Regaining her composure, Sofia peered into the mechanical face of the companion with intrigue.
"So... these things, can like, do stuff?"
"Yeah, they can do all sorts of stuff. They've been used for lifting things, cleaning, helping the disabled, and some of the best programmed act as chauffeurs. They can pretty much be made to do anything that follows clear rules, but any elements of randomness can throw them off pretty hard."
"They aren't that great, I saw a spoiled brat just the other day that had one of these, and it kept falling over."
"That was probably a Dummy, those are usually pretty bad at everything."
"Dummy?"
"Oh, that's lingo for the types that are mass produced, and come in boxes. They're more poorly made, and are generally only good at following, smiling, and holding broken conversations, and sometimes not even that."
"Is that so..."
Then an odd quiet settled between them. She looked at the companion ever more closely, and slowly, an absolutely devilish look overtook her features as an unhealthy grin seized her face. Duke peered into the room nervously.
"Don't cause any trouble in there Sofia, these things DO look expensive!"
"Don't worry, I'm not causing noone any trouble!"
Duke's eyes nearly roll at the irony of the double negative, and he grows impatient.
"Well, get out of there, we need to go anyhow!"
"Hold up..." as the smile on her face stretches even wider, "I think I might have found myself a new toy... Hey, eh, Joshua was it?"
"...Yes?"
"These things can be made to do anything right?"
"Well, not anything, but it depends on what you're talking about."
The look in her eyes becomes even more menacing, as though hinting at something devious.
"And they can be made to look however I want right?"
"Well..." Joshua suddenly getting nervous, "yes, we do custom models. It's just more expensive, and you'll have have to wait until we finish, which might take a fair while."
Without even responding, she walks out of the backroom, satisfied with his answers, and takes to examining the front room models again. Duke approaches her trepidatiously, sensing her obviously impure intentions escalating.
"What are you up to Sofia?"
"Oh, you'll see Duke... you'll see."
and with that she sets her focus to a brown-haired male model, made up to look like a preppy guy. Reaching out to touch his hair, Josh behind the counter is quick to interrupt her.
"Miss, what'd I say about touching the models!"
"Oh, sorry. It's just that, all I've seen of these 'companions' as you call them, is that thing spraying the the other one in the back, and he wouldn't even talk to me. How do I know these are as good as you say they are, can you give me demonstration? Like, for instance, with this one?" Referring to the preppy companion.
"Of course, these are all functioning models that I've worked on myself."
Getting out from behind the counter, and stands in front of the companion.
"Companion 510 Brian, exit sleep mode. Assume regular full companion mode."
And with that, the slightly glossed over eyes blink, and attain a more human shine. It steps away from it's spot on the wall, and after fully acknowledging the existence of his owner, he notices both Duke and Sofia.
"Hello Joshua, how are you today? May I ask who your friends are?"
"I'm terrific Brian. This is Duke and Sofia."
"Yes, hello Duke and Sofia, it's a great honor of mine to meet you."
"Duke and Sofia would like to talk to you for a little bit, would you please conversate with them as they please?"
"Why yes, of course!"
Duke appreciates the simulated sentiment, but is more worried about what Sofia might do. Sofia approaches the companion, squaring up with it, and making eye contact. In accordance with it's programming, it makes eye contact back, and gives a soft smile.
Several moments pass, Sofia scrutinizing it's unchanging expression. The companion, continuing to blink and simulate breathing, single mindedly continues staring back, allowing Sofia to start the conversation. However, when some more moments pass, it's instructions informs it that eye contact this long means that it's being addressed, and that it should ask accordingly.
"Is there anything I can help you with Duke?"
"Duke?!"
Joshua, very fast to mend his mistake, jumps into the conversation.
"No Brian! That is Sofia, and this is Duke!"
"My humblest apologies Sofia."
"You should be sorry, don't mix me up with an old fogy like him!"
"Mr. Joshua said you would like to conversate with me?"
"Uh, yeah, what's it like being a robot?"
"It's very nice."
"Do you know things?"
"I have encyclopedic knowledge."
"Of what?"
