ATTENTION: We have run out of space on the first page. Page 20 shall hold all of our other stories until it too runs out of space. At that time I will use another page. Will continually keep the updates page by page in the OP, so you can navigate with ease.http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=41406.msg751733#msg751733For all intents and purposes, this is here to make sure I don't back out of this Ridiculous venture, but also so I can build hype until tomorrow afternoon, where I'll have time to finally get all of these notes and ideas down onto...well not paper. But into actual text.
This will be a series of quirky stories that basically show you a pseudo-Gamer's hangout. In spaaaaaaace. More specifically, Bay 12, and how I perceive all of you, while also entertaining you with random events that satire how affairs are carried out in fluid conversations, most of which will poke fun at the idiotic random fads that stick around for god knows how long.
All of these short stories will be stand alone. There is no connection between which happens in another, and they will all proceed just as naturally as every single eventual derail and rerail that occurs on the board. Most will attempt at being clever, usually with me stopping mid comment and present a situation that is wholly unlikely, hilarious, and of course, Ridiculous.
The order of events will usually follow this course.
Presentation of the 'characters' > Equal presentation of an argument, discussion, or event, taking place in a first hand experience, displaying the satirical 'Bay Twelve', which for all intents and purposes, is a writer's canvas > a satirical commentary will follow suit, and almost always during this commentary, it will immediately break away to a sudden event that is designed to induce convulsions of overstatement and laughter. > Then breaking back into the same commentary as before as if uninterrupted, finishing the story. Take it as you will, this is a rather not so serious attempt to entertain you all. I already have two planned out, with a third on the dry-dock. I'll keep making them as I please, whenever I have time or inspiration. All of the short stories shall be presented in similar format as Jackrabbit. Without further delay;
Tales:
There is no smell like the smell of syrup roast and fried kitten. It is both revoltingly disgusting and repellent in its manner of sweetness. There is no fouler gruel to be served, and in space, no one could hear you gag. Besides the eight or so thousand other people crammed into the same 'lounge' as you. Aqizzar began his brunch by dumping every last bit on top of ToonyMan's own tray, which he happily poked at with a fork. Resting a foot on the bench across from himself, and taking a bite out of a peperoni stick, squinting across the room a the commotion being caused as the daily knife fights started off. Mildly interested when WorkerDrone shoved a file into his face, he frowned, half swatting and half grabbing it. "What the..."
Its hardly a wonder as why so many spurious arguments present themselves when it also presented the opportune moment to see if your most wildest scheme was a plausible way to garner the attention you so craved. Bay Watcher A lurks in the darkness, and pounces upon B, C, and D. B and C argue just what idea was set forth and what it implicates, while D immediately hops on the bandwagon, assuming it as the appropriate response. C is swayed soon after with B sticking to his doubts, eventually drawing in E, F, G and H, all of which immediately break into a massive fist fight to see who happens to be right. While A gleefully basks in the drama acting as if he had not intended for this tortured hairbrain idiocy he spawned was not his fault in the first place.
Vester, Cthulhu, Jackrabbit, Duke 2.0, ChaoticJosh, and WorkerDrone sat together at a table, all taking random seats and picking up conversation where appropriate. Jackrabbit and WorkerDrone immediately began to discuss how a stand up fight would be so much more irrelevant if magma really was always the answer, and how the cupcakes served were actually muffins. Vester and Cthulhu giggled inanely at drawings of 'creative' Pokemon, whilst Duke poked his head past their shoulders pointing out that they were just 'oddly shaped', not at all inappropriate. ChaoticJosh was just there to sedate WorkerDrone if he got out of hand. ToonyMan slyly sneaked past Josh, brushed past Jackrabbit and his piles of chicken scratched notes that best not be described, and leaped up onto the table.
"Gentleladies." He tapped a thumb to his forehead. "There is a simple solution to all your problems. What we need to do is tear up those images of Lincoln in front of his Cabin, replace the cabin with a family of druids, and super impose images of Green Men in random places in the background! Give Lincoln an axe, and its all obvious!"
"What's obvious?" They all said collectively. ToonyMan gives that oh so charming grin yet again, attempting to sell it as if it all made sense. "The green men! Haven't you seen them?" Duke and Vester looked at the pictures, and then at the Toon. "Holy shit. Where did all of these Abe pictures come from!?" Duke exclaimed. Vester looked at Cthulhu, who merely shrugged and said "Uh oh?" Jackrabbit nodded sagely. Three Bay Watchers, having overheard their conversations, we're hoisting awfully redrawn pictures of famous events and places, with short green men dotted around the background, in crowds and in shadows. They hadn't even heard the wild explanation given shortly beforehand, simply assuming since all the "cool people" were talking about it, it must be the next big thing. The Toon had already vanished sooner than he came, his evil deed done, whilst thirteen new images had already been made in poor imitation.
When one begins to jump, the others ask why that one jumped, while others agree that there must be a good reason, with an odd number saying it was simply a twitch. A random assortment of of the lazy or misguided, or simply equally evasive immediately begin to jump around aswell, without further prompting from the one who had first jumped. Its as if a fried treat had just be tasted and thirty people at once immediately wanted more, and wanted to make the treat themselves. So most do just that, or settle for someone else doing it for them. Its an insane road where either you are idiotic, or crave the idiotic for the sake of a uproarious exchange with others, or simply to see what kind of creative inanity spawns from the mouths of others. The more that jump on the insanity wagon, the stronger it becomes, until it wears its own wheels down, forcing it to either be replaced, or abandoned in search of another ride.
WorkerDrone snatched the file back, and then, in anger, threw it down onto the table for all to see. The mortifying images only served to rouse the same fury that WorkerDrone had entered with. Aqizzar whistled. "Those can't be real." WorkerDrone snorted. "Oh their real..." He turned around at the sound of that voice. His fists clenched, and smoke rising from his nostrils.
A wave of nausea rose when she saw that smug grin from across the room. Buried in a crowd of idiots for target practice or debauchery infected comrades, she hoped to ignore the bile in her throat. He wouldn't say anything, she had found the cameras...and the artists...and the ninjas rifling through her clothes. Oh the bloodletting. She even made sure to burn the it all together! At least...she think she did. It got hazy after the third tranquilizer. A loud smack filled the air of the lounge as a tome hit Sofia in the back of the head. In a guttural voice, WorkerDrone shoved aside at least fifteen people whilst shouting rage conducing words. "PITY SEX...!?" Sofia turned heel, catching half a four letter word in her mouth when a fist flew into her face.
When the wagons begin to fall apart, its only eventual that the brightly mischievous began to make replacements. And its is equally eventual that Holy War shall break out in order to discern the simply question as to whether or not it really is just another bumpy ride.
The ride's always to be bumpy.
Many moons ago, at the dawn of… September, if memory serves, a great war was waged. People, Gods and annoying 40k enthusiasts fought for control over a scrap of land, devoid of resources, fast becoming harsh and inhospitable. This was known as the war of independence by some who had smoked to much and still believed that they actually wielded any power, whatsoever, at all.
It was also known as the battle of Various Nonsense, the Nonsense wars and “That thing where a bunch of guys pretended to be a nation and dicked around”.
As you can probably tell, it was an epic occurrence.
It began, as many things do, with something happening.
In this time the forums were an Oligarchy, with the power concentrated in the hands of the Toad and the… sloth? The name Threetoe suggests so. And there was widespread despair at their tyranny, and the taxes they levied and the widespread oppression.
Actually, there were none of these things. The forums were a pretty cool place, and had been so since their creation. But history must have people who wish it were otherwise, and humanity must have people who love a spectacle. And so Inaluct travelled to the dwindling board known as Various Nonsense, and he took it for his own. Presumably because he thought it would be funny.
