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Author Topic: Healthcare will be so awesome  (Read 1337 times)

martinuzz

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Healthcare will be so awesome
« on: September 06, 2009, 06:00:34 pm »
Urist McStumpy has been miserable lately.
He has lost an arm to amputation recently. He has lost an arm to amptutation recently. He has lost a leg to amputation recently. He has lost a leg to amputation recently. He was upset that he wasn't able to start a fist fight recently. He is unhappy to be unable to throw things recently.
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Warlord255

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Re: Healthcare will be so awesome
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2009, 06:08:34 pm »
Kikrost McBraindead has been fine lately. He was relieved to have a surgery go successfully recently. He was unhappy to be unable to talk lately. He has had a siezure recently. He has been brought food recently.
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Rowanas

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Re: Healthcare will be so awesome
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2009, 06:16:52 pm »
Urist McCountess has had liposuction lately. She was unhappy to be unable to roll down stairs lately. She has had trouble keeping her skin rolls from tripping up other dwarves lately.
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Quote from: Dutchling on April 14, 2012, 02:28:14 pm
I agree with Urist. Steampunk is like Darth Vader winning Holland's Next Top Model. It would be awesome but not something I'd like in this game.
Quote from: Bumber on November 27, 2018, 01:05:30 am
Unfortunately dying involves the amputation of the entire body from the dwarf.

Lyrax

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Re: Healthcare will be so awesome
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2009, 09:48:28 pm »
Urist MacDoctor has been happy lately.  He was pleased to bring someone food lately.  He sadly had to amputate a patient's leg lately.  He was pleased to bring someone water lately.  He took joy in slaughter lately.  He sadly had to amputate a patient's arm.
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Witty

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Itnetlolor

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Re: Healthcare will be so awesome
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2009, 10:12:57 pm »
Quote from: Lyrax on September 06, 2009, 09:48:28 pm
Urist MacDoctor has been happy lately.  He was pleased to bring someone food lately.  He sadly had to amputate a patient's leg lately.  He was pleased to bring someone water lately.  He took joy in slaughter lately.  He sadly had to amputate a patient's arm.
Urist MacDoctor has been ecstatic lately. He amputated Minkot McNoble's leg today. He amputated Minkot McNoble's leg today. He amputated Minkot McNoble's arm today. He amputated Minkot McNoble's arm today. He amputated Minkot McNoble's head today. He cooked a legendary meal today. The fortress is happy with his superior cooking skill.

Soylent purple is nobles!! Soy-lent pur-ple is nob-les!!

Oh well...
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Lyrax

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Re: Healthcare will be so awesome
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2009, 10:26:19 pm »
Quote from: Itnetlolor on September 06, 2009, 10:12:57 pm
Soylent purple is nobles!! Soy-lent pur-ple is nob-les!!
Oh well...
I don't understand.  Is this an objection, or a statement of ecstatic joy?  Or both?
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Witty

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Inquisitor Saturn

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Re: Healthcare will be so awesome
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2009, 10:35:37 pm »
I will be sure to amputate the arms of hammerers
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Warlord255

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Re: Healthcare will be so awesome
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2009, 11:06:35 pm »
Quote from: Inquisitor Saturn on September 06, 2009, 10:35:37 pm
I will be sure to amputate the arms of hammerers

"Thanks fer takin' the time ta see me, doc. I got a scratch on me arm while I was hammerin' this fella an' he didn't look too clean..."
"We're going to have to amputate."
"WHAT?! But that's me good hammerin' arm! You didn't even look a-"
"I DON'T NEED TO LOOK, I'M A DOCTOR."
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Shad0wyone

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Re: Healthcare will be so awesome
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2009, 11:22:04 pm »
We need a way to take control of a dwarf in our fortress, like the old dungeon keeper game, and then go up to a hammerer, and attack his arms, making it so the doctor has to amputate, or even better, taking control of the doctor and amputating yourself!
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