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[kholhaus]

You turn on your Generi-Console. The screen goes black, and then blares to life with intro music. The menu fades into view. The background consists of a faceless character shooting off hordes of the shambling masses, with explosions in the back-background. An impaled eye is in the foreground.

There are 5 exits:
NEW GAME
continue
SETTINGS
CREDITS
FRANK

You grasp your controller tightly. What to do?

[Jack_Bread]

Go CREDITS

[Rashilul]

Go to settings and turn off zombies.

[Vlynndar]

First credits. Maybe we'll get free play credit.

[Sensei]

Go FRANK.

If he's wearing a plaid sports jacket, though, you fail.

[kholhaus]

Go FRANK.

If he's wearing a plaid sports jacket, though, you fail.

You move the blinking cursor to the words FRANK, and press confirm.

A picture of a man in a butcher's outfit with many stains and a butcher knife in pixelated form appears before you. He gives you a long winded speech about hotdogs and their manufacturing. Near the end, he tells you "Now stop wasting time and play damn the game already!"

The menu reappears, and you have gained 1 plus in boredom resistance!

You also decide to turn off zombies, because they are so drab.
So you go into settings and find that there are no such options.
Options are:

How many Zombies? - ENOUGH.
How tough should they be? - Generic.
Zombie Bait - ENOUGH.
Should the government be involved? - YES.
Government's way of keeping the zombies down? -  Police, those cheap bastards.
How much useful things should be scattered about? - As much as a real apocalypse.
Difficulty curve - DWARF FORTRESS!
How much reality should take place? - Really Real.
Should you be able to be infected? - YES.
Should there be a way to cure the infection? - Of course.

EDIT'd, request of Squeegy.

[Vlynndar]

Difficulty curve: Dwarf Fortress.

[kholhaus]

You lean forward and trip, falling on a button on your controller, and suddenly, the game highlights a hidden option: "Dwarf Fortress". It is marked higher than "I don't know what's going on!".

Difficulty curve has become unchangeable, for some odd reason.

[Jetsquirrel]

> go to menu and continue

[kholhaus]

You decide to exit to the menu. All settings are medium, except for, of course, Difficulty curve.

You move the blinking cursor to 'continue', and confirm. The game starts, when all of a sudden, someone hits you on the back of the head!


~~~~~~~

You wake up in a small empty apartment, and to the smell of a grandmother's farts. It's very dim. You guess it is morning. Beside you is a gun with a full clip (7), and two extra clips. There is a door, a window, and a bathroom door. Your head is aching and you have no idea why you're here or who you are.

What do you do?

[Jetsquirrel]

>Run and scream like a little girl in circles

[kilakan]

>Take the gun and the extra clips, equip gun, ready gun, check bathroom for medical supplies.

[kholhaus]

You pick up the gun, and holster it in your pocket. You pick up the extra clips and slide them in the other. You walk towards the bathroom door, you reach and then, hear a low moan. You freeze. You then Run and scream like a little girl in circles, not even bothering to fire at the zombie hacking through the bathroom door. What are you, retarded?

What do you do?

[Rashilul]

Run and scream like a little girl while firing wildly.

[Kashyyk]

Run and scream like a little girl while firing wildly at the Zombie

Fix'd