TURN 34! THE RETURN OF THE BUTTAHFLY
Fight off enemies to save RAM.
[4] These lizardmen are heavily armored, and absorb most of your blows, but you do manage to clear a path to your injured comrade so others may heal her.
Throw my axe at the lizardman leader and retrieve the talisman and the thrown axe.
You toss your axe, Armok guiding it directly at the lizardman leader. [4] The axe ends up embedded in the chieftain's leg, cutting some tendons and forcing him to the ground.
me seeing team mate injured = BLOODRAGE!!! put ring on and ask the spirit to help my cause.
afterwards pray to Armok explaining that i meant to preform a Bushido overdrive that was sword based, not try to be disrespectful to the Almighty Armok
You decide to pray to Armok first, since you have no idea what could happen when you put on that ring. [6] Armok accepts your apology, but notes that for the sake of all, he cannot mess with the space-time continuum to give you your attack back.
After that's done, you slip on the ring, [5] And suddenly find yourself in a misty gray dimension. You appear to be floating through empty space, except for a small window in front of you. After a short while, you manage to figure out how to maneuver and float over to it. On the outside, you see... You. He's killing a lot of lizardmen, but that wasn't what you wanted. You attempt to gain control again, [5] and now find yourself in a pitch black room with a single source of light at the center. You approach it to see a ghastly figure floating a few inches off the ground. It's massive, around the size of a particularly large human, and covered in blank white robes. There is a hood shrouding its face, and upon closer inspection you discover that the face is in reality a bleached skull, with two red dots that must serve as eyes in the center of his eye sockets. [2] It seems aware of your presence, but does nothing. Your attempts to communicate do not seem to make him want to speak any more.
More Chicken Soup for RAM
[4+3] In record time, you create some chicken soup. It was probably Remy's help; he's quite the little chef. The two of you carry a massive bowl of it over to your friend's shattered body, and manage to pour some down her throat. [6] In a miracle, once again, the bleeding stops almost instantly, and the bones begin to re-align themselves as well. It will take a bit more time before she is able to move again, though.
Pray to Doomeddice, the god of lost causes, that I may one day go through a campaign without almost dying due to some perfectly ordinary activity(climbing, eating)
[4] Doomeddice says "Maybe". But he also points out that you at least get healed eventually. Like now.
FIX MY NOSE UP... using secret goblin cybernetic techniques.
[5-1] You manage to perform surgery on yourself, using technology and techniques that do not exist, and craft yourself a cybernetic nose. However, there is a mustache, and glasses with funny eyebrows attached. (Technically a Cyborg! Item gained, Stupid Nose! -1 to all charisma-related actions!)
Run to Blackjack and attempt to save her.
[4] As you get towards RAM, you notice Cookie and his rat running towards her with a giant bowl of soup. You spare your sanity and look away.
fuck this shooting, expand the air within Crw'thot's lungs while forcing more air down his throat, effectively causing his lungs to burst like a balloon.
[5+4] You extend your hand in a gripping motion, and notice that Crw'thot grips his own chest and stares at it in a mixture of pain and shock. You lift him up into the air, by the lungs (a very painful process) and clench your fist as tightly as you can. [2] However, in a near suicidal attempt, the chieftain fills his lungs with
fire to eat up all the oxygen you're using to pop him. Against all odds, this works, and he falls back to ground in agony, but still alive.
go kill the leader dude
After explaining what "bad" means, you leave your son where you think he'll be safe and leap at the lizardman chieftain! [4][4] [5][6] You jab both of your blades into the Chieftain's neck, and rip them out as painfully as you can. The chieftain collapses to the ground, blood oozing from his wounds. You can see he is dying now, but something in him keeps him going, and he throws you off with a roar.
