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[Jackrabbit]

You promised us writing and then failed to deliver. Even though you have a valid reason, this is Bay12, there's going to be nonsense. Your appearance will probably prevent more.

[Heron TSG]

I sure hope they don't like molasses!

hur.... hur?

[Jackrabbit]

Aaaaand now WD's going to fire you out a cannon. Pray it's only in the story.

[Heron TSG]

Too late, my Comedic Irony Cannon is malfunctioning, and therefore it will never fit in.

(rimshot?)

[Neruz]

You people have way too much time on your hands.

[WorkerDrone]

Finished.

I think it sucked.

[Jackrabbit]

It's pretty good. A few sentences don't make sense and you mix up your theres and wheres but I do that so I shouldn't complain. I laughed. Will you be doing guest updates?

[JoshuaFH]

There's some grammar things to be sorted out, and I don't exactly get the second to last paragraph with Sofia where you yell "PITY SEX...!?". I'm not sure what's happening...

Not sure if I want to know.

And I'm glad that I'm only around to sedate you WD.

[ToonyMan]

GENTLEMEN.

GEORGE WASHTON WAS A ROBOT.

[Heron TSG]

Should have gone in to more detail about the knife fights. 

[WorkerDrone]

The joke can be interpreted anyway you please, but really its more of a ridiculous joke I thought of when I played one to many hours of this one game I'm now addicted to. Mostly, the update was for ToonyMan.

Do it for The Toon.

[Duke 2.0]

 Nice first. I'll be glad to see the next 'oddly shaped' update.

 And what green men? I just see hastily scrawled people on those photos.

[JoshuaFH]

Do you mind if I write a little story as well?

[Jackrabbit]

Mah question, ah asked first, ah say, ah asked first.

[Aqizzar]

I don't know what's actually going yet.  I need plot!  And I like the 1960's style exposition, like the story itself is a character that knows it's being read.  Takes me back.

Spoiler: Real writing criticisms (click to show/hide)

The style and nature of the writing is all well and good.  I thought the heavy-handed explanation of the theory behind everything was a little much, but like I said it reminds me of an older style of writing.  Although a little subtlety wouldn't hurt either.  Mostly though, it just has the marks of being written too fast, missed or repeated words and funky constructions like-

"While A gleefully basks in the drama acting as if he had not intended for this tortured hairbrain idiocy he spawned was not his fault in the first place."

It sounds like you were writing one sentence, and then it turned into another sentence halfway through.