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Author Topic: Shot in the Dark  (Read 4366 times)

Reasonableman

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #15 on: August 19, 2009, 12:29:46 am »

I tried the whole not caring thing, that didn't work very well... ended with me barely graduating from high school, despite phenomenal test grades, because while it eliminated fear it also killed any sort of motivation to exert effort (on homework and such.)
« Last Edit: August 19, 2009, 12:32:21 am by Reasonableman »
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Sensei

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #16 on: August 19, 2009, 12:32:20 am »

Mkay.

MAJOR important definition point here.

In that case, the disorder does not cause anything, you act that way because you have been scorned in relationships. These symptoms are often associated and have been grouped together and called a disorder.

You are not having these problems because you have a disorder. They are a disorder.

An example of a disorder causing problems would be depression caused by a chemical imbalance.

Anyway, best cure is to take risks and hit your head against hard things if you really know you should be doing something, but can't make yourself. In essence, the best way to get through it is to force yourself (oh, that's it? that wasn't son bad!) through. Be cruel only to be kind. It sounds completely out of whack if I say that you need to be cruel to yourself, or someone to be cruel to you, but if you work with me, that's it in essence.

Yet another attempt at stating what I mean: Methinks you came here because you someone to tell you you can push through your 'disorder'.

At any rate, you aren't likely to get much more useful advice from the internet.
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Vester

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #17 on: August 19, 2009, 12:54:42 am »

Unless a doctor says you have a psychological disorder, you don't have it.  There's a reason they say Asperger's is caused by reading the wikipedia entry on Asperger's.

This. I don't know how old you are, but self diagnosing mental problems is a pretty common passtime for folks aged 13-17. I though I had Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder for at least a year until I realized I was just really awkward :3

Yeah, I thought I was manic-depressive for a few years before realizing, wait, no, that's just the hormones. :D

Anyway, maybe you're just not into people so much? I mean, wanting to stay at home and watch TV instead of partying doesn't mean you're sick, it just means you wanted to catch those reruns they've been showing.
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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #18 on: August 19, 2009, 09:15:58 am »

First question: should, in the subject/topic title, the word "in" be capitalized?

No. Only subjects, major verbs, major adjectives, pronouns, and adverbs should be capitalized. (as a general rule. there are some exceptions)
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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #19 on: August 19, 2009, 09:58:28 am »

Instead of not caring, I laugh haughtily at everything else.  It gets me through the day.
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Eidalac

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #20 on: August 19, 2009, 10:26:24 am »

A good number of personality/mental disorders I've read about online are vague and overlapping.

For example, the list you put up could quallify as:  Shyness, Social Anxiety Disorder (if it's real and not just a fancy way to say Shy) or that one thing I saw in a movie where you can't leave your home without collapsing in fear.

So, it's not so much the symptoms as the degree of each you have.


Take myself:

I get poke fun of by friends and family (aka jerks in my life) because i can't talk to girls.

The general thing that's assumed is that I'm afraid of doing so.

However, the fact of the matter is that I just don't know how to start a conversation.  Regardless of gender, I have a very hard time talking to someone who hasn't talked to me first.

Now, it this any kind of disorder?

Maybe.

More likely?  I was raise to not talk while others talked, in a house where someone literally interrupted me every time I tried to talk, so I learned to not talk at all.

IIRC, this is a kind of complex, but I could be wrong on that.

At any rate, the point is, that people are jerks and idiots.  They will do and say mean and hurtful things to you out of spite and stupidity more than any action on your part.  This fact conflicts with our basic nature to be social creatures, causing the brain-flesh to hurts.

My best advice?

If you feel that something of this nature is adversely affecting you, you have to make an effort to overcome the impulse you don't want.  If you find yourself unable to do so, consider talking with a doctor or therapist who can make a more informed diagnosis.

For, remember, the net and the wiki are filled with and by people, and people are stupid jerks.

Don't listen to the stupid jerks.  :D
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Cyx

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #21 on: August 19, 2009, 11:38:08 am »

I have spent far too much time browsing mental disorders on Wikipedia in recent days

You do that too ? Look up dissociative identity disorder. Read support forums for those who have it. Fascinating stuff. Makes you realize how complicated the human psyche can be. Then there's the Cotard delusion, which is interesting also, except nobody can talk about it on the internet because they're all convinced that they're dead.

As for your problem, I'd say it makes no difference whether you do have a mental illness or not. I'm not sure an actual psychiatrist could tell the difference between extreme shyness and light personality disorder, because sometimes there isn't any. (Feel free to correct me on this one ?)

There seems to be three ways you can prevent your fear not to be liked from crippling your social interactions: logic is the first that comes to mind; just analyze the situation, realize that they don't need you to be perfect, and act. Then there's slowly building your confidence, trying something and seeing it works, telling yourself that there's nothing to be afraid of. A shrink would help greatly there. Then there's the hardcore way I'd recommend; being embarrassed. Maybe a little every day to build up tolerance, maybe one time hugely to hit bottom and realize that it's not so bad. I'm going to guess that it's just fear, and you haven't actually been disliked by anyone since maybe the ones who made you careful in the first place, plus you know intellectually that some guys thinking you're weird wouldn't be a big deal. You get rid of fear by facing it, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, etc.
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Jimmy

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #22 on: August 20, 2009, 06:48:20 am »

In my occupation I see mental illness every day. Full blown mental illness is a terrible curse for the people it affects, and those who live with serious mental illnesses should be treated with tolerance, patience and a measure of respect.

But if you're sitting on the internet self diagnosing from Wikipedia, I suggest you try turning off the computer and getting some face to face socializing in motion. Take up a sport or hobby. And frankly, if you're a teenager, you'll outgrow all that angst and self-pity.
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eerr

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #23 on: August 23, 2009, 02:52:57 pm »

Most physchological diseases are less intense than people make them out to be.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #24 on: August 23, 2009, 03:03:57 pm »

Most physchological diseases are less intense than people make them out to be.

I wouldn't be so quick to assume that eerr...
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GruffyBears

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #25 on: August 23, 2009, 03:31:48 pm »

Most people feel that way. Everyone is awkward around new people. I could self-diagnose myself with that disorder if I felt like it.

You're coming onto the internet right now and asking strangers whether or not you have a disorder that stops you talking to strangers.
I mean;
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4. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.
If you were that preoccupied, you wouldn't so easily admit to a flaw.
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Sensei

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #26 on: August 23, 2009, 04:06:21 pm »

More likely, you're worried about being criticized to your face. You're far more comfortable communicating online.

If you said 'yes' to the above, then congratulations you're a nerd. Get some sun.
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GruffyBears

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #27 on: August 23, 2009, 04:21:12 pm »

More likely, you're worried about being criticized to your face. You're far more comfortable communicating online.

If you said 'yes' to the above, then congratulations you're a nerd. Get some sun.

Incorrect. Everyone worries about being criticizied to their face. And everyone is more comfortable online.

Someone who deliberately avoids real communication due to being more comfortable online is probably closer to being a "nerd".
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Reasonableman

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #28 on: August 23, 2009, 04:30:31 pm »

That'd be me, yay!

EDIT: Hell, I even pretend the phone is broken so that I -have- to talk to them online. Although at the moment it is actually broken, which is convenient.
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IndonesiaWarMinister

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Re: Shot in the Dark
« Reply #29 on: August 26, 2009, 06:35:46 am »

That'd be me, yay!

EDIT: Hell, I even pretend the phone is broken so that I -have- to talk to them online. Although at the moment it is actually broken, which is convenient.

Me too v_v
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