Communicate with the other minds to stop resisting and let me do something. the thing i i do is mix a potion that will elimante the other 2 minds (not mine)
[6][2] You convince one mind that you deserve the be in control, but the other doesn't trust you. You decide to force it out of your way, [5] which you manage, and get to work crafting a potion to help you eliminate these other minds. [3+2] You hastily concoct the perfect elixir, and down it before the other minds can stop you. With a howl, they both fade away. You are fully in control of this body now.
Allied ActionsCoup de Grace
[3+4] Unsure of what his action means, he decides to just be done with it and smash the enemy lizard. [2] However, as he charges, he notices someone come out of the woods. Could it possibly be...?
"BUTTAHFLY?"
Enemy ActionsDisco Inferno
[6+4] Oh bugger, not this again. With all his remaining strength, the chieftain creates a raging twister of fire, and engulfs everyone nearby. [3] He manages to pull [2] Redwarrior and Errol into it, somehow. [5, 5] However, they both manages to take cover and avoid the raging flame.
With his last spell catastrophically failed, the lizard falls to the ground, dead.
Characters:Competent Gunner; Novice Thrower
From the Mountainhomes of The Crescent of Dawning, Urist has enjoyed a priveliged life, but always wanted to go on an adventure. So, he decided to learn about being on a boat. He was offered a job, and accepted, not realizing who exactly his employer was.
Not smote by Armok; Blessing of Armok's Accuracy
Pistoleer; Armokian Priest;
Has taken as a child by Kobolds and traded to humans, who forced into slavery on a privateer. He has no idea of his Dwarf name but uses Silverlash (a name from an older dwarf that tuaght him English [or whatever we speak on this world]) now that he is free. Is very fierce and is almost too human-like to be around dwarfs.
Flintlock Pistol, silver Ring of Unknown Power; Chainmail of Armok; enchanted cutlass
Champion of Armok(?); Priest of Armok
Great Demon of Armok, Nk'tosh G'vallowlk (slave); 50 Skeletal Warrior Thralls
Navigator; Novice Axedwarf!
Steel Battle Axe; Power Armor with Laser Cannon
Captain of the Fresh-Prince of Tallair
1 Skaven; 1 Wood Elf; 2 High Elfs; 2 Goblins; 2 Dwarves; 25 Humans; 2 Sapphire Knights (Mount: Warhorse) 1 Minotaur, "Rajiv"; 2 Ogres; 1 Mountain Troll, "Urgrost"; 2 Orcs
Grand Master Cook/Brewer (+3 to cooking); Dabbling Magic(Not sure what he'll do with it, as he's a dwarf. Probably a plot hook.); Marksdwarf(+1 to archery)
A cook who has traveled the world searching for new exotic dishes and spices. He keeps a chest full of the rarest and most exquisite spices he finds on his journeys, and intends to one day make, as he calls it, "my Feast," the culmination of all his skill and knowledge, with the use of all his precious spice possessions.
Olgar McFlannigenshabenflibenschutz (Companion); Remy the Rat
Chicken Health Potion; Potion of the Bear; Wolfhair Vial; Potion of Diced Cheetah
Lookout; Pyromancer (+1); Dabbling Flyer
She was sold into slavery to pay off her gambling debts, but the ship she was being taken to her buyer on was destroyed by pirates. After being washed ashore she realised that there was nothing left of her old life and she was better off letting the world think that she was dead. With no place in civilised society she has signed up with a pirate crew and never looked back.
She doesn't gamble any more but has a habit of leaving playing cards that explode.
MANGLED FACE; BROKEN EVERYTHING (In process of healing)
Very Strong (+2)
Agile
Very Tough
Dabbling Mechanic; Novice Ambusher; Marksgoblin; Dabbling Barterer; Dabbling Energy Operator; Dabbling Debater
Exiled by his own race for being a little nuts, he has taken to become pirate. Has an unhealthy obsession with machinery and technology of all sorts. His ability to actually use two pistols at the same time effectively makes him a valuable asset in each team, as one glance at him tends to make the opponents wish they would have brought their brown pants. Also Jesus in disguise.
