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Author Topic: Oh, carp!  (Read 1959 times)

Iapetus

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Oh, carp!
« on: September 14, 2009, 04:58:27 pm »
Woot! My weaponsmith has just created an artifact iron crossbow!  ;D

Woot!  My two wrestlers have become champions!   ;D

<just a few minutes later>

Arrgg!  A kobold has sneaked into my barracks while my soldiers were getting a drink and stolen my artifact crossbow!    :o

<The champions quickly put on duty and sent them after the kobold>   >:(

Arrgg!  A carp has pulled one of the champions into the river!   :o

Arrgg!  The kobold has escaped with my artifact!   >:(

Arrgg!  My champion has drowned!   :'(
Logged
Engraved on the floor is a well-designed image of a kobold and a carp.  The kobold is making a plaintive gesture.  The carp is laughing.

mission0

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2009, 05:05:58 pm »
You should have unleashed your "orbital magma cannon" upon him. I hear that every fortress is getting one now. ^_^
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Quote from: Tarran on May 25, 2010, 09:42:46 pm
Oh wait, "insane" doesn't work on this forum.
Crap, can't think of an alternative.

dogstile

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2009, 05:26:49 pm »
orbital magma cannons are overrated

seriously, do you know how hard it is to pump all that magma up a shaft to the 10th z level? screw that, do you know how long it takes to even construct the damn thing? :P
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Quote from: Wraithsight on July 14, 2009, 07:33:54 pm
my champion is now holding his artifact crossbow by his upper left leg and still shooting with is just fine despite having no hands.
Quote from: Jim Groovester on July 14, 2009, 07:35:00 pm
What? He's firing from the hip.

mission0

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2009, 05:34:09 pm »
Quote from: dogstile on September 14, 2009, 05:26:49 pm
orbital magma cannons are overrated

seriously, do you know how hard it is to pump all that magma up a shaft to the 10th z level? screw that, do you know how long it takes to even construct the damn thing? :P

Hey 15 years of in game time seems reasonable to me.
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Quote from: Tarran on May 25, 2010, 09:42:46 pm
Oh wait, "insane" doesn't work on this forum.
Crap, can't think of an alternative.

Jovialknight

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2009, 06:53:46 pm »
'Tis called a mega-constuction for a reason eh? :D
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Quote from: Aspgren on June 10, 2012, 11:52:43 am

A goblin just killed one of my dwarves and then executed the two babies she was carrying.

The father is doing perfectly fine. He's happy because he became a father recently.

neek

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2009, 07:08:48 pm »
Pff. Constructing orbital cannons are so passé. What you need to do is cast it out of obsidian.
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Rijjka

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2009, 07:17:27 pm »
why not really test the limits of in game physics? Find a vein of Pitchblende (Aka Uranium) Make it into blocks. Make a small road (or floor) out of those blocks. Place some blocks on the floor/road. Build a drawbrigde out of it. Place the brawbridge so it will close on the road/floor, and pull the lever. With any luck, you'll hit critical mass and make a Dwarven Nuke!
Logged
Quote from: Oliolli on July 12, 2011, 05:08:42 am
To the dorf pulling the lever, the lever is just a lever. The magma pouring out of the mountainside is just a coincidence. To the dorf designing a pump stack from the magma sea, it is just that: a pump stack. No specific reason for it. It will never do anything.
Quote from: Lezard on July 12, 2011, 07:15:01 am
for reasons best knows to themselves, the elves decided to explode

Lord Dakoth

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2009, 10:58:46 pm »
Quote from: dogstile on September 14, 2009, 05:26:49 pm
do you know how hard it is to pump all that magma up a shaft to the 10th z level? screw that,

Please tell me I'm not the only one who noticed this.
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Avatar by legendary engraver /u/Redicno of reddit.

Lawec

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2009, 01:56:32 am »
Quote from: Lord Dakoth on September 14, 2009, 10:58:46 pm
Quote from: dogstile on September 14, 2009, 05:26:49 pm
do you know how hard it is to pump all that magma up a shaft to the 10th z level? screw that,

Please tell me I'm not the only one who noticed this.

I noticed it  ;D

When you pointed it out... :P
Logged
Quote from: smokingwreckage on March 27, 2010, 11:31:58 pm
In order to improve the universe's frame rate, we must all throw rocks into volcanoes and then do absolutely nothing, worldwide, for a week, to take pressure off pathfinding.

Dorf3000

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2009, 02:30:45 am »
Quote from: Iapetus on September 14, 2009, 04:58:27 pm


Arrgg!  A kobold has sneaked into my barracks while my soldiers were getting a drink and stolen my artifact crossbow!    :o


You know I've never seen a real-life barracks where they just have some beds and a big pile of weapons lying on the ground for anyone to walk up and take.  They usually have some kind of *cough* WALL around them, with *cough* GUARD DOGS near the entrance.

;)
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Quote from: Dish It Out! on April 20, 2012, 02:57:07 am
I had a tigerman get elected mayor and he promptly mandated 3 bowls of cereal.

BlazingDav

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2009, 07:41:51 am »
defense is overrated apparently
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Lord Dakoth

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #11 on: September 15, 2009, 04:19:18 pm »
Defense is overrated. The thing nowadays is annihilating anything that sets foot on the map... with magma.
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Avatar by legendary engraver /u/Redicno of reddit.

Terbert

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2009, 04:31:37 pm »
This magma fixation was old before it started.
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Rijjka

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2009, 05:19:16 pm »
Yeah, since the rock involved is older then most dwarfs.
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Quote from: Oliolli on July 12, 2011, 05:08:42 am
To the dorf pulling the lever, the lever is just a lever. The magma pouring out of the mountainside is just a coincidence. To the dorf designing a pump stack from the magma sea, it is just that: a pump stack. No specific reason for it. It will never do anything.
Quote from: Lezard on July 12, 2011, 07:15:01 am
for reasons best knows to themselves, the elves decided to explode

dogstile

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Re: Oh, carp!
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2009, 06:18:01 pm »
Quote from: Lord Dakoth on September 14, 2009, 10:58:46 pm
Quote from: dogstile on September 14, 2009, 05:26:49 pm
do you know how hard it is to pump all that magma up a shaft to the 10th z level? screw that,

Please tell me I'm not the only one who noticed this.

i'm sorry dude, you are :P

it 'twas quite funny though
Logged
Quote from: Wraithsight on July 14, 2009, 07:33:54 pm
my champion is now holding his artifact crossbow by his upper left leg and still shooting with is just fine despite having no hands.
Quote from: Jim Groovester on July 14, 2009, 07:35:00 pm
What? He's firing from the hip.
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