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Author Topic: The Captain's Log- Spiritwood  (Read 61690 times)

Tack

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #45 on: September 10, 2009, 02:11:12 am »

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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Cirius

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #46 on: September 10, 2009, 03:23:48 am »

Within several days, the caravan had staggered itself over a mile of road. The rattling of its many wheels, and the footfalls and conversations of the soldiers and traders permeated the surrounding area for miles around. With so many carts spread over such a wide area, the military dwarves were concerned with the possibility of an ambush. Every few minutes, the front of the vast convoy would slow to a crawl and allow the other wagons to slowly bunch up. A distant observer with a few hours to kill would see a giant concertina effect, as the few dozen wagons separated gradually over time, before bunching back together again.

   A fluffy wambler noisily bumbled to itself as it buried its nose in the berry bushes that lined the side of the road. Its priorities were limited to the tasty purple berries that even now it was fuzzling, so it barely looked up as the long caravan clattered past, its wheels churning up the road, leaving a trail of mud in its wake. The voices it overheard meant nothing to it, so it understood nothing of the various conversations drifting past its furry ears.

“I don’t care what you say Vucar, but there’s no way those elves are just going to sit back on their haunches as we cut the spiritwood out from under them!”

“…Blasted elves come near me with their bows, and I’ll have their legs off…”

“…‘You’re not taking my wagons,’ I said, ‘they’re my wagons, and I’ll defend them to the death if I have to.’”

“…Nganuz be damned, any more of these cobbles and my entire load will be bruised.”

“…giant boat? I thought we were heading to market?”

Aboard the lead cart, Kubluk was deep in conversation with Othtar about the possible threats of their journey. Othtar was counting them off on his hands, and quickly running out of fingers.

“Then there’s the undead of course, always the undead. Turn your back for five minutes and they’ll take a bite clean out of you. I remember ol’ Grendel. A deadite took a bite out of his arm, it got infected, and he took five days to die. He fought every second of it. Then he rose up, and fought for another week against us. Took a dozen of us to finally put him to rest, gods bless his scattered chunks.”

Kubluk nodded, his complexion a faint shade of green under his beard. Othtar saw his pallor, and slapped him on the back. “Don’t you be worried Kubluk, the Courageous Bolt has your back on this one.”

“It’s not my back that I’m worried about. Do you honestly think we have a chance against all of that?”

“There’s always a chance. I’ve always thought that it’s less about the destination, and more about the journey itself. I’m just happy to feel the wind in my beard.”

Dirulal pointed to the north, where the road stretched to an almost infinite point ahead of them. “If it’s a journey you’re after,” he said, “then you’ve chosen the right road to follow.”

“Don’t you be worried,” Othtar assured them both. “We’ll get you there, if it’s the last thing we do.”
Logged
Arch-Bishop Cirius started at the ringing of the bell, which signalled the arrival of a pilgrim with a problem to throw at him. It was always a problem. Nobody ever came to say the hymns with him... Or say happy birthday.

Welcome to Spiritwood

Tack

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #47 on: September 10, 2009, 04:16:37 am »

Mmm, nice... well, not the eaten by zombies stuff. The humanity of kubluk... Are you going to release another one tonight?

Also... cmon, plz put the quote in your sig... otherwise I won't be able to run around shouting "I got quoted in a sig!!"

*I meant to use the word humanity. Dwarvanity would see him go "that's interesting" before butchering a kitten and looting the body of a kobold to sell its loincloth to a human caravan for everything of use*
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Cirius

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #48 on: September 10, 2009, 04:51:11 am »

You forget, Dwarves vomit at the drop of a hat. In the hat. And then someone will see the vomit, and the cycle will repeat. Thus is the will of Armok.
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Arch-Bishop Cirius started at the ringing of the bell, which signalled the arrival of a pilgrim with a problem to throw at him. It was always a problem. Nobody ever came to say the hymns with him... Or say happy birthday.

