Real men eat live vermin!
Anyway, I hope Aqizzar comes and saves this thread. I'm sure he does something manly every day.
Oh good lord. You want me to talk about what manly bullshit I may have done today? Alright, lemme summon up my inner George Thorogood and give you a run-through of my typical schedule.
The day starts at about 8:30 PM, when my four alarmclocks rouse me to action. I scratch my giant unshaven beard and immediately plan out my next twenty fours down to the minute. I have a dinner/breakfast of smoked sausage and beans, eaten from the pan they were cooked in, washed down with instant coffee, while I catch up on the day with the rerun of Keith Olbermann.
Then I pull on my steeltoes, reflective vest, and Teamsters' Union shirt (Local 767
re pre zent) to get ready for work. Transportation: 1986 Jeep CJ-7, a smoking, growling, iron beast that hates me as much as I it. Arrive at work in 120 degree heat, and spend several hours manhandling hundred pound crates in and out of trucks. Drenched in sweat with another fifty dollars earned, I climb back in The Pig, and head home, tearing through downtown Dallas at 4 in the morning, Stevie Ray Vaughn blasting from the working speaker as my magnificent mane of hair blows in the wind.
The next few hours go by playing manly games like Liberal Crime Squad, reading manly books like
Snow Crash, listening to manly music like Blackfoot and manly stand-up comedy like Doug Stanhope. Oh and posting and reading crap online of course. I'd never forget you guys.
Later, more coffee is consumed, and it's off to the university, where I stumble into class covered in axle grease from beating The Pig back into submission. Classes are slept through, when not otherwise spent pointedly reminding professors of the extent of corporate lobbying funds, or the violence of the American Indian rights movement, or the Jewish stereotypes of Nosferatu imagery. Free time is spent either cussing out the bursar/parking/bookstore office or plotting my inevitable revenge against them.
Then it's the long grueling drive home, deftly dodging patrol cars so I don't get ticketed for The Pig being uninspectable. Again. And still. Finally home, I convince my bail bondsman that I still haven't broken any more laws, slam down a Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger and a Guinness, and it's back in bed to catch four hours of sleep before doing it all over.
If Aqizzar showed us a picture of his bedroom and he had rainbow bedsheets and a My Little Pony collection on his headboard it would be the manliest room we ever saw.
Because you dared to mention it and I love talking about myself-
Have fun finding whatever you want. Ironically, my desk actually has a couple dolls on it. However, those dolls are a Barack Obama action figure, and a life-size beanbag Knuckles the Echidna. So even my plushies are manly.
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Topic: What's the manliest thing you've done today? (Read 7420 times)