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Author Topic: Your failed megaprojects  (Read 2409 times)

Tallefred

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Your failed megaprojects
« on: August 27, 2009, 02:44:28 am »

Let's hear about the time it didn't work.

I built an Aztec-style pyramid to be used for sacrificing goblins to the blood god. They were thrown over the side and landed 1 z level down on the next step. Luckily my military was nearby to mop up as they staggered away.
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Danarca

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2009, 03:08:11 am »

Let's hear about the time it didn't work.

I built an Aztec-style pyramid to be used for sacrificing goblins to the blood god. They were thrown over the side and landed 1 z level down on the next step. Luckily my military was nearby to mop up as they staggered away.

And you didn't see that coming? :p

Well, nothing big like that, just some flooding I could take care of and cave-ins plumping through floors, but nothing huge like yours >.<
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lordsigmund

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2009, 03:39:12 am »

Well it wasn't exactly a failure, but I recently made a 5 z-level high hollow aztec pyramid with the main entrance to my fortress spiralling down the middle with the entrance at the top. Then proceeded to fill it with magma.

All was good, the dwarves suffered no ill-effects walking through the burning hot obsidian death pyramid, but when I got my first caravan, as soon as the horses pulling the wagons entered it they started getting stunned. Looked at their wounds and all their feet were red lol. By the time all 6 wagons had made it to my trade depot, there was smoke everywhere :D

Now, when caravans come they get diverted through my secondary entrance, usually reserved for incoming sieges as it spirals over my drowning chamber lol.
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NFossil

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2009, 06:11:27 am »

I also built an Aztec-style pyramid to be used for sacrificing goblins to the blood god. Channels were built into it and water was supposed to flow down from the top sacrificial pit with blood from the victim.
I didn't know of the "flowing water pushing stuff past fortifications" bug then.
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SanDiego

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2009, 06:30:28 am »

I made a magmafall/magma moat, but I forgot magma can flow diagonally.
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kurisukun

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2009, 07:44:52 am »

I was building a very nice large elaborate Castle.   I hadn't gotten attacked at all during its construction, and I was running a communist fort so I had every dwarf doing masonry jobs possible.  So things where going quite fast.

I was almost done when the Siege showed up.

The problem?  The part I hadn't built yet was the front door.   ><

Hawkfrost

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #6 on: August 27, 2009, 07:48:23 am »

The hollow mountain.
So many cave-ins.....
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Neruz

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #7 on: August 27, 2009, 08:09:52 am »

I built a similar aztec style pyramid, but foresaw the whole "dudes don't fall down steps" problem, so i decided to solve it by having a waterfall flow down the side of the temple. Goblins would be dumped into the waterfall and would get washed down through a bunch of repeating spike traps, hopefully resulting in chopped gobbos.

It worked real well right up until the third Goblin, whereupon the dwarves on the temple dropped him into the waterfall and he hung around near the top for a few seconds, just long enough for the dwarves to go "HOLY SHIT A GOBLIN" and run away screaming while my military immediately leaped into the waterfall to kill it.


As it turns out, dwarves chop up just as neatly in a food processor as goblins do.

Lordinquisitor

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2009, 08:34:26 am »

Once i decided to hollow out an artificial cave system under my fortress- A nice place for those goblins Pow.

Well a nice way to die- I filled those cave system partly with water from the nearby river and released some of my exquisite animals down there- A few crocodiles, lizard, snake and olmen.

With the help of some fortifications i hoped to prevent the escape of my untamed pets-

*Sigh* But i built the fortifications wrong. Instead of building them on top of each other i built the "above-water-fortifications" a few tiles away from my underwater fortifications.

So the crocodile escaped and killed my poor fisher dwarves- I had quite a few workers designated to fish, since i needed some turtle shells to prevent my fey weaponsmith from insanity.

So that bastard killed not only some dwarves but even prevented me from getting an nice artifact weapon.
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shadowform

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2009, 02:43:20 am »

I built a similar aztec style pyramid, but foresaw the whole "dudes don't fall down steps" problem, so i decided to solve it by having a waterfall flow down the side of the temple. Goblins would be dumped into the waterfall and would get washed down through a bunch of repeating spike traps, hopefully resulting in chopped gobbos.

It worked real well right up until the third Goblin, whereupon the dwarves on the temple dropped him into the waterfall and he hung around near the top for a few seconds, just long enough for the dwarves to go "HOLY SHIT A GOBLIN" and run away screaming while my military immediately leaped into the waterfall to kill it.


As it turns out, dwarves chop up just as neatly in a food processor as goblins do.

This is not a failure.  The sight of the temple's glorius operation filled your dwarves with such devotion that they were compelled to give themselves to Armok.
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XSI

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2009, 04:37:08 am »

I've started to work on draining 6 z levels of ocean using only pumps a while back.

Turns out, if there's still water under a square it will not be drained completely, the 1/7 water that is still there will keep going in all directions, and it can(And will) push dwarves and building materials down the other 5 z levels of water.(Dogs however, seem perfectly fine with swimming around)

Not only that, but it also seems having 1/7 water sloshing about there stops construction because of dwarves claiming the building site is submerged, I guess the 1/7 water keeps coming together on the worst moments to make 2/7 right when I need something done. Not to mention that dwarves with no job loved standing on the most dangerous parts and falling into the water to drown, lost at least 2 legendary masons that way.

Now I'm using plan B, apply magma(To water to make obsidian walls, then drain what's inside it)
Too bad, I wanted to do this without making chunks of obsidian anywhere except a few engraving spots in the completed fort.

In another fort, I had a small obsidian factory that wasn't sealed off properly, and right next to the dining room.
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Gergination

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #11 on: August 29, 2009, 06:14:01 am »

My megaprojects usually end in tragedy from the greatest menace to dwarf kind, the FPS monster.

I'm actually sticking with my current one but I don't see it being done for literally months.  The first step is to mine out and collapse the entire map, and that's only step one.  Step two and on is a surprise.
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madrain

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2009, 05:22:37 am »

I built a similar aztec style pyramid, but foresaw the whole "dudes don't fall down steps" problem, so i decided to solve it by having a waterfall flow down the side of the temple. Goblins would be dumped into the waterfall and would get washed down through a bunch of repeating spike traps, hopefully resulting in chopped gobbos.

It worked real well right up until the third Goblin, whereupon the dwarves on the temple dropped him into the waterfall and he hung around near the top for a few seconds, just long enough for the dwarves to go "HOLY SHIT A GOBLIN" and run away screaming while my military immediately leaped into the waterfall to kill it.


As it turns out, dwarves chop up just as neatly in a food processor as goblins do.

That's awesome.
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puke

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #13 on: September 01, 2009, 12:43:21 pm »

My megaprojects usually end in tragedy from the greatest menace to dwarf kind, the FPS monster.

same here.  my last megaproject was damming a major river (the kind that is almost as wide as an entire map tile).  the plan was to construct a fort in the river bed, and use the waters from the major river to drown invading armies which would be forced to attack along the riverbed.

i dug under it and started dumping it into the aquifer.  all the water upstream started pouring in.  half the water downstream reversed course and started pouring in, while the rest continued pouring off the map.  FPS dropped from about 90 straight to 1.

there was no doing anything after that.
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Skorpion

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Re: Your failed megaprojects
« Reply #14 on: September 01, 2009, 02:49:13 pm »

Well. My initial project was 'large, working fort'.
Then the goblins threw clothing everywhere outside after dying, and killed my FPS.
So I started a project. Operation: Burn The World. With the aim of pumping magma up through a huge mass of pumps and resevoirs, into a drained murky pool, and then up through a series of huge constructions and pumps and resevoirs and onto a pile of flammables.
And the dump pile.
And out over the entrance.
Eventually the huge array of gearing and axles and the waterwheels providing the power and the ever-increasing piles of trash killed the FPS to a mighty one frame per second.
D11 pushed that up to 6.
The project was abandoned on account of doing more harm than good. I'll get back to it sooner or later, as the fort wasn't abandoned.

My current megaproject is a magma moat. Abandoned halfway because I'm a fucking idiot and dug under the entire sand patch on the map, causing the magma moat to risk cutting through the storerooms.
Efforts persist, however, to try and route it around the other way. Without damming the river in the process.
The project is on hold while the top level of the magma pipe refills, however. Thankfully, this time the moat is pumped out rather than just drained.
Although I'm using this time to dig out as much of the rest of the moat as possible. Optional will be hooking it up to the bedrooms.
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