Transcript of the hostile takeover of the board follows, recorded on the day by an unnamed correspondent.
Inaluct- “Where should we do this? This epic feat, this colossal attempt to overthrow a tyrannical power, a – “
Unknown- “Here?”
Inaluct- “Yeah, alright.’
Chilling stuff. The annexation of the board of Various Nonsense did not go unnoticed. As mentioned, people love a spectacle. Dozens flocked to join the new nation, abandoning their comfy homes in search of fame and recognition. Some, a few, achieved this. Workerdrone, Inaluct, and several others, including some guy with a boot who’s name was never recorded. He looked like an idiot anyway.
Two days after the separation of Various Nonsense from the Toady Domain, the new nation had grown to colossal proportions. Attempted border skirmishes with the Toady Domain proved unsuccessful. They were not strong enough to challenge him. Yet, for all that, Toady was benevolent and allowed the micro-nation to exist. And exist it did, and ever prosper, providing your definition for prosper is broader than the length of the Golden Gate Bridge.
A baron was elected, Aqizzar, who rose from being known and respected by everyone to being known and respected by everyone except now he had a really cool hat. Oh, and people waged war in his name, even though he didn’t ask them to.
Several factions arose. The God Armok attempted to gain control of the boards, Inaluct and Woose1 both constructed mobile battle fortresses from grit, spit and a whole lot of tired memes, the Baron’s ‘minions’ fought for him against his will and some really annoying dorks decided that pretending to be races from warhammer 40k and godmodding would turn them into comedic geniuses in the eyes of the populace, who promptly spat on them and went back to fighting.
At last, as the battles reached their peak and inhuman, illegal weapons of soft core pornography, irritating lolcat pyramids and some obnoxious smiley were unleashed, and one of the battlefortresses accidentally crashed smack into the Toady Domain Toady looked in and boomed:
“Uh, what are you guys doing in here? I’m trying to work.”
And the fighting stopped and everyone looked kind of embarrassed totally forgetting why they were there in the first place. Then Inaluct remembered and cried out:
“We are here to create a separate nation from yours, free from tyranny!” and people shuffled away from him and tried not to make eye contact.
And Toady said:
“What? Tyranny? What, exactly, have you been doing in here anyway? Look, just go home.”
And everyone did, mumbling apologies, flushing red, except for Aqizzar, who strode out of there, head held high, thanking God or whoever was up there that he didn’t have to deal his people waging war for no reason without his consent.
A Various Nonsense was trapped in a time lock created by the Toad, before disappearing forever.
And thus peace was reached and a war started for no apparent reason finished as Various Nonsense fell with an almighty PPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbt.
And Toady told Inaluct to pull his socks up and stop with this kind of nonsense.
And he did.
"No, it's not my fault!" I yelled, trying to make it very clear to the rabbity creature sitting across from me that I am not going to be blamed for this.
We were sitting at a smallish table, in the command room of that big flying saucer palace thing that prior to the interference of that rabbit-thing could have been called a home.
"If it's not your fault, then whose fault is it? Not mine, I wasn't anywhere near that giant glowy thing." he said, toying with a figurine on the table.
"It was the power core. It had at least three dozen warning signs on it!" I yelled, trying to make it clear that one of us had done something very, very stupid, and it wasn't me.
"Say, weren't you supposed to be monitoring the power core, making sure nothing like that happened? You even told me that you had to concentrate on it entirely." He pointed out, the signs of boredom not leaving his face, even for a moment.
"Bu.. I.... Erm-" I tried to explain, before he interjected with: "In fact, you said the same thing for everything that went wrong".
"Bru- uh.." He had me, I was supposed to have been watching everything, instead I had been distracted by an intriguing new usage of the cables that were trailing out of the back of my skull. Theoretically, they were supposed to connect me to the mainframe of the house, to allow for better monitoring and control. That had gone out the window the moment I had discovered that you could use these to access the internet.
