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[Aqizzar]

I cannot believe your first casualty in x-com was Aqizzar. You gave him a frigging cannon of a gun too.

WHY DID I MISS THIS?!?  WORKERDRONE BRO POST WHEN YOURE ONLINE BRO

[Jackrabbit]

I didn't see the end but I think we won that one. Still, he had a bit of a freakout.

Apparently though, in the previous encounter you shrugged off a plasma blast and tore the would be attacker a new one.

[WorkerDrone]

OKAY BRO I'M DOING IT NOW BRO.

[Aqizzar]

What the hell just happened?  Did anyone else lose the signal?  Because I just got kicked off.

[Duke 2.0]

 I...

 Alright, everybody is dead.

 All of you. Yes, even you. Even me. Captain Aqizzar will inform you all of the details.

[cowofdoom78963]

This is so exciting, Ive never seen a streaming video before!

[sonerohi]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

WD shot down a UFO over some country. Then he built a lot of
lazars and a new base. And some power suits. And some medkits,
because he's a pansy ass elf who can't just rest in a bed for
a year.Then we waited around forever before he grew a pair and
sent an interceptor out to a UFO near some island near Europe.
Then that pair of his went hiding like a groundhog in winter
because he admitted it was Beginner difficulty. Then he had to
get icecream or change his maxipad or something. Things must've
been intense, because he sent two interceptors and a skyranger
all on this one UFO. Then he took half an hour to make 10 or so
plasma clips.Then he did some infrastructure before shooting
some motherfucking UFO down for flying funny. Then he took an
Egypt crash-site with naught but a hovertank and several flesh
bags. It was basically just the hovertank raining down plasma
from a hole in the roof. Somehow this won the mission.

[Aqizzar]

The Adventures of X-COM

Note: The stories you are about to hear are real.  The names have been changed to protect the innocent.  And because Aqizzar can't remember crap.

Mission 1: Raiding an Abductor

Captain WorkerDrone: Alright you mugs, get out of my SkyRanger!
Emperor_Jonathan: You're not coming?
Captain WorkerDrone: No, as commander I'll be issuing orders from the tacset back here.
Aqizzar: And you need the only suit of power armor to do that?
Captain WorkerDrone: Like I said, I'll be issuing orders.  Now get going.

Snipin' Aliens

Sofia: Somebody save me a Sectoid corpse, I've got plans!
Yougiedreggs: Yeah, we know you do.
Sofia: XD
Emperor_Jonathan: Why have I been guarding this farmhouse for the past twenty minutes?
Duke: Hey, you can't trust those farmhouses.
Dwarfaholic: BOOM HEADSHOT

Enterin' da ship

Captain WorkerDrone, over radio, from his flying metal womb: Auslander, you're up!  Open that door!
Auslander: Balls...
Emperor_Jonathan: My legs are tired from running, and this gun is hea- PUNY HUMANS YOU WILL ALL DIE
thobal: Oh shit, he's become Emperor_TeamKill
Duke: Emperor_TeamInjure anyway.
Auslander: OW FUCKING HELL THAT HURT hey I'm bleeding very slowly now.
Captain WorkerDrone: Just use the awesome medics I packed in the... oh shit.
Emperor_Jonathan: What medkits?
Captain WorkerDrone: ...The, uh, medkits everyone's buried to their asses in back at base.
Auslander: Tempus Fugit people, my hemoglobin's on the clock here!

Dwarfaholic: OH GOD We're all gonna die, I better block the only door out.
Aqizzar: Hey Captain McDoucheDrone, you gonna get out here and help or what?
Captain McDoucheDrone: I can make your grenades detonate you know.
Sofia: You wouldn't da- CYDONIA WILL CONSUME YOU OH SCIENCE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS BRAIN -re what the hell was just in my head?
Yougiedreggs: Somebody prod her quick oh hell what am I saying?!
Aqizzar: Come on the alien's weak now, get'em!
Vester: Hey this one's got a gu- uuuugghh.
Duke: Duke to the rescue!

Who is the man, That would risk his neck for his brother man?
DUKE!
Can ya dig it?

Many Aliens: ARGLBRGL *dead*

Who's the squaddie that won't cop out, When there's danger all about
DUKE!
Right on

Spaceship Wall: Oh damn son, I dead!
Alien Commander: It's the motherfucking Duke!

You see this squaddie Duke is a bad mother--
SHUT YO MOUTH
But I'm talkin' about Duke
Dead Aliens: We can dig it.

Back at the ranch...

Sofia: Yay, squirmy corpses!
CaptainColonel WorkerDrone: Indeed, corpses.  Also, we're broke, so I'm going to be methodically building clips and armor suits EXACTLY ONE UNIT AT A TIME.
SHAD0Wdump: I'm bored because you're boring Drone.  I'mma go start my own videochannel!  It's be great, with Blackjack, and hookers, and Descent 1!

Mission 2: TERROR MISSION (hells yeah) IN PARIS

Aqizzar: OMG Colonel McDoucheDrone emerges!
Colonel WorkerDrone: Yeah yeah, shut up.  Hey Sofia, kill that Floater.
Sofia: Floaters?  Aw no groins.  But they do have mouths!
Colonel WorkerDrone: Uhg, whatever, get out of the firing line.
Sofia: Do who in the wha- *GURGLE*
Aqizzar: What the crap?
Colonel WorkerDrone: Eh, she'll get a kick out of that when we uncork her next clone.

