TURN NINE! A SQUIRREL, A DUCK, AND A MIRACLE!
I... CLIMB TO THE CROW'S NEST!!!
[5] Christ on a cracker, you did it! In a feat of nearly impossible agility, you reach the top, defying all laws of irony, comedy and physics combined. You reach the crow's nest, and for the first time in your life you can fulfill your duties as lookout! (+1 Agility)
Attempt to catch RAM if he falls.
You both stand there, dumbstruck as Blackjack makes her way up the ship's crow's nest. A couple dwarven pirates behind you hand over some gold pieces to their friend, save one who heads into the lower deck, and comes back up with an extraordinarily heavy chest of gold to give instead. Obviously, the odds of this happening were almost impossible -- 1 in 6, at least.
Get together my mixes of battle-enhancing spices, which steady aim, increase strength, and relive from pain(for a short while, and then you're on the ground for a while).
[3] Through all your culinary powers combined, I AM... Shit On a Shingle! [2] Unlike most SOS, however, you used actual shit! The sailors are horrified at this painful-to-swallow concoction, and fear for their lives as some discuss whether or not it was poisoned! (-1 to all allied combat roles during the next battle)
(AI) Laugh hysterically at Diakron's misfortune.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
One more time i try to wrestle 
[1] As you meet up with your new sparring partner, you find with horror that he pulls out a mace, and swings at your [1] face! [3] You attempt to dodge too late, and he hits you with a solid blow! [1] It shatters most of the bones in your head, [1] sending you hurtling [6] into a giant squirrel! Roll to (not) die! [6] You survive, but you will most assuredly be out for the battle that has just begun.
Characters:From the Mountainhomes of The Crescent of Dawning, Urist has enjoyed a priveliged life, but always wanted to go on an adventure. So, he decided to learn about being on a boat. He was offered a job, and accepted, not realizing who exactly his employer was.
Has taken as a child by Kobolds and traded to humans, who forced into slavery on a privateer. He has no idea of his Dwarf name but uses Silverlash (a name from an older dwarf that tuaght him English [or whatever we speak on this world]) now that he is free. Is very fierce and is almost too human-like to be around dwarfs.
Fucked-up Face
Extreme Pain
Navigator; Novice Axedwarf!
Steel Battle Axe; mysterious liquid
Proficient Cook/Brewer; Dabbling Magic
A cook who has traveled the world searching for new exotic dishes and spices. He keeps a chest full of the rarest and most exquisite spices he finds on his journeys, and intends to one day make, as he calls it, "my Feast," the culmination of all his skill and knowledge, with the use of all his precious spice possessions.
She was sold into slavery to pay off her gambling debts, but the ship she was being taken to her buyer on was destroyed by pirates. After being washed ashore she realised that there was nothing left of her old life and she was better off letting the world think that she was dead. With no place in civilised society she has signed up with a pirate crew and never looked back.
She doesn't gamble any more but has a habit of leaving playing cards that explode.
Dabbling Mechanic; Novice Ambusher; Marksgoblin
Exiled by his own race for being a little nuts, he has taken to become pirate. Has an unhealthy obsession with machinery and technology of all sorts. His ability to actually use two pistols at the same time effectively makes him a valuable asset in each team, as one glance at him tends to make the opponents wish they would have brought their brown pants.
One flintlock pistol, one two-shot pistol steel helmet
Enemies:1 Human Sloop,
Fugly Duckling uncounted crew. Captain Farceface
Environment:As you finally reach your destination, a ship appears on the horizon! It is a sloop, obviously Human by its construction. It is from the Kingdom of Roads, known for its hatred of land pathways. The ship is the Fugly Duckling, commanded by Captain Archibald Farceface of the Roadanian navy, who instantly recognizes the ship of Boozebeard, and tells his men to prepare for battle.
For the next two hours, your ships circle one another, firing shots but scoring only a couple minor hits. Boozebeard orders a boarding action, and the ships pull together. Lines are cast, planks are placed, and ropes hang at the ready. To battle, me hearties!
Locations:A small, sorry-looking sloop, carrying a dozen cannons and is painted white with a green trim. Possibly the ugliest thing you've ever seen float besides its previous incarnation, the Mad Hatter.
*Blackjack Blue
*Edward "Silverlash" Teach
*ToonyManner
*Urist McPirate
*Axle "Two Holes" Gear
*Fre "Cookie" Blackflag
*Unknown crew members
*Captain Boozebeard
*Ragnarok, Boozebeard's Ogre bodyguard.
Let me know if I've made any errors.
I know Errol hasn't posted, but I don't know when I'll be able to update this for the next few days, so I wanted to get this up. Oh, and Diakron, I really tried. The first try had you just flat-out explode, the second had you fall off the ship, and the third had that random squirrel to a pile of gunpowder and a lit match. You'll be out of, for certain.
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Topic: ARRRRRR T D! Turn 35! Redwall Has Nothing on Cookie (Read 56419 times)