"What?" He inquired, and I realized that I would either have to think of something, or tell him the truth. I gathered my considerable wits, and began to think of something. But I failed to think of anything, and I had to tell the truth or distract him somehow.
I looked around the room. To my back there was a wall, unremarkable save for the only door out. To my left and my right were the massive banks of consoles that in better times would have a mass of Martian citizens sitting in front of them. They curved inward, meeting up in front of me. They had a great window above them, cracked in places, and broken in others. I briefly considered trying to escape through it, but I still had scars from the last time I tried to escape through that window.
I had no choice. "Gah, I was using my cords to surf the internet." A rather simple way of putting it, that revealed nothing of what I was actually doing while being truthful. It was so sad that he had to ruin it by saying "What were you looking at that cou- oh."
So he still blamed me and I still blamed him, but that didn't do anything to change the facts of our predicament. A while passed before he asked "How much of this thing is missing?"
So I responded with "The entire rear section, including my bedroom, my computer banks, my collection of death rays and the ice maker. Not that it matters now, as once Aqizzar wakes up and sees what has happened, he'll have us executed! Or worse, given to Sofia."
We both shuddered at the thought. Once again, I looked at the window, and it suddenly occurred to me that exiting through it would be a terrible, terrible idea, as the gravity processor is located right in front of it, and the crash had made it somewhat less then stable. Having nothing else I could do, I asked him "How long do you think we have until he wakes up?"
"Maybe an hour, probably more knowing our luck. Tell me, why did you think that a lockdown that locks all doors and can only be turned off from the outside was a good idea?" He answered.
"It's not my fault that around the time I was programming it I discovered that these could access the internet." I said, indicating the cords that were not connected to anything in particular at the moment. With that, neither of us could think of anything to say for quite a while, until I spoke again, asking "Just how many dollars in damage do you think the crash did to his house?"
"Well, from what I could see and hear, it was probably at least half a billion, and that's if nothing else went wrong" He guessed.
"Ooooh crap. Why is his house so very expensive?" I said, with my hand over my eyes in an ancient gesture of worship to a little-known god of screw-ups whose name is lost in the mists of time.
"Well, he is the baron, after all." He responded, still sounding rather unconcerned with the consequences that were going to come down upon our heads soon. There was a reason for this, as I would discover much later to my anger and annoyance, but for now it made no sense.
As neither of us could think of anything to say, and the control room was sorely lacking in anything to do, I slept. This turned out to be a very bad idea, as I had been neglecting my sleep for a very long while. I slept through Aqizzar waking up, I slept through him hauling us off, I slept through the trial, the sentencing too, only waking up at the worst possible time in the worst possible place: Sofia's dungeon, right after she had been unable to get something she had wanted.
You see, I was sentenced to spend a week stuck with Sofia, with her being able to do anything that did not actually kill me. Right now it is important to note two things about cyborgs: 1. Viruses can do terrible, horrible things to them, and they don't usually leave any *Physical* damage, and 2. The implants have a terrible problem with them: removing them suddenly causes a burst of unimaginable agony. She had a lot of stress that week, and as I result I now no longer have memory of it, which is probably for the best. Well, at least it could have been worse, I don't know how, but it could have been worse.
The End.
On the corner of Sixth Street and Main, two streets reserved almost exclusively for the commercial outlets craved by naive spendthrifts and floaty bints, a small, musty looking shop sits. "Joshua's Retail Robotic Companions" embossed across the entrance in white letters, and life-like mannequin figures rest in pleasing poses in the window.
