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[Sappho]

So I found this movie called Edgar Allen Poe's House of Usher.  I had never heard of it, but then I've been very out of the loop for a long while.  I love Poe and it sounded interesting so I grabbed it.  It was labeled a "thriller/horror" movie.

I started watching it and immediately realized it was very much a B movie.  Terrible acting, awful sound quality.  They took the story "Fall of the House of Usher" and modernized it, but didn't modernize the language - that's always a good idea.  I settled in and prepared for an hour and twenty minutes of laughing at a terrible movie.

About fifteen minutes in, Usher and Victor (the unnamed narrator in the story) are having a conversation, and Victor says he'd better get to bed.  Suddenly there is a long, awkward silence as they stare at each other, and then...  they begin kissing.

What followed was a ten-minute long softcore gay porn scene - basically just the two of them making out and stripping down to their underwear (which is never so much as touched other than to expose part of the butt).

I was still trying to get my head around the idea that someone would read "The Fall of the House of Usher" and think, "you know what this needs?  SOFTCORE GAY PORN!" when the scene suddenly ended with Victor saying things were moving too fast and heading to his room.

Then...  The storyline picks right back up!

There are four or five such ten-minute so-softcore-they-actually-get-really-boring porn-type scenes in the movie, which is otherwise just a really terrible adaptation of Poe's short story (they change pretty much everything).  I couldn't stop myself from watching it, beginning to end, and laughing my ass off.

The best part, however, is the ending.  I'll hide it, just in case any of you want to watch the movie!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

After the house crumbles away (actually it looks more like it gets sucked into a vortex), for NO APPARENT REASON it cuts to Victor sitting on a hospital bed, rocking back and forth and drawing pictures, with all the other characters around as doctors and orderlies discussing his mania.  They give him a shot of laudanum and the credits roll.  Your typical "it was all a dream/hallucination" ending, but with no basis whatsoever!

I can't get over how hilarious this entire experience was.  Has anyone else heard of or seen this movie?  Any other surprise porno stories?

[Zironic]

Note to Doctors: Reading books to patients by Poe is wrong, especially when they decide to write a movie version and you get it made into film.

[Muz]

Any movie that has a 15+ rating on it, because you don't expect 15+ kids to watch anything with porn in it, and the rating is low enough that "mild nudity" can appear and suddenly disappear for no reason.

[Sensei]

Heh, that sounds kinda like the Baz Luhrmann edition of Romeo and Juliet, except the latter didn't fail. Actually, it was pretty funny, but the good parts don't seem to be on Youtube.

[Neonivek]

Sudden out of place Soft-core porn is a staple of cult movies!

I watched Wish Masters 5 or something (I don't think that is the name or the correct number... STUPID movie) but they kept their out of place Soft-core porn scene near the end. Though in their defense they did hint on it and the TWO most seen places in the movie is the main character's house and a strip bar.

Though unexpected Soft-core Gay porn? Hmmm never seen that in any of the cult movies I watched... unless you count the scene where a woman finds herself being sexually assaulted by everyone around her.

Note: Incase anyone is interested, the Space Channel where I live shows cult classics late at night. Most of them are horrible and some of them somehow are porn (I don't watch those however... Especially after being scarred for life from one of them)

[ein]

Heh, that sounds kinda like the Baz Luhrmann edition of Romeo and Juliet, except the latter didn't fail. Actually, it was pretty funny, but the good parts don't seem to be on Youtube.

That's because youtube blocks nudity. Unless it's 2d or snuck into something in a not very noticeable way.

[Sensei]

The movie in question is PG-13, and the 'good parts' in question aren't the horny ones.

Granted, I can imagine you assuming that what with the topic and all. And of course, the 'surprise porn' isn't a surprise at all because it's romeo and friggin' juliet. Anyway, I was trying to find Act 1, scene 1, where romeo's servants fight. That was pretty friggin' awesome.

[Neonivek]

While I know they leave a part open in Romeo and Juliet for a sex scene (but I cannot remember if it actually happened or if it is common for people to put it in there), for it to go from sex scene to SEX SCENE!!! is something entirely different all together.

[Sensei]

It's just a 'sex scene'. Actually, there are some of what I am prone to calling stripper skillz in the ways they manage to NOT show anything to the camera.

[Neonivek]

It's just a 'sex scene'. Actually, there are some of what I am prone to calling stripper skillz in the ways they manage to NOT show anything to the camera.

So the surprise is basically just that it is a gay sex scene? Given Brokeback mountain this topic disapoints me.

Though I am getting somewhat tired of seeing people add homosexual overtones (and by Overtones I mean "Overt-tones") in Shakespear. You would think everyone in the theature was gay or something (Hmmm)
-Uhhh I am not changing this... but I feel that I left this open WAY too much to misinterpretation. What I was meaning is that people look way too far into some things.

Does anyone feel that this topic may be going too close to Moderation? Anyone want to just abandon this discussion?

[chaoticag]

While I know they leave a part open in Romeo and Juliet for a sex scene (but I cannot remember if it actually happened or if it is common for people to put it in there), for it to go from sex scene to SEX SCENE!!! is something entirely different all together.

You mean the scene where Romeo more or less stares out the window, mooning the camera for a good five minutes and Juliet suddenly realises that her family was about to barge in (or something) and gets out of bed exposing her breasts for a quarter of a second?

It took our drama teacher a while to realise he ought to be forwarding that part, while the rest of the class was laughing their asses off.

[Neonivek]

I've seen that scene end with a sex scene once. (He does a lot of his speach after the sex, she says her father is comming, then transition)

All seen in Highschool oddly enough and maybe as early as elementary as part of the class.

Goodness I don't want people to get the wrong idea...

[Vester]

Wait, I read The Fall of the House of Usher, there wasn't any sex (gay or otherwise) in it! RAEG.

...

Did it say who made the movie?

[Neonivek]

Actually having read the topic creator's original post more in depth I have to say that the ending made PERFECT sense

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Obviously the movie was SOO bad it couldn't have possible have happened and was dreamed up by some drugged out psychopath in the hospital. In fact the last scene wasn't probably filmed they likely took it from the real life hospital security camera and just superimposed music.

[Sensei]

It's just a 'sex scene'. Actually, there are some of what I am prone to calling stripper skillz in the ways they manage to NOT show anything to the camera.

So the surprise is basically just that it is a gay sex scene? Given Brokeback mountain this topic disapoints me.

Though I am getting somewhat tired of seeing people add homosexual overtones (and by Overtones I mean "Overt-tones") in Shakespear. You would think everyone in the theature was gay or something (Hmmm)
-Uhhh I am not changing this... but I feel that I left this open WAY too much to misinterpretation. What I was meaning is that people look way too far into some things.

Does anyone feel that this topic may be going too close to Moderation? Anyone want to just abandon this discussion?

Oh come on, I'm talking about Romeo and Juliet having sex! Crikey!

The whole point of the movie was to adhere STRICTLY to the script, in a contemporary setting, and therefore it is funny (they did a good job too). I will restate that there is no gay sex in the movie I am discussing, which is not OP's movie. Mkay?