Welcome to Spiritwood

Tack

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #49 on: September 10, 2009, 05:04:00 am »

praise be to armok. Also be to armok,
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Anyway, they don't wear hats. they wear caps, and helms. Though it is almost guaranteed that any dwarf seen in fortress mode will have blood or vomit on them.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Outcast Orange

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #50 on: September 11, 2009, 06:13:43 pm »

Amazing inspired stuff!
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[7:53:55 PM] Armok, why did you demand that I don't eat you?
[7:54:34 PM] [Armok]: woooooo

Burried Houses - Platform Explorer Demo H - Cloud Scream

ousire

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #51 on: September 12, 2009, 01:09:27 am »

i like how that my very first appearence in this story is me prepairing explosives to blow the elve's poncey arses up.

but what i cant decide is wether the barrels might be to have exploding balista arrows, or if im just gonna fire the barrels out of the catapults and hope they explode when they hit. (definiatly the more dwarfy of the two atleast, but a bit more dangerous with something as delicate as a boat)
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Tack

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #52 on: September 12, 2009, 01:59:19 am »

It's DF. It's rum. He just lied to the captain so he wouldn't drink it all. They need that for explosiving.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Grendus

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #53 on: September 12, 2009, 10:20:42 am »

i like how that my very first appearence in this story is me prepairing explosives to blow the elve's poncey arses up.

but what i cant decide is wether the barrels might be to have exploding balista arrows, or if im just gonna fire the barrels out of the catapults and hope they explode when they hit. (definiatly the more dwarfy of the two atleast, but a bit more dangerous with something as delicate as a boat)

Dwarf molotov cocktails. These aren't the pansy mafia, dwarves light kegs on fire and launch them hundreds of yards to ignite whole neighborhoods forests.
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A quick guide to surviving your first few days in CataclysmDDA:
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=121194.msg4796325;topicseen#msg4796325

Tack

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #54 on: September 12, 2009, 08:57:14 pm »

Some ideas for your boat-fortress.

Idashkogan Sombith Dak
"Moistboats the executioner of trees"

Idashkogan Agak Uthgur
"Moistboats the anus of demons"

Mostly - Suffixes.

Gar Uthgur
"Destroyers of demons"

Gostangtinad
"The awe-inspiring stunt"

This is remarkably fun!
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Cirius

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #55 on: September 14, 2009, 03:02:47 am »

Othtar is a somewhat devious bastard, and has a cunning plan. Ousire and his barrels are a large and important part of that plan, and will eventually come into effect. Until then, I'm going to annoy you all by dropping subtle hints every now and then about them.

Apologies for the lack of update, I've been away from home for a few days. Day off today, so should have something for you later.
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Arch-Bishop Cirius started at the ringing of the bell, which signalled the arrival of a pilgrim with a problem to throw at him. It was always a problem. Nobody ever came to say the hymns with him... Or say happy birthday.

Welcome to Spiritwood

Tack

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #56 on: September 14, 2009, 03:14:20 am »

woo?
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Cirius

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #57 on: September 14, 2009, 03:48:59 am »

With a horribly damp noise, the lead caravan dropped almost a foot into the road, spraying mud into the air. Kubluk spluttered, and wiped the terribly smelling liquid from his face. Othtar laughed, and passed him a rag from his pack.

“Welcome to the Wrackpit swamps!” he bellowed. “You’ll be happy to hear we’ve over thirty miles of this quagmire.” Kubluk frowned, and looked ahead of them, where the fields surrounding the mountain home gave way to acres of rushes, muddy pools and swarming insects.

“Stay alert,” Othtar warned. “These swamps are home to all manner of beasts. A swamp is truly no place for a dwarf.” He barked an order to the nearest soldier, who scampered off to warn the others to prepare for an ambush.

Progress was agonisingly slow, as foot by muddy foot the caravan advanced slowly into the swamplands. Their advance was made even worse by repeated forced halts as yet another wagon lost its road way and dropped a wheel into a hidden rut. Every few seconds, Kubluk swatted angrily at the humming insects that had found something of intense interest in his beard.

“Try and ignore them,” Othtar advised. “You’ll never get them all.”

Legon was leading the convoy by about fifty paces, his eyes carefully scanning the road ahead for any threats. His combat experience made him ideal for scouting, and it was a task he enjoyed. Humming to himself, he strolled onwards.

Suddenly, he dropped to a crouch. He raised an arm, and the convoy behind him slowly clattered to a halt. At least, most of it did. From far back down the line, the sound of crunching wood and angry shouts signalled one or two carts were a little too slow to respond.

Othtar joined him after a few moments at a crouching run, keeping low in fear of elven bows.

“What is it?” he asked, scanning the road ahead.

Legon nodded to the swamp either side of the road. “I saw movement in the waters. Could just be nothing, but this is swamp beast territory.”

Othtar nodded. “Then we best go check it out,” he stated, rose to his feet, and called over Teach.

“Any trouble, you know what to do,” he commented, as they strolled almost casually in the direction of the threat.

“Kill it?” Legon chuckled.

“Aye.” Othtar turned and walked back towards the wagons, shouting for the officers of the other divisions to ready their men for an ambush.

