The year: Jan 1, 2020
The place: Spikeshots, the incest of hammers.
-"Urist McPress here with the DwarfCore© press corps. Welcome to State of the Game, 2020, a DwarfCore© special documentary. We are here on Unok Gunlel, at the fortress Spikeshots, the incest of hammers. Whew, what a name! Goblins have invaded the map recently, and set up camp on the northern slope of the mountain in a small cave. Their engineers are assembling siege weapons to batter down the fortress gates while goblin sappers are slowly tunneling down towards the depths. They seem to be attempting to breech the cistern, hoping to deprive the fortress of water for it's wells and irrigation system. We're going live to a meeting taking place in conference hall B, inside the mountain."
A dwarf in noble's garb stands at a lectern, addressing two dozen nervous but brave dwarven men and women.
-"Ladies, gentlemen, thank you all for coming. I have called this meeting to discuss a matter of grave importance..."
The speaker lets his words hang in the air momentarily, to enhance their impact. He continues shortly, his eyes flashing with anger!
-"I mandated the construction of 3 bismuth items, and this mandate was not carried out! This is UNACCEPTABLE!"
A dwarf from the audience stands and is recognized.
-"Excellency, with respect, I do not think this is the time. Goblins are at our doorstep, and we must marshal the Iron Guard to stations and meet them in combat. Your bismuth items be hanged... by Armok you know we still can't make anything but bars from bismuth! And last week you mandated green glass items, when there clearly is no sand around. Be reasonable excellency, we must repel this siege!"
The dwarven noble's countenance grew darker with every word, and finally he exploded in a torrent of abuse so foul that the lectern actually cracked and blackened a bit. Spittle flew from his mouth as he went into a rage, leaping onto the other dwarf.
Arthod McNoble cancels attend meeting: Throwing tantrum.
Muckrock McReasonable has been struck down!
The Hammerer stood up suddenly from the back of the crowd and strode forward, his massive hammer held before him.
-"Excellency, you have violated the law and murdered an innocent dwarf. I sentence you to 10 hammerstrokes and confinement for one season."
The Hammerer raises his hammer and brings it down in a strike that makes the floor shudder, and pummels the noble's head into his upper body, an unrecognizable mass!
Arthod McNoble has been struck down!
His job complete, the Hammerer sits back down and looks up at the cracked lectern expectantly, as though nothing untoward has happened. He pointedly ignored the red down arrows flashing above the McNoble family members. Another member of the nobility steps up to the lectern and claps his hand for attention, silencing the rising voices as dwarves spoke amongst themselves.
-"I call this meeting to order. First order of business, the goblin incursion..."
-"Urist McPress here again, wow wasn't that interesting? Tensions are high inside the mountain. But wait, we have something special in store for you. We have a reporter behind enemy lines and he has negotiated an interview with the leader of the goblin forces! How exciting! Let's watch."
A short creature with mottled green/brown skin and ratlike mannerisms stands here, wearing the skins and scalps of many other creatures plastered onto its body with mud and vomit. Nearby, a shorter dwarf wearing a -pig tail bag- over his head with two eye holes cut in it, and a pair of ridiculous kobald ears sewn onto the sides. The dwarf speaks in a hushed tone, crouched inside the goblin's tent.
-"So, you're the goblin leader of the siege. I see you are quite experienced in this, from your garb and impressive array of weapons. You even have a title, and flash in the manner of an elite! This is very exciting, wonderful to meet you."
The goblin sits down on a stool and sips from a small delicate elven cup which still has an elf child blood covering.
-"Yes, it's a dreadful boor but it has to be done. If nobody sieged these greedy dwarves then the wealth would never be redistributed and our demon leader would beat us mercilessly. She really is a nice person so long as she gets her 3 chests of valuables per day, and two virgin sacrifices a season."
The reporter/kobald impersonator nods and leans closer, still whispering.
-"I really appreciate you allowing this interview, the mountain home will be pleased to see what is happening out in this backwards fortress. I have one other question, I understand you are very busy and won't take any more of your time after that. Did you know that a dwarven wizard resides here in the mountain?"
The goblin spits out his tea, nearly falling off his stool.
-"What?! A wizard? We're not equipped for anti-spell warfare. You have to leave, I need to brief my men."
-"Urist McPress here, and wow that was a doozy. For our final report we take you live to the chambers of the wizard! Our records indicate that he was a seasoned adventurer, but settled down here to protect this fortress and its people when he married one of the locals. In fact it looks like he's preparing a nasty surprise for the goblins now!"
A stocky dwarf stands in the middle of a circle of glowing runes, chanting in a guttural language. On a cue from him, animals chained to the periphery of the circle are slaughtered in unison and their corpses dropped to the floor, allowing their blood to flow into channels carved through the circle. A manifestation of Armok appears wavering in the air, and the magician makes his plea in the same guttural language, the apparition seems unmoved, but vanishes when he is done and the blood-channels ignite with red/gold flame.
Outside, the goblin camp is in complete chaos. Rifts open in the cave floor and all variety of unsavory creatures poured out. Antmen and Naked Mole Dogs chase goblins down to gnaw at their ankles, while groundhogs leap up and gouge out eyes using their entire face as a weapon. Deep crows cry in ethereal voices, driving the goblins mad with fear and then plucking them delicately from the cave floor as if choosing fruits at a vendor before vanishing back into the rift, screaming goblins in tow.
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Topic: State of the Game 2020 (Read 1962 times)