Here's The Write-up of what happened on my turn. (military? Orcs? PSH!!! I used the military for taking out goblins and wildlife. I didn't DARE charge the orcs. Not without armor)
Part 1: Nahkh
"What.... is this?" Asked the middle-aged dwarf as he walked towards the hole in the ground soon to be called home. He tilted his head at it, frowning and pondering. He'd seen it for the past few miles as they made their way here, And he had been impressed. But something about it had been off, and he finally knew what as he stepped up closer to it.
"Ah, that's our tower Sir." Came the young mechanics reply. The middle-aged dwarf had forgotten the Mechanics name. He'd probably just call him Urist. Half the dwarves around here where called that anyway. It'd be fine.
"Yes... I know. What I meant was.... Why is it made out of Beds?" The middle aged dwarf clairifed.
"BEDS!? Is that all you think of when you see a log of wood! What kind of Simpleton Dwarves do I have to deal with around here!?" Came word from behind the new dwarf.
"I'll have you know that I'm the new overseer of this outpost." Came the reply, turning to meet whomever this crazy looking dwarf was. He was covered in vomit... in fact, still vomitting. He was also a tad muddy in spots.
The dwarf ignored the Overseer's reply. "It's called Wood! I know you think it's only good for beds and windmills, but I am smarter than that! I always knew that it could be turned into buildings. And look!!! what a magnificent Structure! You! There! Put that bit over on that si....." He wandered off.
"Who was that?" Asked the Overseer of the Mechanic. "Oh, that's just our Architect, Nahkh!"
"..." Silence. "Nahkh? He's... he's a Nahkh!? JEESUS!!!" The overseer looked about, suddenly terrified. "Grab those mechanisms over there boy!! Slap some on those matchsticks supporting that thing, and lets go find a lever. QUICK!"
"I don't understand. Wh"
"Haven't you heard of Nahkh!? Do you KNOW what happens to a fortress with a Nahkh? It's doom! With that thing broadcasting that he's here, who KNOWS what will show up!!!"
"well there have been more orcs around than usual lately.. but Nahkh says..."
"FORGET Nahkh!! I'm the overseer!!! Now MOVE!"
The Mechanic moved. The Middle aged dwarf sighed.
"We're doomed..."
Part 2: Orcs.
"Sir Overseer!!! ORCS!!!!" Came the cry from the mechanic as they topped the horizon. I groaned. I had just arrived here not the day before, and just gotten settled in. Things where not looking good.
For one, food production was a mess. We barely had enough booze supplies, and plants where scarce as well, despite having more farm plots than I've seen in a fortress in years. On top of that, our production and stockpile areas where nowhere near one another, our trade depot was on the other side of the fortress, and We had a giant room that consisted of NOTHING but staircases. I watched a dwarf spend a whole day trying to step through the thing. It felt like time itself slowed. On top of that, our entrance wasn't defended at all, save for 3 cage traps put out about 10 yards from our entrance. I was surprised we'd caught as many animals as we had. I wasn't so surprised that we didn't have anywhere to store them, or anything to do with them. We didn't have enough beds, everyone was running around making blocks and building the tower instead of doing real work, someone had told the masons to make as many coffins as they possibly could, and to top it all off, there was that Giant tombstone of a Tower sitting out in front of our fortress. I'd gotten it wired for demolition, but couldn't convince Nahkh to let the other dwarves off the thing long enough to pull the button. I wasn't about to let that thing kill more people than it already would.
I stood by the entrance and shouted out above me. "EVERYBODY!!! INSIDE!!! NOW!!!! THE ORCS ARE COMING!!" Dutifully, they all quit what they where doing, ran down the stairs, and took off away from the door as fast as possible. It took the Orcs showing up, their fearful faces painted, screaching as they smelled fresh pray, to get the workers, and Nahkh, back inside. I pulled the drawbridge shut personally as I watched them jump and cahoot, just out of reach from their pray. They pointed at the tower.