Gazing, very curiously at the human-figures in the window were one blonde hair woman with a evil look in her eye, and greying older gentleman trying his damndest to keep her in line. After some very evident (as the shopkeeps that do business across the street can attest to) whining and ostracizing, the woman successfully drags the gentleman into the store. Immediately surprised by the loud zaps and sparks emanating from the counter, they see a man lifts his head upon hearing the jingle of the front door being opened. "Oh, hey! How are you? I'm Joshua, the owner of this establishment." he says as he flicks off his soldering gun, and reaches out to shake the young lady's hand, only to be completely ignored. The lady, completely beside herself, stood in awe of the row of completely, and painstakingly realistic human automatons that stood in a row along the walls.
Not one to let a warm welcome go unappreciated, the grey gentleman quickly approached and shook Joshua's hand in the lady's stead. "Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you. My name's Duke, and this is Sofia. She's suddenly become interested in a Robotic Companion, you see..." the man said in an apologetic tone. "Ah!" Joshua says, turning his back to the heap of metal and silicone sitting on the counter, "I was just finishing up the chest frame of a recent order, can you tell me what kind of companion she'd like?", "Well, I'm not sure exactly, but perhaps..." "Hey Lady! Don't touch the merchandise!" Joshua quickly interrupted, and Duke turned to Sofia, only to see her running her hand down the bosom of one of the more attractive female companions.
Quickly pulling her hand away from the companion, Duke shows clear frustration with his accomplice "Sofia, don't do that!" "But she's so pretty! I couldn't help myself!" Joshua interjects, "Miss, please refrain from touching any of the companions. These are all custom models, and are quite expensive." Sofia restrains herself, only to quickly give the lineup of robots a more thorough look once free again.
The expressions which ranged from mopish to cheerful, the way the hair was held and styled, the placement of the features, and the way they stood, there was no way an item could be made to be this human-like and get away with it. "So, these are robots heh?", addressing the proprietor directly this time. "Yep, why in fact.." "No, that can't be right. Are you sure these aren't all real people you hired to just stand real still in your store?" "Amazing, isn't it? The latest models of robotic companions are made to be as realistic as possible, to be completely indistinguishable from real people." "Then how do I know YOU'RE not a robot!?" "The companions are life-like Miss, but they're not sophisticated enough to..." He had let his guard down for an instant, but that was all it took for Sofia to grab the owner's arm and squeeze with an unusual amount of strength for a woman. "Ah! What are you doing!" "Seeing if you're a robot!"
At this point, Duke was very quick to grab Sofia's wrist, and wrest her normally implacable grip from the man's arm. "Now now Sofie, we don't want this to be a repeat of the clothing store..." turning towards Joshua, "I'm very sorry, she doesn't think sometimes." "Oh, it's no problem..." pretending that that didn't hurt, "the companions do tend to offput people that see them for the first time." "Alright Sofie, now that you've gotten a closer look at the..." And Sofia was nowhere to be seen, as she had made her way deeper into the store, to look at a male model that was receiving it's finishing touches by another employee. "Wow, they're so amazing. They feel just like real people too, if you don't squeeze too hard and feel the metal inside."
The employee, however, ignores her opinion on the matter, and continues gently applying the paint to give the synthetic skin a more appealing tone. "I heard they can move around just like real people too! I think that one celebrity... eh... Ricardo whats-his-face has one. Looks like a real girl too!" Once again, the employee ignores her completely, as he diligently continues his job. "Hey, listen to me why don't ya!"
And as she reaches out to pester him, her hand is snatched by Joshua. "Alright, now THAT'S a companion!" "What!?" "Yeah, let me show you." And with a tap on his shoulders, he stops his job immediately, and then with a flick of a hidden switch behind the ears, carefully hidden seams reveal themselves, and his face opens up, showing the very not human wires and circuitry that lies underneath! Sofia nearly stumbles backwards in astonishment. "I've programmed this one to do custom toning and shading on the synthetic skin, which is very tedious and difficult to do by hand."
Regaining her composure, Sofia peered into the mechanical face of the companion with intrigue."So... these things, can like, do stuff?""Yeah, they can do all sorts of stuff. They've been used for lifting things, cleaning, helping the disabled, and some of the best programmed act as chauffeurs. They can pretty much be made to do anything that follows clear rules, but any elements of randomness can throw them off pretty hard."