One flintlock pistol, one two-shot pistol, steel helmet,
Medic; Novice Rifle-goblin; Dabbling Skinner
A Goblin fresh out of medical school (Or, at least that's what they called it), Luke had wished to settle down and start his own private practice. That was, until he was drafted. Luke was forced through basic training, constantly punished for his lack of respect for his officers, and defected as soon as he could.
Flintlock Rifle; Plate Armor; Four-shot rifle
Duelist; Legendary Wind Mage (+4); Dabbling Negotiator; Dabbling Life-Giver
Born to noble descent, "killer" quickly realized that spending his life in a castle was not meant for him, his years as a noble taught him some basic magic skills, and dueling, as the other nobles often did. Killing his guards, and losing his old name, Khan escaped to the high seas.
Rapier; Flintlock Pistol; Leather Armor
Destroyed a fleet and a town with a tornado. Destroyed an army by rolling the game's first 10.
Captain of the Tallow-Gem
33 Humans; 8 Saurii; Sir Thellren (Mount: Wyvern)
Proficient Glaring (+2); Dual-Wielder (+1)
*stares off into the distince for a second* "i dont like that subject"
Two cutlasses; Adamantine chain shirt
Great Alchemist (+2); Dabbling Brewer
Flintlock pistol and cutlass
Jets is a young Skrill ,that pursued his dream to become an pirate; while his parents disagreed he ran away from home until he became a member of a pirate group
Flintlock Pistol; Steel Cutlass
Title: Ruiner of Plots; Suicide Rat; is an Acidic Demon
Allies:Extremely Tough (+2)
Very Agile
Captain of the Ozymandias
Steel Plate armor and greaves, Steel Shield, Steel Axe
Captain of the Ozymandias
7 High Elves; 2 Skaven; 8 dwarves; 30 humans; 1 Sapphire Knight Templar (Mount-Griffin); 7 Sapphire Knights (Mount-Warhorse)
Extremely Tough (+2)
Strong
Grandmaster of the Order of the Sapphire, Lord of Udragoth
Steel Plate armor and greaves, Steel Shield, Steel Longsword; Mount: Blue Dragon "Glimmerscale"
Grandmaster of the Order of the Sapphire, Lord of Udragoth
22 Sapphire Knights (Mount: Warhorse), 26 Peasants
Banished from the Ogre Kingdoms, Ragnarok makes his living as the bodyguard and servant of Captain Boozebeard. They have served together for years, and he has sharpened his combat skills on many a foe.
Legendary Wrestler; Necromancer
This Demon was only now created. Do with him as you will, Diakron
Former and Current First mate of the Fugly Duckling, now the Fresh-Prince of Tallair.
Cutlass, pirate-y clothing
Strong(+1)
Extremely Tough
Very Agile
Steel Plate armor and greaves, Steel Two-handed sword
Strong(+1)
Extremely Tough
Very Agile
Mithril Plate armor and greaves, Steel Two-handed sword; Mount: White Wyvern
Deafening his opponents with his screeching voice.
There's nothing to say that he hasn't already told you, in his own, pain-inflicting way.
Probably something really awesome.
Shrouding Robes; The Sword of Fuck-You-Up
Resistant to Badass Decay (+1 to all rolls after the first ten turns he exists in.)
Techinically God, but let's go with Human
He's Jesus. Is that not enough?
Prisoners1 Fire Mage
Environment:The lizardmen see their chieftain fall, and flee back into the forest. Meanwhile, the fire mage is yelling like an insane bugger, telling you to untie him and get him the amulet.
Locations:The Open Road.
Let me know if I've made any errors.
I'm honestly rather disappointed in myself for this. I tried to make a boss fight both challenging and not requiring thousands of dice rolls. What I get instead is someone that insta-gibs one person, then dies. I'm sure I'll find some way to balance that, but for now it really, really bugs me.
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Topic: ARRRRRR T D! Turn 35! Redwall Has Nothing on Cookie (Read 56390 times)