"Of the Encyclopedia Brittanica."
"So you're a know-it-all!"
"If you would like to put it that way."
"Tell me about the weather!"
"Weather where?"
"Where here!"
"It's sunny, with light clouds, and a zero chance of precipitation."
"No, it's raining right now!"
The companion, taken back by this, immediately wirelessly connects it's digital brain to 8 more sources of weather watching on the internet, and collects that what Sofia is telling him is a lie, however, his programming forbids him from disagreeing with her, making the entire effort moot.
"Of course, Ms. Sofia."
"Ha! You don't know-it-all after all!"
"I guess you're right."
"How do I turn you off? I'm done talking to your dumb face!"
"It was a pleasure talking to you."
Joshua, internally offended that one of his creations is treated so harshly, is even more worried that he might lose a potential customer. Every one counts afterall!
"Did you not like him Ms. Sofia?"
"He's alright."
"This one's a bit older than the others. Wonderfully made, in my opinion, but has some interesting glitches with it's AI, and how it perceives the world."
"You're telling me!"
"Well, these are simply limitations on the hardware at the time, the newer ones are a bit better."
Once again, she ignores him, preferring to go deep into thought. Duke finally confronts her.
"Alright Sofia! You've played around for long enough! I'm not sure what you're intending, but it'll have to wait. We're late afterall!"
"Shut the hell up! I'm thinking!"
Some more moments pass, and she finally reaches her conclusion.
"So, you can make these look however you want?" Addresing Joshua this time.
"Of course."
Rummaging through her pocket, Sofia picks out a photo and hands it to him.
"I want my companion to look exactly like that!"
Joshua looks at the photo, and is completely dumbfounded. He takes a close look at it, electing to hold it up to his face, holding it sideways, taking it to his counter, and holding it under a light, and then a magnifying glass. He calls in a filipino woman with the nametag "Vester" from the backroom and has her look at it, who also elects to hold it to her face, under a light, and then a magnifying glass.
They move to a computer, where they quickly jot in some details, and they furiously analyze the picture in the time frame of only a minute or so. Then after consulting with the computer, they can only shake their heads as they approach Sofia with the results.
"Sorry Ms. Sofia, I can't do this."
"Why not?! I have money!"
"Well, the squinty eyes, the broad shoulders, and the muscular physique, these are all possible. However, this... this... Chin! it's much too large!"
"And what's wrong with it?"
"Well, for one, nobody makes chins this big! I'd have to make it myself, but neglecting that entirely, it'd give the head an odd center of gravity."
"So?"
"Well, it may not seem like much, but the companions rely on a little gyroscopes in tandem with special programming to keep themselves balanced, they're called gyrobalancers. It's just that, frankly, with the center of gravity this chin would have, there isn't a gyrobalancer in the world that would allow it to walk. It may seem insignificant, but that's reality. Plus, while stubble is possible, nobody makes green stubble. I'd have to call in the factory where artificial hair is made to special order it."
Seeing her request crushed by the heel of practicality, Sofia shrugs her shoulders, and takes the photo back.
"Oh well, let's go Duke." she says, while playfully pulling an imaginary leash as she walks out the door.
"Sorry for any trouble we may have caused you." affirms Duke as he follows her, and they both disappear into the crowded sidewalk.
"How unusual..." thinks Josh as he ponders what the hell just happened, or what the hell that woman had planned for the companion she wanted.
"Brian, stand at position 11, facing away from the wall, and enter hibernation mode."
"Yes Mr. Joshua" as he returns to his original spot against the wall. Joshua returns his seat behind the counter, takes out the chest frame he had been working on, and flicks his soldering gun back on.
"Who were those people?" Vester asked meekly.
"Just some eccentrics" answered Josh, not really knowing himself.
They never came back, but that was just business as usual for Joshua's Retail Robotic Companions.
I hoped you liked it, I thought it was sort of flat. Plus, I didn't bother to proofread it, so it's probably ridden with grammatical errors.
Also, absolutely awesome picture Vester.
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Topic: Ridiculous Tales of Bay Twelvery (Read 29527 times)