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[Hamster Man]

I had 2 tamed dragons behind bauxite floodgates, overlooking my depot area.  The idea was that if the enemy got that far in, I'd flip a switch, drop the floodgates, the dragons would see the enemy and burninate them.

Didn't work so well.  The dragons burned the orcs... and the human caravan at the depot... and the depot.. and my quick reaction force of dwarves... and then my dedicated porters carried all of the burning goods to various stockpiles throughout my fortress.  Oops.

I think the dragons were being discriminating, they just didn't care if anything was between them and the enemy and the fire itself didn't mind friend from foe.

Playing today I noticed that the first squad in a siege would hit my traps, die, rout, and then the entire siege would run away.  That was too much exp and loot to waste, so I built "the roach motel".  The three circled drawbridges open up the route, close off the normal route, and when switched back trap the entire siege in there for you to play with as you see fit.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Damn, thats a complicated little dohickey... though if I'm looking right, you use bridges to shut off access, right? If so, you should plan something in case they bring building-destroyers.

A drawbridge over a deep pit is always fun.
"Dur, hey! Its a bridge! I'mma break it!"
"No wait til I'm of-AAAAaaaaahhhh..."
"Dur, now I are stuck."

[LumenPlacidum]

I rather like the concept of the fortress entirely defended by berserking dwarfs.  Bridge over to the main gate, where berserk dwarfs in cages sit atop small ramped pedestals.  Once pressure plates are pressed, the bridge rises, cutting off the escape rout, and then the cages are opened, releasing the bloodthirsty psychopaths onto the unfortunate goblin siege.  Besides, even if they die, they're criminals beyond all hope of recuperation... might as well make use of them!

[Evil One]

Hmm... I've just thought of a fun one, how about in order to enter the fortress enemies would have to cross a thin stone bridge over a chasm(natural or artificial depending on if you want their stuff or not), pass through a complex labyrinth full of dangerous traps and the last trap, several squares before they get to the actual doors of the fortress is a pressure plate that closes a floodgate to protect the fortress and opens another unleashing a flood(possibly from a diverted river it'd be easier than a cistern and wouldn't need refilling) which pushes the poor victims all the way back through the labyrinth again and (if they survive that) off the bridge and into the chasm.

[uttaku]

dropping kittens on them and then activating a thermonuclear catsoplosion

[MC Dirty]

dropping kittens on them and then activating a thermonuclear catsoplosion

You could even make a lever-triggered catsplosion because cages, as we all know, are pocket dimensions where the laws of temperature and pressure don't exist. That would allow you to record all the fun. Just put all the cats in a few cages (not just one, because the explosion should cover a large area), edit the raws, restart the game, build the cages, hook them up to a single lever and have fun (or even Fun if you have some pet cats).

[sace]

I want to make my entire fortress suspended above the ground with supports with the only entrance to the fort on the bottom.  Gobbo's come to the entrance, you throw the lever hooked up to the support and you get lots of Dwarvenstyle Gobbo Pancakes.

[wilsonns]

My strangest defence plan ever is the one that I'm working now, It's an Giant dwarven statue with a penis who ejaculates bone bolts(that's white)
Is my first porn defense megaproject

[numerobis]

My strangest, not strongest, was in Landsdiamond.  The goblin archers were able to walk up to a skylight into the tunnel that would guide them to their doom and shoot at my dwarves below still trying to place traps.  Once they were done with that, they walked up on the parapet walls around my main entrance and shot down into the courtyard as I pushed my dwarves to zergrush their axegoblins trying to get to the staircase to the dining room.

Despite that, the goblins lost and I only lost 85% of my dwarves, so hey, success!

[uttaku]

dropping kittens on them and then activating a thermonuclear catsoplosion

what i should have mentioned was the utter failure of this plan, you see what i hadn't noticed was that a couple of migrants had brought some cats with them thus when the goblins attack the situation went like this:
Goblins enter the desinated area and i drop the kittens onto them, and then save and start the catsoplosin.
Several cats in the main fortress combust at the same time.
total goblin casulties: 8
total dwarf casulties: 56, 20 something war dogs, my entire food and booze stockpile, the human traders currently in the fortress and my newly trained GCS.

