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Jervous (ratman)

7 (43.8%)

Slimdus

2 (12.5%)

The Ratmen

1 (6.3%)

El Ele'phant'ai

2 (12.5%)

Leechman Brown

3 (18.8%)

That Demon

0 (0%)

Nightwing

1 (6.3%)

Total Members Voted: 16

[Jervous]

First, you decide to think of ways to tame it.

First thing that came to mind: neutering. Your eyes twitch. You think you're going to puke. Cutting off a...oh god. Thousands of pictures of cutting off..items invade your mind. You flush them out with the kobold.

Let's not think of anything like that again.

(I'm going to stop using bold for a while, it's a bit of a hassle.)

You decide to feed it random weeds around your cave and shove them into it's trunk. It's pupils grow very small. You give up on that idea, so you decide to engrave images in the walls of the cave of Elephants beating up baby elephants, and ratmen and kobolds protecting baby elephants. The elephant begins to stare at the pictures. Infact, it's still staring at them for a few minutes.

You carve a log into a small animal trap and go outside, to practice taming small animals. You find a cockroach and feed it some weeds. You begin to tame it, and sure enough it doesn't attack you or run away. Chances are it wouldn't have anyways. You are now a competent trapper and tamer!

[NUKE9.13]

Have the cockroach do ratty disobedience till his juice is 20 then have him carve ratty slogans in walls till 50

Sorry.
That would be silly.

Use your newfound knowledge to further indoctrinate the elephant

[Phantom]

Get a boner with the kobold.

[Jervous]

That would be embarassing.


You keep the cockroach in the storage part of the cave and begin taming the elephant.


The elephant is intrigued with Jervous' form of lifestyle.
Infact, the elephant is now Jervous' loveslave!


You attempt to train the elephant. It works like a charm. You find the elephant's eye on the ground and put it back in the socket. You and the elephant are now best friends! El Ele'Phantai is now tamed!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Akigagak]

Go down ramp with El'Elephantine and the kolbold.

[Phantom]

Ask ratmen about wood.

[Jetsquirrel]

Show your manlyness to The kobold and try to mate

[Armok]

> hug kobold

[Jervous]

You ask the Ratmen about wood. They say we have 5 pieces left. You, Slimdus and El Ele'Phantai go into the new cavern that was opened up, and down the ramp...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A bigger cavern. I wonder what's inside?! Slimdus holds onto you in fright. You comfort her and show her your manlyness. You ask to mate.

El Ele'Phantai turns you you and looks at you unimpressed. "Wow, smart, mating in a cave we've never been before. I want to tear your eyes out." You look at the Elephant in fright. "Just kidding. But seriously, that's just stupid."

[Armok]

> Claim that acting intelligently is unromantic, and proceed to commit the mentioned stupidity.

> human: complain about plump helmets being food fit only for dwarves.

[Jervous]

One of the humans spits out the plump helmet he was currently eating. "I hate plump helmets." The other human looked at him. "It's all we got." The swordsman slammed his hand on the table. "They taste like dwarven skin and look like-did you hear that?" The spearman blinked. "What?"

"Acting intelligently is unromantic!" You yell at the elephant, and grab Slimdus. Then there was a slam and another yell. You begin to sob.

Suddenly, two humans come out from behind the cave wall corner. "A kobold! And a ratman! Kill them!" The swordsman pointed at the elephant. "And an elephant?! What the hell?" They pull out their weapons. "Finally, meat!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You pull out your dagger and the elephant readies it's tusks.

[Jetsquirrel]

Let the elephant charge at them

[Jervous]

The elephant toots a warcry from it's trunk and charges at the two humans. Too slow to dodge, it plows right through them and they fly against the cave walls.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They scramble to their feet and charge towards the elephant.

[Akigagak]

Backstab.

[Jervous]

The spearman stabs at the elephant with his spear! It misses!
The swordsman slashes at the elephant with his sword! The attack glances off!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

While the humies are distracted with the elephant, you and Slimdus sneak behind the spearman and you stab the human in the neck.

The spearman's throat has been slashed out!
The spearman has bled to death.

Slimdus grabs his spear and points it at the Swordsman's neck.
"No! Don't kill me! Please, I'm just hungry! I've been stuck down here for days..!"


Do you kill the human or not?