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[KaziArmada]

Whaddya mean by map then?

A picture of it?

Here, I'll just do it:
http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-6818-murderletter-murderletter
There we go, teh map.
EDIT:
Whoops didn't see the earlier post...

No Worries Taco.

And ill get that Complied of every save so far Map up by Wendsday night at the latest..

[Taco Dan]

Dante`, your turn's almost up...

[KaziArmada]

And I lied...Ill put the map up..uh..Hell, ill just wait till Dante' posts...heres hoping he dosent run over the limit though, Im insainley curious to whats happened next

[Taco Dan]

Today is his last day... We may have to skip him...

[KaziArmada]

Today is his last day... We may have to skip him...

Nuts...
Eh, Sign me up for a succession spot. May as well take my own hand at this..

AND i just realized Blah already put the map up..God, I...Im slow...
You should put the link to in the OP though

[Taco Dan]

Dante` has been skipped...

[Neruz]

Owell, i guess that means i'm up, now to hunt down the save (i know it's in this thread somewhere )

[Neruz]

The Chronicles of Neruz; The Thougherly Confused.

1st Granite, 180.
Join the army they said. See the world they said. Lying sons of bitches. The only thing i can see is snow, and sure this godforsaken hellhole might technically qualify as a part of 'the world', but anyone with half a brain can see that is bullshit.

Yeah so i'm experienced at living in and around glaciers and tundras, and apparantly the place is in dire need of leadership since the last bastard vanished into thin air, but fuck that.


First thing i noticed upon reaching the site on the map was the giant-ass tower of ice sitting in the middle of nowhere. Who the hell builds a tower out of ice? And why is the Trade Depot under twenty feet of snow? And that lump over there looks suspisciously like a wagon. Surely these idiots wouldn't be stupid enough to leave potential wood lying around unused on a glacier?



Yes, yes they would...

Thankfully there's alot of trees on the nearby tundra, but i'll order that wagon to be dismantled anyway, it's not doing any good where it is.



I just walked in through the front doors. Apparantly nobody is paying any attention at all. A goblin siege could just wander right in here clean as you like. Christ.


Who the hell designed this place? This hall just keeps going, and it's tiny. I had to engage in some rather intricate dancing to avoid a mother and her child blocking the hallway, and i noticed through the door that there's clothes all over the barracks. What in gods name have they been doing in there? No, wait, i don't want to know, this place is terrifying enough already...

Ah, here we are, this loo- OW, son of a...



Note to self, find out which fucker drew a picture of a door on a random segment of wall and sell him to the Elves, assuming they're stupid enough to come out this far.


Finally found what passes for an office in this place, i wandered past an incredibly powerful and buff looking champion who was completely and totally failing to do anything useful, so i told him to piss off and go watch the doors in case a kobold tried to sneak through. He looked at me funny so i threw snow at him until he wandered off, idiot. I also saw what looked a hell of a lot like a couple of tiny rooms stacked full of coffins, i'm not sure i care.
Now, lets take a look at these files.



The place is called Murderletter?... Jeeeesus...


Hey, it's not all bad after all, apparantly 37 dwarves have chosen to live in this hole in the ice, and 3 of them are champions. I'm amazed, Fortress wealth is a bit meh, but we're looking solid for seeds, booze and food, so supplies are all good. Not sure we really need 7 stoneworkers though...



Wait, 6 farmers? To feed 37 Dwarves? These must be the worst damn farmers in the world. Oh well, lets see the fortress schema-

The Fuck?


I.

What.

Guh.

Who.

How.

Buh?


Looking at these schematics has done permanent damage to my higher brain functions. I think i'm going to take the rest of the day off while i try and work out what the hell is going on here...

[KaziArmada]

Note to self, find out which fucker drew a picture of a door on a random segment of wall and sell him to the Elves, assuming they're stupid enough to come out this far.

Haha. Oh, by the time this is done so many different peoples design plans, oh its going to be terrible XD

I DID want to ask, on the end of the third turn map i noticed a small back door..Why the hell is that there, it looks like a perfect easy entrance for a siege...

[Neruz]

2nd Granite, 180

I think i've slept off the worst of the mental damage, so it's time to get down to buisness. First things first, why the hell do we have a back door leading straight into the farms? And two Champions permanently on duty there? Who designed that? I've ordered the back door to be bricked up, with ice, just to spite those fuckers.

Next thing to do is move the Trade Depot inside and set up the front door properly, leaving the Traders to freeze outside is stupid, unless they're Elves, but i have other plans for that eventuality.

There's an empty room with a few patches of rough ice just south of the front doors that should serve nicely once it's cleand up a bit.