Overall not the most successful plan ever...

[random51]

Damn, thats a complicated little dohickey... though if I'm looking right, you use bridges to shut off access, right? If so, you should plan something in case they bring building-destroyers.

Yep, drawbridges.  If they break the bridges it isn't going to get them inside, just means I'll have to carve out a couple fortification in an external wall and see how many it bolts it takes to change their mind.

[Peewee]

I had a water slide entrance trap once... It was designed to push any invaders down a ramp into a pit, but I couldn't get water to drain out of said pit fast enough.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

I think it was something about pouring magma and water on them to get fossils, or so I hoped.
Protip: When pouring magma on your porch, close the door.

[Frogwarrior]

wow yes screenshots or up load to the map archive. i wat to see this

Ask and ye shall receive.

Five pics made with 3Dwarf.
Spoiler'd for length.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

An overview of Ceilingmansion, what there is of it so far (I'm barely into Year 7 at the moment...)



The northeastern arm of the Ceilingmansion.

At the top you can see the 2 z-layer cistern under construction. Beneath that is a barracks room and a drowning chamber (not the same room... the drowning chamber is the section of the bottom floor that is NOT fortifications (the light-colored walls)).
Also visible in the distance are two pillboxes that have come in quite handy in sieges, the end of the north arm, and the current main entrance. That structure at the main entrance is full of traps and 20 chained war dogs.


The pump line for filling the northeast cistern.

There will eventually be a line of 25 pumps connecting the northeast cistern to the center of the map.


The barracks level of the north arm, with the cistern sliced off.

Note the columns in the middle to allow water to flow neatly from the cistern to the drowning chamber.


The north arm of Ceilingmansion (well, half of it...)

The distance from the support pillar (right side of picture) to the northern entrance (left side) is one-quarter of the full width of Ceilingmansion. When it is completed, there will be a ring around the entire outer edge of the mansion (for now, I'm working on the inner ring.) The east and west arms will stretch to as far as constructions can possibly be built on a 5-wide embark location (it's 5x7, so it doesn't work the same in the vertical direction).
With the sole exception of the drowning chambers, the entire first floor is and will be fortifications. Also, the entire aboveground part of the structure is made completely of blocks. (Chalk for the first floor, obsidian for the next two so far.) Eventually, there will be an immense dining room (with statue gardens on each arm) above the waterworks level (I'm thinking I might even put in a mist waterfall or four). Above THAT, will be residential areas, followed by nobles' quarters. At the very top will be the King's throne room.

ETA: Uploaded to the DFMA here. First floor of Ceilingmansion proper is level 19. But if you wanna look at the rest, you can see my n00bishness in its full glory!

[Tradanbattlan]

Perpetual Flinger Machine.

I have two bridges with linked pressure plates in a narrow hallway. When one is set off, one bridge will close and the other will open, throwing the victim and forcing them to take the other path. This would set off the other trap, making the cycle go on for infinity. They way the bridges are set will always have one open and one closed.
The invaders are juggled around like small animals while you have time to position your archers.
OPTIONAL: Put upward spikes in the center of your Perpetual Flinger Machine.

EDIT: Theoretically. I havent been getting Ambushes lately so I havent been able to test this.

[Gertack]

Two ways into fort, controlled by bridges.  Normal traffic and caravans go into one path, sieges into the other.  The siege path leads to a giant zig-zag room (by channeling the floor out) with one wall being fortifications and a bridge at both ends of the zig-zag room.  Once the entire siege gets into the room, I raise both room bridges (to prevent cowardly fleeing enemies from escaping) and rain a hail of bolts on them.  While we're making them into pincushions, normal traffic is free to come and go out the second entrance.