TURN 32! SHIT, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET FAN!
Decide to fight the lizardmen.
[1] You decide to fuck the lizardmen. Strange, but whatever, it's your lifestyle choice. You pull out a whip and get your caravan moving, barely catching up to your companions as they meet the massive army... Oh wait, you wanted to
fight them? That makes much more sense. But whatever, you're there at least.
Throw stuff at the army. Not my axe, though.
[6] You leap out from your carriage, tossing a pebble at the closest lizardman. This decapitates him handily, but as you leap in joy you realize that his 300 friends just got really pissed. (+1 Throwing Skill)
Pray for Red's aim to be true and strong.
You decide that it'd be best not to try and flank an enemy whose commander wouldn't even notice your pitiful force, and instead pray to increase the abilities of your ally. [5] It works, and Armok gives Red the promise that all of his throws will strike this battle. Whether or not they kill is another matter entirely. (+1 Priestlyness gained.)
Experiment with toughness-increasing foods, with plenty of iron in them, and calcium for strong bones.
[2+3] You make another concoction, the crown jewel being a few wolf hairs. You test it on your little rat assistant, and he downs it. It works marvelously as his toughness is massively increased, adding even more muscle to his hilariously disproportionate form. (+1 Toughness to Remy; Gained Recipe: Wolfhair Vial)
I tell Kilakan not to look for a moment, close my eyes, then signal our allies and blind the enemy army by breathing fire and using fire magic to make it as bright as I can.
[2] You gather up all your might, and roar, letting out... a shroud of darkness. Huh. Guess black dragons don't breathe fire.
Read a book about how to do Elementalism. Or Summoning, as a second choice.
[4]Increasingly and somewhat worryingly aloof of the world around you, you read a book on elementalism. You can't quite make heads or tails of it, but one passage leaps out at you: "The elements are spiritual in their basest forms, and are kept and maintained by spirits. Arcane magic tends to work around these spirits, but druids and more mystic magicians try to work with them; this has led to the discovery that each element has one particular opposite, a piece of which must be sacrificed to summon a spirit of the element whose enemy was sacrificed."
Look for something interesting. never know what you can find on the open road
[1] You look out the window and notice a massive horde of lizardmen. Hmm.
I shall follow closely to Ram, wherever he goes, and create a tornado around us with us in the epi-center, protecting us from arrows and killing anyone who comes to close, I believe this combined with his defensive fire storm, will be quite fun..... yes FUN in the DF style if this goes badly and FUN in the we are so over-powered it's not even fun, but it is style.
[6+4]... Shit just hit the fan.
You conjure a tornado with the intent to have it protect you, but you put in far too much energy, more than you realize you had. It soon surges to an intensity far beyond what it should be. [2] It breaks free from your power with what you swear is an honest to god cackle, and begins tearing apart the Lizardman army. Thousands are brought into the air, being tossed for miles like they were toys. It soon gets too close to ToonyManner's army, and they fight to avoid being sucked into the air. [ARMIES: [6][4][4][6]] [PLAYERS:[5][5][2][3][2][5][6][3][3][3]] [PLAYER DAMAGE:[6][4][3][5][3][4]] [PLAYER "DON'T DIE TOONY" ROLLS: [5]] [NPCs: [4][4][2][5][2][6][4][2][5+1]] [NPC DAMAGE ROLLS:[4][5][5]] [JESUS ROLL:[4]]
Your armies scatter, searching for the nearest cover. The dragons fly high into the sky to escape the beast of nature, but they can still barely escape its sucking. "Cookie" is almost picked up, but is caught by Remy, whose immense strength keeps him rooted to the earth. Smee and Shamus think quickly, and tie ToonyManner to a tree after a mysterious scythe nearly decapitates him. Moments later, said tree is ripped from the ground and flung hundreds of meters into the air. Barely breaking through the roar of Kilakan's monster, you hear a faint noise. You can only assume it is ToonyManner screaming in terror as he is sent plummeting to the earth below. A massive dust cloud blocks view as he crashes. A few heart-pounding moments later, he crawls out from the dust cloud, bloodied and bruised but otherwise okay. In the background, no one notices Jesus nearly get his by a flying carriage, causing him to bugger out back to heaven. He'll be back later. Maybe.
train dual wielding V and tell my son all about it.