Teach dropped to his knees, and lowered his ear to the ground. Legon stood motionless, scanning the ditches to either side of them, acting as a pair of eyes for the sightless dwarf.

“Blasted swamp,” Teach muttered. “I can hear something, but the ground’s too damp to get a clear direction. There’s more than one of them as well. I’m thinking twenty, maybe thirty of them.”

Legon nodded slowly, his confidence in Teach’s abilities without question. He lifted an arm, and another ten soldiers of the Courageous Bolt joined them within moments.

He slid his axe deftly from his back, and without giving an order, the other dwarves did the same. Teach tucked his cane into his pack, and replaced it with his rusted blade. “So, do we parley?” he asked.

Legon stepped forward from the group, and cleared his throat. “Listen here,” he shouted. There’s two ways this can go down. Either you show yourselves, and join us for some rum, or we go in there and drag you out by the teeth. Your ambush has already failed, so either you come out and fight us, or bugger off.”

He swung his axe down in a sweeping circle, and buried its head in the muddy ground in front of him. He stood back, almost casually, and folded his arms.

Almost a minute passed. The entire caravan stood in a deathly silence, as they waited for a response. Suddenly, with a damp slither, a creature reared itself from the swamp. It stood as tall as a dwarf, its wet leathery skin glistening in the sunlight, holding a crude spear in what passed for its arms. It surveyed Legon with a pair of cold, dark eyes.

Legon stared back.

A saliva-filled orifice in its face opened, and the beast spoke. “These are our lands,” it slithered, its voice as damp and sickening as its very flesh. “Your lives will be forfit.”

The marshes to either side of the caravan bubbled, and dozens more slugmen rose from the waters, they were soon surrounded by several dozen of the sinister looking beasts.

Back on the lead wagon, Othtar spat down into the mud, and reached for the axe that was neatly stored behind him. “Slugmen,” he muttered. “Disgusting beasts.”

Kubluk gulped. “Are they a threat?”

Othtar looked at him with faint amusement, then returned his axe to the pile. He leant back, folded his cloak behind his head to act as a pillow, and closed his eyes. Within moments, he began to snore.

Ahead of the convoy, Legon’s stare began to crack. His stern mouth creased on either side, and a bellowing laugh erupted from his deep chest. “Slugmen!” he cried, waving his fist in the air. “We ask for a battle, and you give us slugmen?!”

The leader of the slugmen managed to look almost embarrassed. It waved its spear in the air, somewhat irritated by the lack of attention it was getting. “Slugmen!” it rasped. “Kill them all!”

The beasts poured over the convoy like a swarm of ants over spilled honey, their cries of anger and rage filling the air. Legon swept up his axe from the dirt, and plowed into their midst.

The slaughter was over within moments. Slime was scattered far and wide as the dwarves of the Courageous Bolt decimated the enemy ranks, axes chopping repeatedly as if their enemy was little more than diseased wood. Even Kubluk watched in silent fascination, as their numbers were scattered across the roadway.

Teach stood alone, his sightless combat an awesome sight to behold. Unable to see his enemy, he fought purely by instinct, his blade whirling almost invisibly in the air, covering every possible approach. He laughed manically, and called across to Legon. “ It’s like cutting butter!” he cried. “Their meat doesn’t even slow me down!”

The combat soon ended, and the men of the Bolt returned to the caravan. Several more of their number emerged from the swamp to either side of the wagons, covered from head to toe in mud, where they had dived in pursuit of the now fleeing enemy.

Legon raised his axe, and shouted into the swamps. “We are dwarves, and this is our swamp now!”

Teach returned his sword to his back, and withdrew his guiding cane. He turned, and began to totter back towards the convoy. Suddenly he stopped. “Legon,” he shouted. “I need to borrow your pick”

Legon turned in puzzlement. “What for old man?”

“I think I just trod in a slugman.”
« Last Edit: September 14, 2009, 12:56:42 pm by Cirius »
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Arch-Bishop Cirius started at the ringing of the bell, which signalled the arrival of a pilgrim with a problem to throw at him. It was always a problem. Nobody ever came to say the hymns with him... Or say happy birthday.

Welcome to Spiritwood

Tack

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #58 on: September 14, 2009, 04:04:31 am »

stood in a slugman!? HA! I love it.
As always you are an inspiring storyteller, and you leave us all just gasping for more.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Teach

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Re: The Captain's Log
« Reply #59 on: September 14, 2009, 11:13:18 am »

Blasted slugmen. You'd think they would know better though eh?
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