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Author Topic: Perez Hilton, a rant in one part  (Read 915 times)

Jackrabbit

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Perez Hilton, a rant in one part
« on: September 05, 2009, 04:36:56 am »

Yes, I've made a topic about him. Yes, I now feel like less of a human being. No, I don't think this will be a good thread, but dammit I need to say something about this... thing. Sorry, but I promise to lock this should it spiral out of control.

This rant contains swearwords. Don't read if you find this offensive. Oh sure, we often use them, but I figured I'd be polite about it. Heh. Polite.

Perez Hilton (whose name shall not be mentioned again) is, as you all know, an extremely successful troll, who, under the guise of delivering 'gossip', actively attempts to piss off everyone in Hollywood and all their fans. I do think that there's plenty of people in Hollywood who deserved to be pissed off, not to mention the fans, but -

actually, going to take time out here to say that I do not support trolling other sites (or this one), I do not wish for us to compare successful trolls or troll other websites and that this topic is purely to rage on the idiocy and just general poor workmanship of Mr. Perez. I've already been warned about talking about trolling other site, other site's you've trolled, trolling experiences you've had, and so I want to make it every clear that this topic is not about that. Moving on.

- There's people and fans that need to be taken down a peg, sure, but he does it so badly. Check out his site if you wish, I'm not linking it. He reads like an excitable 12 year old girl on facebook. He overuses on the exclamation marks, for some reason uses internet slang (u, OMFG, STFU) in his posts and, I shit you not, drew a poorly drawn phallus in the mouth of a person he didn't like. What? Who is this guy? He has really poorly MSpaint additions to most of his pictures as well, obviously to be 'edgy' and 'funny'. His style of writing leads me to believe that he honestly believes what he's writing, which is even more worrying. This person is some sort of unholy mix of the aforementioned girl  and a 14 year old who was kicked out of the SA forums for crappy attempts at trolling. It's obvious that whether or not he believes what he's writing, he's trying to get people riled up (like me, oh the irony) but he just goes about it so badly.

Take Maddox for example. He is a craftsman (admittedly debatable. But debatable elsewhere, this is not a topic about him) at the art of getting people pissed off. Plenty find him funny, but his works are so well put together in terms of audacity that you can't help but applaud (again, debatable) even if he just put down something you feel deeply about. This guy? He goes about annoying people childishly and haphazardly. I mean, a phallus? Really? It's just so... pathetic, it makes me want to scream. You could have pissed me off in so many ways! So many ways that would leave me thinking "he's an asshole, but he's a clever asshole." but instead you leave me feeling vaguely scuzzy, like I just watched a primary school production written by kids who still think poop jokes are funny. You are so bad at this I can't even laugh. It's terrible. It's sad. It's poorly done, and to be as popular as you are and yet so bad at what you do (I'm reminded of the times Paris Hilton tried to do... anything apart from copulate) is inexcusable. You could be so much! But you aren't.

tl;dr 'He' annoys me not because he's a troll, but because he's not a good troll.

Grade: F - Must try harder.
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Muz

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Re: Perez Hilton, a rant in one part
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2009, 06:56:52 am »

I've seen some decent attempts from him. There was this one good one, where 10% of comments commented on how good it was, and 60% of comments flamed him for making a lame joke. Now that was annoying. It was a good, funny parody of something from the 80s, but nobody got the reference.

I think that's why he's as he is.. it's what the fan base likes.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2009, 07:06:53 am by Muz »
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Disclaimer: Any sarcasm in my posts will not be mentioned as that would ruin the purpose. It is assumed that the reader is intelligent enough to tell the difference between what is sarcasm and what is not.

Jackrabbit

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Re: Perez Hilton, a rant in one part
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2009, 07:00:41 am »

Really? He went for the lowest common denominator? If you're right, the shred of respect I still hold for him... I can't finish that, I just don't respect him.
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