[4+1] You decide to show off to your son, and perform the fanciest tricks you can think of. [6][2] They even sort of work, ripping one of the few lizardmen that survived the tornado to shreds. His friend, sadly, is still alive.
explain that he is a beng that i created. oh and make more acidic demons
[3] You explain to him the complex anatomy of the new species that you have created, him being the first and the prototype of sorts. It seems to go over his head, though. [5] You decide to show him an example, and get to work with your chemicals, making yet another demon. This one is a bit lankier, and has a crooked beak extending from its face, but is otherwise like your first demon.
Allied ActionsWow.
[1] Wow.
Enemy ActionsAllow the leader entrance
The scattered survivors pull back from the engagements that they are in with your men, and form two lines. In between them walks a massive creature. It dwarfs the average Croc, but has a cunning glint in his eyes. He carries an amulet with a strange gem in it. Suddenly, you hear a voice shouting at you. It's the fire mage! You all suddenly remember that you had tied him to a chair and placed him on top of a carriage. He now yells to you from the tree he is lodged in that the Lizardman leader's amulet has the source of power of the artifact he described. You must get it!
Characters:Competent Gunner; Novice Thrower
From the Mountainhomes of The Crescent of Dawning, Urist has enjoyed a priveliged life, but always wanted to go on an adventure. So, he decided to learn about being on a boat. He was offered a job, and accepted, not realizing who exactly his employer was.
Not smote by Armok; Blessing of Armok's Accuracy
Pistoleer; Armokian Priest
Has taken as a child by Kobolds and traded to humans, who forced into slavery on a privateer. He has no idea of his Dwarf name but uses Silverlash (a name from an older dwarf that tuaght him English [or whatever we speak on this world]) now that he is free. Is very fierce and is almost too human-like to be around dwarfs.
Flintlock Pistol, silver Ring of Unknown Power; Chainmail of Armok; enchanted cutlass
Champion of Armok(?); Priest of Armok
Great Demon of Armok, Nk'tosh G'vallowlk (slave); 50 Skeletal Warrior Thralls
Navigator; Novice Axedwarf!
Steel Battle Axe; Power Armor with Laser Cannon
Captain of the Fresh-Prince of Tallair
1 Skaven; 1 Wood Elf; 2 High Elfs; 2 Goblins; 2 Dwarves; 25 Humans; 2 Sapphire Knights (Mount: Warhorse) 1 Minotaur, "Rajiv"; 2 Ogres; 1 Mountain Troll, "Urgrost"; 2 Orcs
Grand Master Cook/Brewer (+3 to cooking); Dabbling Magic(Not sure what he'll do with it, as he's a dwarf. Probably a plot hook.); Marksdwarf(+1 to archery)
A cook who has traveled the world searching for new exotic dishes and spices. He keeps a chest full of the rarest and most exquisite spices he finds on his journeys, and intends to one day make, as he calls it, "my Feast," the culmination of all his skill and knowledge, with the use of all his precious spice possessions.
Olgar McFlannigenshabenflibenschutz (Companion); Remy the Rat
Chicken Health Potion; Potion of the Bear; Wolfhair Vial
Lookout; Pyromancer (+1); Dabbling Flyer
She was sold into slavery to pay off her gambling debts, but the ship she was being taken to her buyer on was destroyed by pirates. After being washed ashore she realised that there was nothing left of her old life and she was better off letting the world think that she was dead. With no place in civilised society she has signed up with a pirate crew and never looked back.
She doesn't gamble any more but has a habit of leaving playing cards that explode.
Very Strong (+2)
Agile
Very Tough
Dabbling Mechanic; Novice Ambusher; Marksgoblin; Dabbling Barterer; Dabbling Energy Operator; Dabbling Debater
Exiled by his own race for being a little nuts, he has taken to become pirate. Has an unhealthy obsession with machinery and technology of all sorts. His ability to actually use two pistols at the same time effectively makes him a valuable asset in each team, as one glance at him tends to make the opponents wish they would have brought their brown pants. Also Jesus in disguise.
