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[Loud Whispers]

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Historians studying archival photographs from four decades ago have come to the conclusion that the U.S. must have believed in science at some point.

According to the historian Davis Logsdon, who has been sifting through mounds of photographic evidence at the University of Minnesota, the nation apparently once held the view that investing in science and even math could yield accomplishments that would be a source of national pride.

While Logsdon has not developed a complete theory to explain the United States’ pro-science stance during that era, he attributes some of it to the liberal views of the President at that time, Richard M. Nixon.

[Alev]

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Historians studying archival photographs from four decades ago have come to the conclusion that the U.S. must have believed in science at some point.

According to the historian Davis Logsdon, who has been sifting through mounds of photographic evidence at the University of Minnesota, the nation apparently once held the view that investing in science and even math could yield accomplishments that would be a source of national pride.

While Logsdon has not developed a complete theory to explain the United States’ pro-science stance during that era, he attributes some of it to the liberal views of the President at that time, Richard M. Nixon.

What? Us Muricans, believing in science? Heresy!

[Tawa]

* Tawarochir takes a page out of MZ's notebook, glues it into his spellbook, and uses the Maximum Zero Punch to punch Alev into the sun

FER SCIENCE

AND MORGAN FREEMAN

[MaximumZero]

I'm MaximumZero, and I approve this message.

[BFEL]

* Tawarochir takes a page out of MZ's notebook, glues it into his spellbook, and uses the Maximum Zero Punch to punch Alev into the sun

FER SCIENCE

AND MORGAN FREEMAN

Gah, saw a trailer for a movie he's in today. "Lucy" its apparently based on the premise that "human beings only use 10% of their brains" and this Lucy chick is slowly increasing the percentage of that and gaining psychic supapowas and generally making the military piss itself.

WHY DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND THAT PHRASE MEANS PEOPLE USE 10% *AT ANY ONE TIME*?

As in, I'm using 10% right now, and in the next second I'll be using a DIFFERENT 10%.

Anyway, back to happies.

[Descan]

Is even *that* still true though? I thought even that had been kind of "errr... not really..."'d.

[Darvi]

Mythbusters have proven that you use a larger percentage than that while sleeping.

Also, this guy.

[MaximumZero]

I was very surprised that Morgan Freeman took a role in that movie, given his connection to real-life science.

[Descan]

I was very surprised that Morgan Freeman took a role in that movie, given his connection to real-life science.

It'd be like Bill Nye narrating a creationist video, or Kate Mulgrew narrating a flat-earth video*.

*this one actually happened...

[alway]

* Tawarochir takes a page out of MZ's notebook, glues it into his spellbook, and uses the Maximum Zero Punch to punch Alev into the sun

FER SCIENCE

AND MORGAN FREEMAN

Gah, saw a trailer for a movie he's in today. "Lucy" its apparently based on the premise that "human beings only use 10% of their brains" and this Lucy chick is slowly increasing the percentage of that and gaining psychic supapowas and generally making the military piss itself.

WHY DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND THAT PHRASE MEANS PEOPLE USE 10% *AT ANY ONE TIME*?

As in, I'm using 10% right now, and in the next second I'll be using a DIFFERENT 10%.

Anyway, back to happies.

Also, it's completely bollocks. You use all your brain all the time. It's better to think of neurons similarly to a heartbeat; they can go faster or slower, but have a general baseline of activity all the time. It's the aggregate patterns of that fast and slow activity which make up our minds. You can fire them all really fast at once though. That's called a seizure.

[Sirus]

I was very surprised that Morgan Freeman took a role in that movie, given his connection to real-life science.

It'd be like Bill Nye narrating a creationist video, or Kate Mulgrew narrating a flat-earth video*.

*this one actually happened...

Money, dear boy. Plus its just a silly movie, like Wanted. Or Oblivion. Or...

[Orange Wizard]

This post has been claimed for my sigtext.

In other words, congratulations! You found my sigtext!

I'll leave my real Forum Comedy Medal here:

* Yoink ceremoniously pins a Forum Comedy medal on InsanityIncarnate.

Some other stuff:

What, you think InsanityIncarnate can't interdimensionally punch your stomach asunder?

I hope that this doesn't turn into another sig war.

Java's more object-oriented than a sitcom sleazeball.

II confirmed for Daphne.

I've heard of a fad war....
But a fad whore?
Well, you're a first II.

Why did the most powerful ring in the world have it's effect changed from 'Awesome Death Punches' to 'Go to spirit world for a bit'? It would have been awesome to see a hobbit drop kick sauron to death.

[MaximumZero]

Broken Arrow.

[BFEL]

Ah, well sorry, guess I'm not fully up to date on my neuroscience.
Would work on that, but college is an expensive thing and BFEL has to take care of his Matriarch. I am now wondering how she would respond if I started referring to her solely as "Matriarch"

You are probably now wondering this about your own Matriarch.

[Orange Wizard]

Ah, well sorry, guess I'm not fully up to date on my neuroscience.
Would work on that, but college is an expensive thing and BFEL has to take care of his Matriarch. I am now wondering how she would respond if I started referring to her solely as "Matriarch"

You are probably now wondering this about your own Matriarch.

I would be, but I don't have a Matriarch. I just have a droopy bag of pus and wrinkles.