Reviewing the plans, i've found that we have a surprisingly extensive mining operation, even if it is nowhere near anywhere useful. I don't think i can be bothered trying to relocate the entire fortress, although i -do- have a cunning plan i must impliment. I've also ordered the exploratory mining to continue, these bastards seem happy enough to live in ice, so they can fucking stay there. Finally, i've ordered some more rooms to be dug out, you can never be too careful, demandy immigrants might arrive at any time.

5th Granite, 180

I wandered past the Mayor today and was struck by his remarkable resemblance to the former leader of this fortress. I carefully tailed him for awhile until he entered a pair of doors that were not marked on the schematics. Further investigation has revealed that he is in fact the former leader of the fortress, and that he wasted vast amounts of fortress resources constructing himself a hidden room out of the ice.

I've locked him in there, i might let him out in a week or two, once he's nice and sober.

[blah28722]

I dug the back hole to shorten the time it takes to get wood. It's supposed to be locked when no one is cutting wood.

Otherwise, the dwarves have to run from the front door all the way to the edge to cut the wood, then run all the way back to the meeting room. At the same time, a dwarve in the meeting room will run through the gauntlet, out the main entrance, to the wood, bring the wood back to the main entrance, up the gauntlet, and into the wood stockpile.

I think it's something like 300 steps. That back door shortens it to something like 50.

Yeah, just lock it if you don't need wood. No need to wall it up and regret it when coal production grinds to a halt.

[blah28722]

Damn it. I knew I should have started earlier than the last month in my round.

I needed to build a mini-booze and food stockpile in there. Not to mention make everything royal and not just grand.

[KaziArmada]

I dug the back hole to shorten the time it takes to get wood. It's supposed to be locked when no one is cutting wood.

Otherwise, the dwarves have to run from the front door all the way to the edge to cut the wood, then run all the way back to the meeting room. At the same time, a dwarve in the meeting room will run through the gauntlet, out the main entrance, to the wood, bring the wood back to the main entrance, up the gauntlet, and into the wood stockpile.

I think it's something like 300 steps. That back door shortens it to something like 50.

Yeah, just lock it if you don't need wood. No need to wall it up and regret it when coal production grinds to a halt.

Please, for the love of god, Tell me its sealable with either a Drawbridge or Floodgates, because if its just regular DOORS?....This isent Helms Deep damn it, you dont HAVE to leave an obvious much easier access entrance!!

[blah28722]

Locked doors can't be traversed by anything but building destroyers.

It's the same with other constructions.

It's not like the front doors are protected anyway. If anything, the former front area of the fort is largely deserted now.

At least it's better than before, where a stair from the top of a hill led the attackers right into the fort. There weren't even locked doors then.

[Neruz]

6th Granite, 180

I've just been informed we don't have a mechanic's workshop, or a mechanic. What kind of arse-end-backwards fortress is this? I grabbed the first useless-looking person i could find and sent him down to the workshops, fortunately i didn't have to threaten him with smoothing all the new digging in the ice i've done to get him to do it, these idiots finally seem to be falling into line.

7th Granite, 180

Exploratory Mining struck Limonite, more steel for the fortress.



14th Granite

The Refuse pile is indoors! There's also sasquatch bones all over the place, should be good for ammo and bows, i have no idea why the Dwarves seem so terrified of a few sasquatches.

17th Granite

The Elves are here. Hopefully they'll bring something useful, if not...



Sythun just came in and complained about a groundhog infestation. I told him to go grow some balls.

19th Granite



Groundhogs have infested the glacier and everyone is refusing to go outside. I've sent our erstwhile champions to deal with the furry menace, like we need giant armored dwarves to take out fluffy meat.

Also, why the hell are there clothes strewn all over the glacier? What's been going on out there?

20th Granite

Look at that groundhog fly! Mestthos has just invented Groundhog Golf.



21st Granite

The fortress has sprouted a sudden infestation of Kobolds. Damned rats.

23rd Granite

I've begun my secret project. Mwa ha ha ha.

Also, apparantly Kobolds have been stealing so much shit from this fortress it's become a notable event. Half the engravings are about this shit.



24th Granite

JESUS FUCK WHAT WAS THAT?

I had to let the previous leader out of his undeserved room due to him being the trader, just as we came outside some... thing charged out of the snow, tore the Elves to shreds and ran off! This is why the Depot needs to be indoors!

I have no fucking clue what that was, but i'll be damned if it's getting inside this fort.

25th Granite

I've just discovered that the Bar stockpile is on the other side of the fort to the Forges. Who designed that?

On the plus side, the new entrance is finished, bout time.



More to come later, the Skeletal Sasquatch looks like it's coming back for round 2.