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[kholhaus]

Your name is Stanislaus Alexander. It's so obvious now!

To celebrate, you do an irish jig on the corpse of the Horror to stomp it into dust. You then burn the remaining pieces and then pee on them.

You feel Exhilerated! (+1 to all)

[Akigagak]

You forgot to set fire to them again.

[kholhaus]

NO.

you try to relight the remains, but alas, they are ashes!

[Akigagak]

 

Oh well.

>Find some other zombie to horrifically mutilate.

[major_sephiroth]

> Find Male zombie
> Kick in balls
> Kick in balls again
> Rip balls off
(If the zombie dies)
> Pee on the balls
> Set balls on fire
(If the zombie doesn't die)
> Smash zombie in face with own balls, do this until it has no head, or dies.

[kholhaus]

You Immateur ingrates, Why I oughta...

You walk down the street in search of Male Zombificus Sphericus, or, the common Zombie balls, to beat a zombie to death with.

The Horrible sights make you vomit, several body parts are scattered around the area. Bullet holes everywhere, smashed windows, corpses bisected at the waist, it's a slaughterhouse. No Zombies are alive or visible. you have a bad omen about this place. You glance over your shoulder, fearing the worst. Just then, you hear someone shout.

[Archangel]

"Don'tshootdon'tshootI'mnotazombie!" Dive for the ground.

[kilakan]

I second the plea for our lives.

[kholhaus]

THROWING yourself to the ground while wailing like a baby 'ohmygoddon'tshootnottazombieohgoddon'tshootdon'tshootdonnononononononononononono!'

'Eh? What the bugger are you doing? Pick yersel' up and get ovah heah! There's zombehs aboot!'

You look up and see an old man waving from a barricaded clothing store. You are relieved to see another live person!
Walking towards it, you notice the old man is of European-make.  The old man unlocks the many bolts on the steel door and lets you in. Inside there's other people as well. A Buisnessman, A wounded guy, and the old man himself.
'Did they bite'chah?'

[Akigagak]

Lie -> No

[kilakan]

I agree, lie and say we fell on some scrap metal, then use a bit of the medicine to get the meat.. er ah wounded civilian back on his feet. so he can be ripped to shreds for us.

[kholhaus]

[7-1] 'No, They didn't bite me. I just fell on some scrap metal while running from some shamblers.' You point out to the wounded guy. 'What'd he do?' 'Ach, what a coincidence boyo, he fell on scrap metal Too!' The old man goes to sit on a chair in the middle of the store. 'So, mind telling me about yer adventures?'

[Akigagak]

'I recently killed this freaky zombie, then completely destroyed the remains.

You could probably fit whats left in a grocery bag'

[kholhaus]

'Y-you offed a Satan's Wraith? Holay shit. When we ran intae one, it killed half our groop!' You wave off the praise. 'It was nothing. Now, let me help this guy over here. I know some first-aid.' [3-2] The injured man has a bleeding chest, it's almost completely torn open. You fear he may not live long, even with your basic med-skills. [8-3] You decide to give him some painkillers and Ibuprofen so he doesn't have to suffer. It doesn't seem to do much. 'I'm sorry, you won't live.' The man looked horrified, and then went limp. [4-2] You close his eyes and talk to the older man for a bit, telling him of your endeavours. You then hear choking and gurgling. You look behind you. The seriously damaged guy has turned!

[Akigagak]

FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE!