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Author Topic: Dwarven cheese...?  (Read 3678 times)

Lord Dakoth

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Dwarven cheese...?
« on: August 23, 2009, 05:50:52 pm »

My brother recently brought this to my attention. If cow cheese comes from cow milk, and camel cheese comes from camel milk, shouldn't Dwarven cheese be called Purring Maggot cheese?

Lord Dakoth cancels Think: Too injured Scarred for Life.
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kurisukun

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2009, 05:52:35 pm »

My brother recently brought this to my attention. If cow cheese comes from cow milk, and camel cheese comes from camel milk, shouldn't Dwarven cheese be called Purring Maggot cheese?

Lord Dakoth cancels Think: Too injured Scarred for Life.

Only an elf would bother thinking about that.

Which is why the dwarfs designed it that way, of course.  Psychologically scarred Elves? Check!

Skorpion

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2009, 06:03:32 pm »

Certainly it should be, but would YOU eat anything called 'purring maggot cheese'?

Of course, 'human cheese' is nearly as bad.
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The *large serrated steel disk* strikes the Raven in the head, tearing apart the muscle, shattering the skull, and tearing apart the brain!
A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Raven has been knocked unconcious!

Elves do it in trees. Humans do it in wooden structures. Dwarves? Dwarves do it underground. With magma.

Limul Thak

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #3 on: August 23, 2009, 06:26:56 pm »

I always assumed that Dwarven milk came from dwarves... I guess it never bothered me to think about it because it made sense that some cultures would utilize every form of nutrition possible (how do you think modern humans got their first taste of milk? :-\). I mean, it's not like I would let my petty "values" get in the way of a dwarf enjoying his drink. ;D
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This game is so strange.
The horses have TEEN ANGST.

Stargrasper

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2009, 06:37:37 pm »

I always assumed that Dwarven milk came from dwarves... I guess it never bothered me to think about it because it made sense that some cultures would utilize every form of nutrition possible (how do you think modern humans got their first taste of milk? :-\). I mean, it's not like I would let my petty "values" get in the way of a dwarf enjoying his drink. ;D

You apparently believe dwarves lactate alcoholic milk?

...wait...these are dwarves, we probably shouldn't put it past them...
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martinuzz

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2009, 06:44:53 pm »

Natural selection in favour of the Beard has left the dwarven females without milk glands ages ago.
Since then, dwarves have engaged in a symbiotic relationship with the so-called purring maggots.
Purring maggots happen to excrete a fluid that is in many ways similar to dwarven mother's milk, mainly it's high alcohol percentage and rancid taste.
Another genetic treat developed however, making a considerable percentage of the dwarven population detest purring maggots.
Therefore, cheesemakers around the world prefer to call their fermented salty purring maggot milk 'dwarven cheese', to not upset the dwarves suffering from purrophobia.

It is said that purring maggots thank their name to the sound they make when being milked.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

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http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Vester

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2009, 06:46:42 pm »

You know, the very thought of maggots purring is just supremely off.
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EvilTwin

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2009, 06:57:06 pm »

I hate cheese. Why? Because, in my current fort, I have a blind cheesemaker!
*sigh* i think i should stick him in one of my experiments that end deadly most of the time...
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martinuzz

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #8 on: August 23, 2009, 07:03:37 pm »

UristMcBlindcheesemaker:"Hmm.. Yes.. This feels warm and soggy.. I think I found my shelf of young cheese.
Tentacle demon: ...
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

yaklin

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #9 on: August 23, 2009, 07:11:03 pm »

martinuzz you should put that in the wiki and rate it d for dwarf
that will make anybody laugh

*if it is already in the wiki then disregard this post*
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Dvergar

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #10 on: August 23, 2009, 08:33:33 pm »

What about American cheese?   ;D

On a side note, how does a cheesemaker become blind?
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Stargrasper

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #11 on: August 23, 2009, 08:35:48 pm »

What about American cheese?   ;D

On a side note, how does a cheesemaker become blind?

Well duh, he left the last fortress he lived in because they immediately drafted him into the military. :P
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Phantom

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #12 on: August 23, 2009, 08:38:41 pm »

By doing this
The flying cheese fork hits the cheese maker in the eyes!
The left eye is gouged out
The right eye is gouged out
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #13 on: August 23, 2009, 09:45:14 pm »

I figured it would be in bad taste, so I didn't say, but I had a different theory...

*squick*

Sensei

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Re: Dwarven cheese...?
« Reply #14 on: August 24, 2009, 01:01:19 am »

By doing this
The flying cheese fork hits the cheese maker in the upper left arm!
The left eye is gouged out
The right eye is gouged out


Fixed.
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