Screwing around in Paris

A1s: Oh noes!  A floater three blocks away from me!  What to do?
Colonel McDoucheDrone: Shoot eet!
Nine other squaddies en route to target: What the crap?
Some Other Squaddie: WFT Teamkill! *BLARG*

Home again.

Colonel WorkerDrone: Behold my tactical genius as I send every ship after one UFO while three others appear!

Mission 3: Large Scout in Kyrgyzstan

Colonel McAwesomeDrone: It's time we had some proper motivation...
Aqizzar: You take my life but I'll take yours too
Emperor_Jonathan: You fire your musket but I run you through
Aqizzar: So when you're waiting for the next attack
Emperor_Jonathan: You'd better stand there's no turning back.
EVERYONE IN THE WORLD: O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ohhh!

Dwarfaholic: At this particular moment, I don't believe I have a healthier or more deeply held respect for any object in the universe than this here heavy plasma gun...
Many More Dead Aliens: You don't say.
Aqizzar: We wasted music on this.
Mission 3: This is boring, let's get to the good stuff already.
X-COM: Alright, you asked for it.

Mission 4 (AKA Everyone dies forever) - Crashed Abductor

Colonel WorkerDrone: Alright, everyone fucking charge!  Except me.
Yougiedreggs: I'm here to kick ass and kill aliens, and I'm all out of ass...
Dwarfaholic: BOOM another headsho- HUMAN BLOOD FOR THE SPACE GODS
Ampersand: How the Hell did I get this far inside the ship?
Yougiedreggs: I dunno, what did the Colonel say to- PEWPEWPEW -oh crap! *DEAD*
Ampersand: No, our star shooter probably!  I've got them!
NOT ENOUGH TIME UNITS
Colonel WorkerDrone: If anyone asks, Ampersand died a hero.
Emperor_Jonathan: It did take four shots to kill him.
Duke: What's up with these reality-bending corner joints?  Oh hey, an alien. *SIZZLE* Hey wait, that was me!  ARG!
Dwarfaholic: I'm all alone out here.
Colonel McDoucheDrone: Right, B-Team (i.e. the other half of the squad I forgot the order out of the lander) gooo!
Aqizzar: Hell yes time to rock and EARTH WILL BE CONSUMED!
Emperor_Jonathan: Oh God dammit, not YOU WILL BE ENSLAVED!  AND THIS MEAT SHALL KILL THOBAL!
Kholhous: Wow, he really is Emperor_Teamkill now AND THIS MEAT WILL RUN AIMLESSLY!
Dwarfaholic: Why is my head still hurting?!  My brains are leaking out of my ears!
Aqizzar: I'll shoot up the SkyRanger, that'll make it stop attacking!
Colonel McPussyDrone: Game over man, game over!  I'm getting the fuck outta here!  Yo sup Aqizzar, calling me a loser now hu-
Aqizzar: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DRIVE YOU BASTARD.
Colonel McDoucheDrone: Okay, that went tits up in a hurry.  So here's what happened - the spaceship caught fire.
Aqizzar: But-
Colonel McDoucheDrone: Everyone killed lots of aliens.
Aqizzar: But-
Colonel McDoucheDrone: Then the spaceship blew up.
Aqizzar: But-
Colonel McDoucheDrone: There was nothing left.
Aqizzar: But-
Colonel McDoucheDrone: And we were thrown clear and left.
Aqizzar: That's completely wrong!
Colonel McDoucheDrone: Lemme put it this way...

Colonel McDoucheDrone: ...CAPTAIN Aqizzar, everyone fought and died as heroes, and only we escaped.  Clear?
Aqizzar: Heroes, escaped, fiery explosion.  Crystal.

Audience: Best.  Mission.  Ever.

Stay tuned for the continuing adventures of WorkerDrone And His Fighting Game Vidoes!  Same X-COM time, same X-Com channel!

[WorkerDrone]

Hey Sonerohi. Fuck off.

Also amazing Aqizzar.

[Broose]

I am tempted to message you on steam, so my name pops up.

[Emperor_Jonathan]

Just so you know guys, when I got controlled by the Aliens the second time, just before I died, I was in the middle of the whole B-Team.

[Duke 2.0]

 Transcript since then:
 Workerdrone gets annoyed about always loosing missions, an decides to build infrastructure. Slow period.
WD goes to the forums and checks some unflattering comments on his playstyle. Aqizzar then posts his transcript and all becomes right with the stream. We spend ten minutes reading it in awe. It is like a legendary engraving of a history of asskicking.

[Vester]

That transcript...

It was hilarious and true.

[ToonyMan]

Hahaha.

[Aqizzar]

Further update...

Aqizzar is now under alien control.

Colonel WorkerDrone: What are you doing Aqizzar?  Give me the plasma gun.
Aqizzar: YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED ME WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE
pewpewpew
Colonel WorkerDrone: With my last breath... I curse... The Internet!

RAGEQUIT then SAVESCUM

Emperor_Jonathan: Let us never speak of this again...