"They aren't that great, I saw a spoiled brat just the other day that had one of these, and it kept falling over.""That was probably a Dummy, those are usually pretty bad at everything.""Dummy?""Oh, that's lingo for the types that are mass produced, and come in boxes. They're more poorly made, and are generally only good at following, smiling, and holding broken conversations, and sometimes not even that." "Is that so..."
Then an odd quiet settled between them. She looked at the companion ever more closely, and slowly, an absolutely devilish look overtook her features as an unhealthy grin seized her face. Duke peered into the room nervously."Don't cause any trouble in there Sofia, these things DO look expensive!""Don't worry, I'm not causing noone any trouble!"Duke's eyes nearly roll at the irony of the double negative, and he grows impatient."Well, get out of there, we need to go anyhow!"
"Hold up..." as the smile on her face stretches even wider, "I think I might have found myself a new toy... Hey, eh, Joshua was it?""...Yes?" "These things can be made to do anything right?" "Well, not anything, but it depends on what you're talking about."The look in her eyes becomes even more menacing, as though hinting at something devious."And they can be made to look however I want right?""Well..." Joshua suddenly getting nervous, "Yes, we do custom models. It's just more expensive, and you'll have have to wait until we finish, which might take a fair while."
Without even responding, she walks out of the backroom, satisfied with his answers, and takes to examining the front room models again. Duke approaches her trepidatiously, sensing her obviously impure intentions escalating."What are you up to Sofia?""Oh, you'll see Duke... you'll see."and with that she sets her focus to a brown-haired male model, made up to look like a preppy guy. Reaching out to touch his hair, Josh behind the counter is quick to interrupt her."Miss, what'd I say about touching the models!" "Oh, sorry. It's just that, all I've seen of these 'companions' as you call them, is that thing spraying the the other one in the back, and he wouldn't even talk to me. How do I know these are as good as you say they are, can you give me demonstration? Like, for instance, with this one?" Referring to the preppy companion."Of course, these are all functioning models that I've worked on myself."Getting out from behind the counter, and stands in front of the companion."Companion 510 Brian, exit sleep mode. Assume regular full companion mode." And with that, the slightly glossed over eyes blink, and attain a more human shine. It steps away from it's spot on the wall, and after fully acknowledging the existence of his owner, he notices both Duke and Sofia.
"Hello Joshua, how are you today? May I ask who your friends are?" "I'm terrific Brian. This is Duke and Sofia.""Yes, hello Duke and Sofia, it's a great honor of mine to meet you." "Duke and Sofia would like to talk to you for a little bit, would you please conversate with them as they please?" "Why yes, of course!" Duke appreciates the simulated sentiment, but is more worried about what Sofia might do. Sofia approaches the companion, squaring up with it, and making eye contact. In accordance with it's programming, it makes eye contact back, and gives a soft smile.
Several moments pass, Sofia scrutinizing it's unchanging expression. The companion, continuing to blink and simulate breathing, single mindedly continues staring back, allowing Sofia to start the conversation. However, when some more moments pass, it's instructions informs it that eye contact this long means that it's being addressed, and that it should ask accordingly."Is there anything I can help you with Duke?""Duke?!"Joshua, very fast to mend his mistake, jumps into the conversation. "No Brian! That is Sofia, and this is Duke!" "My humblest apologies Sofia." "You should be sorry, don't mix me up with an old fogy like him!""Mr. Joshua said you would like to conversate with me?" "Uh, yeah, what's it like being a robot?" "It's very nice." "Do you know things?""I have encyclopedic knowledge." "Of what?" "Of the Encyclopedia Brittanica." "So you're a know-it-all!" "If you would like to put it that way." "Tell me about the weather!" "Weather where?" "Where?! Here!" "It's sunny, with light clouds, and a zero chance of precipitation." "No, it's raining right now!" The companion, taken back by this, immediately wirelessly connects it's digital brain to 8 more sources of weather watching on the internet, and collects that what Sofia is telling him is a lie, however, his programming forbids him from disagreeing with her, making the entire effort moot. "Of course, Ms. Sofia." "Ha! You don't know-it-all after all!" "I guess you're right." "How do I turn you off? I'm done talking to your dumb face!""It was a pleasure talking to you."