Nahkh beemed "Even Orcs can appreciate my work."
I glanced at him, and smiled. "Since you've stopped directing work for the moment, why don't you head downstairs and sleep a little. It'll make you feel better. I'll wake you up when the orcs leave. Promise."
He smiled "Why thankyou overseer! I shall do that!" And he wandered off to the depths. I took aside one of our guards "Follow him and make sure he doesn't come back up here will you? thanks." As they both stepped off into the darkest depths of the fortress, unable to see the sky, or any constructions that rivled it, I eyed the orcs as they sat under the tower.
"If he finds out... We're all deaddwarves..." I mumbled as I pulled the lever.
Part 3: Geese
"Where's Nahkh?" I asked.
"He's downstairs in his room, working on the plans for the new entrance you asked for. He said he had a really grand idea about an aquifer and a"
"yes yes... that's nice. So long as he stays down there and away from the fortre... where's The other guy?
"Other guy?" asked the Dwarf? He was decked out in blue, as per the usual of the Craftdwarves around here. But he held a nametag sticking to him, carefully carved out of wood. It read "Brewer" I'd made them start wearing tags relating to what job they where actively pursuing. It made my life easier.
"The mechanic.... Urist something or other?"
"We don't have any mechanics Named Urist. Did you me"
"Yea, him. Where is he?"
"I believe he's out retrieving the items off of the orc corpses you cru"
"OVERSSER! OVERSEER! COME QUICK!! It's Horrible!!!" Another dwarf came running up. This one wore the teal of a peasant. I'd have to find a job for him sooner or later, before the tax Collector Showed up.
"Oh what now!?" I asked angrily. "Geese sir!! They're attacking!!!"
"geese!?"
Indeed, it seemed geese had spooked most of the dwarves outside working on the recovery of the orc gear for trade. I sat there watching geese and dwarves run around in combined terror. Then I noticed something that made me want to cry. Urist... or whatever his name was.... Saw a goose and turned, screaming in terror. He than ran 10 feet, striaght into the mouth of a Giant Anaconda!!! I was shocked. So was the Anaconda as it took his life. A Second dwarf, our Weaver, let out a shriek. "IT'S A GOOSE!!!" He shouted, apparently to the Anaconda, before also leaping into his mouth. He was subsequently struck down.
I immediately mobilized our Military.
Hopefully they would know better than to be afraid of geese. I looked up at the now unmolested sky. I was apparently too late. They where all cracking. This was going to be a tough job.
Part 3.5 : Carp
At this point our squad leader and legendary wreslter slaughtered about 10 geese, 5 peasents, before leaping into the river to slay another 3-5 large fish. His last kill came as he was missing a leg, had red wounds on his other 4 limbs, his upper body, and his head. His neck was yellow, as where most of his internal organs. His cause of death? He Drowned. This was the only Carp related Dwarf Death. "Chase opponent" and "harrasses dangerous wildlife" Do not mix when dealing with large fish.
Part 4: Magma!?
"I've found warm stone Overseer! I ceased digging immediately and came to inform you!" Came the miners report. I looked at him curiously. "I.... Congratulations? I'm curious, we have over 7000 rocks lying around in this fortress, as a matter of fact, I saw 4 of them sitting on your bed this morning. Why where you digging, again?"
"Nahkh's orders sir! You signed off on them too. The Trade Tunnel And It's Applications As A Shower Curtain project?"
"OH!" Indeed... I had signed such orders. It did not matter what he created. I must keep him underground.
Nahkh's where famous for their insanity. I did not know what would happen, but I did not want it aimed at me. After having meeting with the dwarf a few times, and listening to his plans, seeing his designs, I knew that if he turned that cunning ingenuity towards my demise, it mattered not where I ran, what I did, my death would come. I had probably saved the fortress by removing that... thing... whatever it was, or would have become. A roost for Zombie Carp, mayhap. Zombie orcs, maybe. Dragons, who knows. But still, something told me he would not see it this way.
