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[Angellus]

Hi, I'm looking for idiotic defense plans, preferably working and keeping the enemy out, preferably in a mean and bitchy way.

I am thinking about row's of bridges after eachother, letting the siege fall down just before they reach you, making them run up and over it again and again and again.
Or maybe a sole noble placed inside of a room, only when the orc's come in and slay him with their band of warriors they find out you were about to execute him with u-speartraps.

So get up and talking!

[Sysice]

A single war dog.

With [CAN_LEARN].

Goodbye siege.

[Funk]

a magma jet mixed with a water jet in the air to drop rock on there heads.

[Heliman]

An entrance studded with ramps to break crossbow fire. (Easy for a fort that hates using Xbows, or any weapon at all)

[XSI]

I've had a sea-side fort with a small entrance that was only accesible from the ocean side, it was 2z wide and if I didn't like what was walking over it, pumps right next to it would turn on and wash anything on the walkway off into a 4z level ocean.

Goblins can't swim in that.

[MC Dirty]

A brige maze. With pressure plates each changing a whole bunch of bridges. With a mix of weak and powerful traps. With war or wild animals running through the maze. With low-quality upright spears triggered by pressure plates in the maze or in my fortress. At the end of the maze there are of course some unavoidable powerful weapontraps.
It should divide the siege in smaller groups, kill them slowly, screw with their pathfinding and generate general lulz.

I've never actually done this, but it's about plans, isn't it?

[LegoLord]

Pressure plates that automatically dump magma on the enemy as they pass under the magma reservoir.   The reservoir refills and closes automatically.

And then a squad of champions stationed at the plates.

[MC Dirty]

<deleted>

[blah28722]

Sea of magma around my fort.

[Blaze]

Resetting pressure plates between 2 sets of bridges.
This actually does work, It even works on orcs sometimes (Since they ride on beak dogs which don't have [trAPAVOID]).

The best part it, if no one is standing on the pressure plate after the bridge goes off, it resets itself to its original configuration. If it doesn't I've also got a lever to reset it manually. Below it, there's a weave of cage traps, weapon traps, spikes, stonefall traps, and there are fortifications to shoot through should any survive.

I suppose the idiotic part is that I had to tear down most of the walls in my dwarf's rooms, so it leads directly into the center of the fort should any survive.

Of course, this is just a temporary measure until I can start cranking out War Beak Dogs.

[Jeff Carr]

Dogs!  In order to get into the killing zone facing my dwarves, the invading armies split into 3 groups, each having to make it through 2 rooms with 16 chained war dogs (or other animals) in each room.  Basically, if a siege breaks through, I've lost close to 96 war dogs. 

I have a massive breeding/bolt making program.  The best part is that the center 9 squares in each room is a floor grate refuse tower, open to the sky, so hauling corpses is pretty minimal.

[quintin522]

Goblin Ping Pong. I would hollow out a walkway with a large drop or build over a bottomless pit. Then set up a sideways bridge on the walkway, other bridges at intervals, and place pressure plates at strategic spots. Set jussst right, goblin squads will be on walkway bridge as it lifts, throwing them to the side where another bridge is right as that one lifts. And so on and so forth for as many z-levels you build of them. Though they tend to burst apart on the first serve 

[Ashmore]

What water level do large fish need? My new fort is in carp heaven, and I was thinking it would be nice to let my guests mingle at a soothing koi pond before the party starts...

[Dakk]

I think 3/4 is a good guess, it'll also allow your dwarves to perform normal tasks while training swimming, me thinks.

[Zerrer]

Idea 1
Cave-in. Dig out two levels the same size, build supports on the bottom level, and channel along the walls on the top level. If I'm seiged, then I pull the switch to get rid of the supports and send tons of rocks down on those pesky elves!
Idea 2
Underwater Base. Build a base as normal, and then build tall walls around and pump water in. When that's complete, then nothing will get in! BWAHAHAHAHA!