Joshua, internally offended that one of his creations is treated so harshly, is even more worried that he might lose a potential customer. Every one counts afterall!"Did you not like him Ms. Sofia?""He's alright.""This one's a bit older than the others. Wonderfully made, in my opinion, but has some interesting glitches with it's AI, and how it perceives the world.""You're telling me!""Well, these are simply limitations on the hardware at the time, the newer ones are a bit better."Once again, she ignores him, preferring to go deep into thought. Duke finally confronts her."Alright Sofia! You've played around for long enough! I'm not sure what you're intending, but it'll have to wait. We're late afterall!""Shut the hell up! I'm thinking!"Some more moments pass, and she finally reaches her conclusion."So, you can make these look however you want?" Addresing Joshua this time."Of course."
Rummaging through her pocket, Sofia picks out a photo and hands it to him."I want my companion to look exactly like that!" Joshua looks at the photo, and is completely dumbfounded. He takes a close look at it, electing to hold it up to his face, holding it sideways, taking it to his counter, and holding it under a light, and then a magnifying glass. He calls in a filipino woman with the nametag "Vester" from the backroom and has her look at it, who also elects to hold it to her face, under a light, and then a magnifying glass.They move to a computer, where they quickly jot in some details, and they furiously analyze the picture in the time frame of only a minute or so. Then after consulting with the computer, they can only shake their heads as they approach Sofia with the results.
"Sorry Ms. Sofia, I can't do this.""Why not?! I have money!" "Well, the squinty eyes, the broad shoulders, and the muscular physique, these are all possible. However, this... this... Chin! it's much too large!""And what's wrong with it?""Well, for one, nobody makes chins this big! I'd have to make it myself, but neglecting that entirely, it'd give the head an odd center of gravity.""So?""Well, it may not seem like much, but the companions rely on a little gyroscopes in tandem with special programming to keep themselves balanced, they're called gyrobalancers. It's just that, frankly, with the center of gravity this chin would have, there isn't a gyrobalancer in the world that would allow it to walk. It may seem insignificant, but that's reality. Plus, while stubble is possible, nobody makes green stubble. I'd have to call in the factory where artificial hair is made to special order it."
Seeing her request crushed by the heel of practicality, Sofia shrugs her shoulders, and takes the photo back."Oh well, let's go Duke." she says, while playfully pulling an imaginary leash as she walks out the door."Sorry for any trouble we may have caused you." affirms Duke as he follows her, and they both disappear into the crowded sidewalk."How unusual..." thinks Josh as he ponders what the hell just happened, or what the hell that woman had planned for the companion she wanted."Brian, stand at position 11, facing away from the wall, and enter hibernation mode.""Yes Mr. Joshua" as he returns to his original spot against the wall. Joshua returns his seat behind the counter, takes out the chest frame he had been working on, and flicks his soldering gun back on."Who were those people?" Vester asked meekly."Just some eccentrics" answered Josh, not really knowing himself.They never came back, but that was just business as usual for Joshua's Retail Robotic Companions.
(There's really only one rule, except for having a similar Stand Alone format as mine, though nonsense and ridiculousity is not required. There will be no two parts, only one part to each story, so everything goes together. You want two spoilered stories? Make a second story. TNME's just looked like the most completed, besides Jackrabbit's. )
Art by Vester:
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Topic: Ridiculous Tales of Bay Twelvery (Read 29467 times)