"well dig on, get the thing excavated" I said.
"Erhm... sir... The warm stone sugges"
"MAGMA!!!" Came a most unwelcome voice from the doorway, as Nahkh rushed into my office. "We've found it! I knew it was here somewhere!! Of course, it's in the way of my power plant for the Shower Curtain, but no matter, I'm sure we can fill it with magma instead of water an."
"Wait wait wait, Fill WHAT with magma?"
"why.. the fortress of course!"
"No."
"but"
"NO!! I'm not having you flood the fortress with magma! It's too dangerous!!!"
"Dangerous!? HAH! You, good sir, are no architect! I could design something easy! Something Spectacular! Somethin"
"I think..." came a timid voice from the hallway. It was another peasent. He walked over to Nahkh. "I think what he meant was it'd be too easy. I mean, the pipe is right there, it's almost no challenge. Getting water out from a magma pipe, however, and using that...That will TRUELY showcase your talents as an architect, will it not?"
"Yes... Ooooh.... I'd have to... And then I'd..." Nahkh wandered off. I motioned for the Miner to follow him, and to execute whatever non-magma plans he came up with. The peasent turned to follow, but I put my hand on his shoulder. "How'd you like a career?"
"Oh.. I have one! I haul rocks underneath a drawbridge! and then I pull the lever, and they go crunch! Except... we ran out of rocks where we where. Now we have to carry them from very far away. It's not as much fun."
I grinned. "Well.. it takes a skilled mechanic to construct one of those collapsing bridges. I'll tell you what, why don't you give it a shot? From this day on you're a mechanic Urist!"
"erhm... my name isn't Uri"
"Off you go lad! Make some mechanisms while you're at it."
Part 5: Applied Physics
"I said it's finished! I've run tests and everything! Now, We must return to work on the tower!" Nahkh was being pushy, and I wasn't sure if I could keep him back from going outside.
"I'm telling you Nahkh, you can'" "ORCS!!!"
"You can't, there are orcs outside" I said in a rush, deflating in relief. Problem solved.
"Orcs Shmorks. I'll show you how to deal with those!! He stepped over and pulled a Lever. I blinked, and turned to The newly appionted mechanic next to me.
"You set that up right? What does it go to?'
He turned and pointed to the large floodgates that where opening up into the ceilng. "It's the floodgates that work access to the outisde. It keeps the orcs frmo getting in here from the trade tu"
I ducked as an arrow came flying through the gap into the Mechanics open mouth. I turned to scream at Nahkh to close the door, but he already had, the floodgates closing before the bow-orc could fire another shot. Giddy, he stepped over and pulled another lever.
"Gooooooodbye orcs!!!" He bellowed.
"GRAH!" The orc bellowed. This X Rock had dropped into his path, seperating him from his pray. No matter, he could go back the other way. He pointed and bellowed, and his squad set off down the ramp, and then up 2 others. They where almost to the 3rd ramp and daylight when they noticed their feet where wet. Odd, to have water here, they hadn't noticed it on their way in. And what was that rumbling noise...
Suddenly, they where faced with water. they looked around, unsure what to do. It got higher, to their ankles, their waste, before they realized what was happening, they turned, and ran down the ramp to safty before the area they where in became unbreathable. But the same thing happened again. One or two orcs who had not made it down the ramp floated there in waste deep water on the edge of the ramps leading down. They where fine. The other orcs continued to fall back, before climbing back up the ramps on the other side. The water below filled up... and then stopped. The orcs sighed. Thank goodness for air-pressure.
The other orcs grinned at one another, before noticing that the water was rising again. They where the first to die from drowning.
The orc leader scratched his head, trying to puzzle at a solution, staring at the pool of water at his feet. Suiddenly, just as quickly as it'd started, Water began rising up underneath them. He snarled a warning, and ran. And ran, till they arrived at the doors. They clawed at them, they howled at them. They scratched at them. But the water came.