One flintlock pistol, one two-shot pistol, steel helmet,
Medic; Novice Rifle-goblin; Dabbling Skinner
A Goblin fresh out of medical school (Or, at least that's what they called it), Luke had wished to settle down and start his own private practice. That was, until he was drafted. Luke was forced through basic training, constantly punished for his lack of respect for his officers, and defected as soon as he could.
Flintlock Rifle; Plate Armor; Four-shot rifle
Duelist; Legendary Wind Mage (+4); Dabbling Negotiator; Dabbling Life-Giver
Born to noble descent, "killer" quickly realized that spending his life in a castle was not meant for him, his years as a noble taught him some basic magic skills, and dueling, as the other nobles often did. Killing his guards, and losing his old name, Khan escaped to the high seas.
Rapier; Flintlock Pistol; Leather Armor
Destroyed a fleet and a town with a tornado. Destroyed an army by rolling the game's first 10.
Captain of the Tallow-Gem
33 Humans; 8 Saurii; Sir Thellren (Mount: Wyvern)
Proficient Glaring (+2); Dual-Wielder (+1)
*stares off into the distince for a second* "i dont like that subject"
Two cutlasses; Adamantine chain shirt
Great Alchemist (+2); Dabbling Brewer
Flintlock pistol and cutlass
Jets is a young Skrill ,that pursued his dream to become an pirate; while his parents disagreed he ran away from home until he became a member of a pirate group
Flintlock Pistol; Steel Cutlass
Title: Ruiner of Plots; Suicide Rat
Allies:Extremely Tough (+2)
Very Agile
Captain of the Ozymandias
Steel Plate armor and greaves, Steel Shield, Steel Axe
Captain of the Ozymandias
7 High Elves; 2 Skaven; 8 dwarves; 30 humans; 1 Sapphire Knight Templar (Mount-Griffin); 7 Sapphire Knights (Mount-Warhorse)
Extremely Tough (+2)
Strong
Grandmaster of the Order of the Sapphire, Lord of Udragoth
Steel Plate armor and greaves, Steel Shield, Steel Longsword; Mount: Blue Dragon "Glimmerscale"
Grandmaster of the Order of the Sapphire, Lord of Udragoth
22 Sapphire Knights (Mount: Warhorse), 26 Peasants
Banished from the Ogre Kingdoms, Ragnarok makes his living as the bodyguard and servant of Captain Boozebeard. They have served together for years, and he has sharpened his combat skills on many a foe.
Legendary Wrestler; Necromancer
This Demon was only now created. Do with him as you will, Diakron
Former and Current First mate of the Fugly Duckling, now the Fresh-Prince of Tallair.
Cutlass, pirate-y clothing
Strong(+1)
Extremely Tough
Very Agile
Steel Plate armor and greaves, Steel Two-handed sword
Strong(+1)
Extremely Tough
Very Agile
Mithril Plate armor and greaves, Steel Two-handed sword; Mount: White Wyvern
Deafening his opponents with his screeching voice.
There's nothing to say that he hasn't already told you, in his own, pain-inflicting way.
Probably something really awesome.
Shrouding Robes; The Sword of Fuck-You-Up
Resistant to Badass Decay (+1 to all rolls after the first ten turns he exists in.)
EnemiesIs either the chieftain that originally obtained the fire mage's precious artifact, or the one that replaced him.
Survived a 10 (If he's not a boss, then he's the luckiest mook ever.)
Techinically God, but let's go with Human
He's Jesus. Is that not enough?
Prisoners1 Fire Mage
Environment:The Lizardman chieftain points at the ten of you, and extends one finger. You can only assume that it means the same in both of your languages, and that he is challenging you specifically.
Locations:The Open Road.
Let me know if I've made any errors.
So yeah....
I don't know how anyone's gonna top that. Maybe you could make a volcano or something, but... Jeez, that's... that's just going to be HARD.
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Topic: ARRRRRR T D! Turn 35! Redwall Has Nothing on Cookie (Read 57046 times)