Annual fort-report, by Galstaff PuzzlingChannels.
By the nine asses of Armok, this fort has a most serious problem.
ALCOHOL. WHY IS THERE NO ALCOHOL.
I swear, I can't even remember the last time I felt the sweet embrace of my beloved ale.
I feel SOBER now, and the effects are hitting me something fierce. The dwarven women are looking taller and less hairy, and my job of smoothing walls has become an effort in futility. I needs my ale. And Fast.
I see out problem! 4 planters to one brewer.
That's one heck of a bad ratio.
I ordered I bar to be cut out of the walls adjacent to the rooms.
Dammit, when a Dwarf is thirsty, he shouldn't have to go out of earshot of his house~!
What a predicament.
No wood for barrels.
No wood for forges.
No magma for forges.
No booze for us?
Ah, some Idiort put FOOD into BARRELS.
And It is all Plump Helmets.
You can call it a cake, but all it is is a mushroom cap.
*sigh*
Ach, here the booze be brewin'
Soon the fort will be wrapped in the sta- WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MOVING OUR ONE BARREL INTO A STOCKPILE.
DON'T STOW THE DIMPLE CUPS IN THAT BARREL.
WE HAVE ENOUGH OF THOSE
Now who the hell designated a stupid-large amount of stairs be made.
THERE IS SO MUCH STONE THAT TIME IS SLOWING.
WHOEVER DID THAT DESERVES A SLAP.
The only answer is to make a FUCKING TOWER.
Thob the wrestler gets the first sip of delicious wine. Lucky bastard.
Solon the guard shot out offspring while fighting her mates.
Musta been quite a hard punch.
SIEGE LEFT; SIEGE-TOWER TIME.
Aw shit, the insane metalsmith fell in our water supply.
How'm I going to explain that to the kids
HOW DO I FISH THIS GUY OUT DAMMIT!
Why the hell are geese hostile.
THESE GEESE ARE COOKED HURR. (By that I mean 30 champions down the throat.
Child went fey. HERE COMES A FANCY LEATHER EARRING
Collecting wood for the future shortages. Aye, tis a hard life.
Nevermind the geese, that one was just pissy.
All the army did was vomit and shoot the breeze.
Truly respectable men.
A child is holding a party in the diner.
Anyone who goes gets punched.
Cog the guard had a child!
By co-relation, guards must spend lots of time in the sack.
Two months->two births!
Some migrants have arrived!
They will be used as fodder for making my tower.
Towermen are referred to as towersmiths, however little smithing their lives may handle.
There is this thing hanging on the cliff of the mountain.
I shall call it the skyway.
Currently the towersmiths are finishing the sky-way.
HOORAH FOR THE SKYWAY!
Two more babies were born to some champions this time.
That child I mentioned who went fey?
Forgot, and he's crazy.
Whoops.
A goose tried to scare one of the towersmiths.
SO HE BROKE IT'S ANKLE.
Supercrazyknockoutsmoke banged up a miner pretty bad, but not to fear, Nahkh just banned mining.
Huzzah?
Hit fall.
Orcs might come a knocking, so tower-prep area is being fortified.
Tried to trade, but the prissy dwarf who ran the operation didn't like the Idea of being bargained with.
Argh, I broke my face on a tree.
I give reign of this fortress over to the next bidder.
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