I sat there, staring at the floodgates. All I could hear was squealing, the terrified shrieks of orcs just on the other side. I'd never heard anything like it.
And eventually... I heard it no longer. The only noise being the sound of the plumbing taking effect, draining the next room of water. The floodgates opened to reveal the waterlogged corpses of more orcs than I could count. I turned to Nahkh, who was admiring his handywork.
"Is there some way to make it... deadlier? So we don't hear the screaming? That was...."
"wonderful wasn't it!? The screaming's the best part! What would we possibly want to add!?"
"I don't know, spikes!! Clubs!!! AXES!!! MAGMA!! I dont' care! Capture Attack Fish or something like that! Just... make the screaming stop!!!"
"Capture... fish?" Came Nahkh's response? His eyes adopted a misty look, as he turned and rushed off to his desk to begin penning whatever design he'd come up with.
I sighed, I'd avoided 2 problems, the orcs, and the tower. Now if only I could get that shrieking out of my mind...
Part 6: The Tower
I sighed as I sat at my desk. It'd been a long haul.
2 migrants had arrived... not at the same time.. one after the other. It appears that each autumn the orcs came before the caravan, thus preventing the Mountain homes from knowing if we're even alive, much less whether or not to send the unwanted's this direction. One of them was a dungeon master though, who proved invaluble in training our animals. We lost several dwarves to goblin ambushes, and a few went insane after claiming a workshop for a few months. Mostly children. I've kept a close eye on booze production to see if Nahkh has been slipping some drugs into the booze supply, but have seen nothing. So it must have just been his influence alone that warps reality so. A shame, I could have used more hands. The fortress is littered with debris everywhere, and without more dwarfpower, it will never get cleared. We sucsessfully destoryed the room full of stairs, although it has left us with a large open space of naught but stone which we haven't the faintest clue what to do with. Also, a strange physics anomoly, 5 downward ramps, without upward ramps, simply floating in mid air. I thought it best not to ask. I would like to develop our cloth or metalmaking industries, but I lack the dwarfpower for one, and would have to embark upon a large mining mission for the other. And I cannot in good mind suggest we partake in mining out more rock.
I shook my head as I stepped into the small wet room. Those problems would have to wait till later, I was here to see Nahkh's latest crazy feat. Some kind of room which would capture the fish outside, allowing our Dungeon master to tame them and turn them against the orcs. I approved of the idea, but didn't see how it would work. Leave it to a madman.
"Nahkh does good work" Urist II said. At least I called him Urist II. After our last misshap leaveing us with no skilled mechanics, I had to take 2 other dwarves and assign them to the task. One was currently in bed, after suffering a nasty wound to the leg at the hands of a goblin ambush. I made a mental note to myself never to wear red. It seemed to invite more trouble than it was worth.
"I agree. Good Work Nahk...." I turned.
"Where's Nahkh?"
"WHEERE, IS, MY, FUCKING, TOWER!!?"
Afterword:
I took the trade tunnel. The old entrance, despite being less secure, has always been preffered by dwarves because it's faster. I ran. I ran as fast as I could. I never looked back. I will never look back. I dare not return to the mountain home either. For there, he might find me one day. No.
I threw my clothes off as I ran. I had to run, far away from Nahkh and the madness he could cause. I'd only stayed there a ltitle, and I'd seen more than enough of my share of maddness. I made sure to say a few magic words. It would sound incoherent to most people, but I knew it was an incantation to make me run faster. Maybe I could go stay with the Humans. Would the people of this fortress think to look for me there? I hope not. Of course, who knew. They where mad. They might even go and check with the elves! I thanked Amork for the spell that would see me safely away from this place. I'd learned it from one of the Plump helmets back in the fortress. Who would have guessed they could talk?
Overseer Kurisu- The last Sane Dwarf of SparkGear
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