... spidey web out my wrist right there.. check ito ut!
Stranger: HA
Stranger: got you speechless now!!
Stranger: you want your damn photos!
Stranger: how about a raise?
Stranger:
You: PARKER
You: GO TO HELL


Stranger: hey, how are yah?
You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE
You: I NEED PICTURES
Stranger: cool, yah same here.
You: PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN
Stranger: Here is a pic of me [image link removed] do you think i'm hot?
Stranger: shoot, ma roomate is beingg weird! If you want u can add me asa friend and send me a msg at [link removed] I has a few nudez uploaded there and ma cell #
You: GODDAMN IT PARKER STOP TWIDDLING YOUR THUMBS AND GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE
Stranger: hohoho
Stranger: im santa :3
You: WHAT THE-
You: PARKER ARE YOU HIGH AGAIN??!!!!
Stranger:
You: I DON'T HAVE THIS FOR THIS GODDAMNED BULLSHIT PARKER, GET ME THOSE PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN
Stranger: ...
Stranger: umm
Stranger: have the men in white coats been yet?


Stranger: Hey there!
You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE
Stranger: What's up? WOAH!
You: I NEED PICTURES, PARKER
Stranger: I was chilled up until that... MARY JAAAANE!
You: I HAVE A FRONT PAGE TO RUN IN NINE HOURS WITH NO PICTURES!
You: STOP YELLING ABOUT THAT GIRL YOU MARRIED BUT DIDN'T
Stranger: THIS IS TERRIBLE GRAMMAR!
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
You: AND GET ME SNAPSHOTS OF THAT WALL-CRAWLING MENACE
You: PARKER I DON'T PAY YOU TO COPY EDIT
Stranger: OOOOH KINY
You: I HAVE OTHER PEOPLE I DON'T PAY TO DO THAT
Stranger: KINKY** FUCK
Stranger: D:
You: WHAT? KINKY PHOTOS OF SPIDER-MAN?
Stranger: KISS ME
You: PERFECT!
Stranger: NO
Stranger: ~!!!!!
You: "WEB-SLINGING PERVERT CAUGHT ON FILM!"
Stranger: THIS WAVY LINE IS SERIOUS
Stranger: NOW THAT THAT'S ALL SORTED
You: "HEROIC PUBLISHER RAILS AGAINST SUPER-SMUT!"
You: BRILLIANT, PARKER!
Stranger: ...what are you wearing? ;_
Stranger:
You: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT
You: JUST HAND OVER THE PICTURES AND GO HOME, PARKER
Stranger: I'M TRYING TO GET INTO THE MIND OF THE PERVERT
Stranger: THINKING LIKE THE PERVERT
Stranger: YOU KNOW?!
You: PARKER YOU DON'T NEED TO THINK
You: YOU NEED TO TAKE PICTURES
Stranger: AGGGHHHHH MY AUNT IS DEAD
Stranger: FUCKING BALLS
Stranger: D: OK
Stranger: LOVE YOU


Stranger: hey
You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE
You: I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO NOT BRING ME PICTURES
Stranger: coming, coming
You: PARKER, YOU PROMISED ME SHOTS OF THAT WEB-SPINNING MENACE
Stranger: you know jameson, youre a a dick
You: A SUCCESSFUL DICK, PARKER
You: YOU DON'T GET TO THE TOP BY BEING NICE
You: NOW WHERE ARE MY PICTURES
Stranger: im busy fucking kirsten dunst... err.. .i mean mary jane
You: I DON'T PAY YOU TO HAVE SEX, PARKER
You: I HAVE OTHER PEOPLE I PAY FOR THAT
Stranger: i hate you jameson
Stranger: i really do
You: THE FEELING'S MUTUAL, KID
You: NOW GO OUT AND GET ME SOME PICTURES OR YOU'RE FIRED
Stranger: fine! i QUIT


Stranger: Rah rah
You: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE
You: I NEED PICTURES
Stranger: I'm sorry, I'm Lady Gaga.
You: PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN
You: GODDAMN IT PARKER STOP CROSS DRESSING
Stranger: But it's so fun
You: GET ME MY PICTURES NOW
Stranger: Alright...
Stranger: Spiderman?
You: YES
You: SPIDER
You: MAN
You: GET THEM NOW AND DON'T COME BACK WITHOUT THEM
Stranger: Alright....
Stranger: [image link of spiderman]
Stranger: There you go, sir.
Stranger: Straight from google.
You: DAMN IT PARKER, I DON'T PAY YOU TO.....oh shit wait
You have disconnected.


Me : PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE!
Stranger : PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE!