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Author Topic: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...  (Read 17338 times)

snow-templar

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That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« on: August 20, 2009, 10:13:59 pm »

It is but a portal into our world!  You wonder why children scream about monsters under their beds? You wonder why piles of stone can always be found under bridges?  The answer is DWARF FORTRESS!!!  More specifically, the use of the drawbridge as an atom smasher, for it does not smash atoms, but merely teleports them to another dimension... ours!  The only reason the stone doesn't pile up or physical evidence of goblin corpses exist is because the data, once transferred, cannot maintain stability in our dimension and disappears into a form detectable only from the Dwarf Dimension.  My fellow dwarf masters... THIS IS THE TRUE ANSWER*!!!!

* = This is technically just a theory.  We are, however, in the process of proving this theory by developing a reverse dwarf drawbridge to take us into the Dwarf Dimension.  Any donations to the cause will be accepted once we find a financial organization that finds us creditable for transactions.
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#!/usr/bin/ruby -w
print 'carp... F'
loop { print 'U' }

Duke 2.0

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2009, 10:21:30 pm »

 You fool! Probing in the sixties has shown that dimension flooded with magma decades ago! You will doom us all!
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Neruz

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2009, 11:03:41 pm »

So you're suggesting that the bridge comes down so hard it bashes things off the universe?

Vester

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2009, 11:51:24 pm »

The only way to test that theory is to Atom-Smash Planepacked and see what happens.
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The Orange Mage

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2009, 12:27:21 am »

The only way to test that theory is to Atom-Smash Planepacked and see what happens.

This is both the most frightening and exciting proposal I have ever heard.
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Firnagzen

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2009, 12:36:16 am »

The only way to test that theory is to Atom-Smash Planepacked and see what happens.

This is both the most frightening and exciting proposal I have ever heard.

Don't do that. The world will lag like crazy and then collapse into a singularity as the sheer fractal goodness of Planepacked sucks the world in.
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Christ, are you dwarves or are you elves? If you think Hell has too many demons, then you kill them till the population reaches an acceptable number.

Phantom

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2009, 12:39:24 am »

Where would planepacked appear though?
And only armok knows what it looks like, wait, LETS ATOM SMASH ARMOK!
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Hawkfrost

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2009, 12:48:53 am »

Where would planepacked appear though?
And only armok knows what it looks like, wait, LETS ATOM SMASH ARMOK!

You can't atom-smash demons, remember?
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Arathanar

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #8 on: August 21, 2009, 12:57:10 am »

Where would planepacked appear though?
And only armok knows what it looks like, wait, LETS ATOM SMASH ARMOK!

You can't atom-smash demons, remember?

Goblins worship demons. Dwarves worship Armok.

Incidentally, if a reverse-atom-smasher could be created, atom-smashing a flash drive with DF on it could create a recursive black hole, destroying every instant of existence of the entire multiverse at once.

We must do this.
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Mipe

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #9 on: August 21, 2009, 05:47:50 am »

Gentlemen, this I call Dwarven Science.
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Armok

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #10 on: August 21, 2009, 06:31:47 am »

I'm already right here you know, you're not the first to think of this idea...
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So says Armok, God of blood.
Sszsszssoo...
Sszsszssaaayysss...
III...

blah28722

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #11 on: August 21, 2009, 06:38:15 am »

What happens when you atom smash demons? Do bridges get destroyed?
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Neruz

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2009, 08:22:15 am »

What happens when you atom smash demons? Do bridges get destroyed?

Yup, Demons are apparantly too badass to be punched out of reality, so the bridge suffers from a reflection of it's force and punches itself out of existance.

Dae

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2009, 08:51:50 am »

The only way to test that theory is to Atom-Smash Planepacked and see what happens.

You just made me discover this wonderful holographic depiction of a whole universe. I let you guess how many ideas have sprung from my mind thanks to Planepacked.
Thank you.
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blah28722

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Re: That is not dwarvern atom smasher...
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2009, 08:57:08 am »

So wouldn't a bridge that atomsmashes itself become a bridge in real life?

The government isn't building the bridges, it's a conspiracy!
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