TURN 30! ARMA II WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE!
Laugh at Ragnarok.
[2] You choke on your own spit.
Tell Jesus that I am mostly satisfied with the weapon. Ask him for two more favors: give the axe lightning, and make it so only my enemies hear the thunder.
[1] Jesus facepalms over the fact you couldn't figure out that it was a joke. You asked for an axe of lightning, and he gave you an axe of thunder! Get it??
go to local church and get ordained into Armok's Priesthood, N'ktosh can do as he please this turn. he's been a good worker for me and deserves some R&R
[6] After dividing your skeletons into squads, you head to the church, but are shocked that instead of people, blood demons are running it! When you announce your shock, the head "priest" reminds you that you killed the actual Monks in combat. They have been replaced by more... Armok-friendly creatures. Namely, demons who live for nothing but bloodshed and killing. Makes sense to you, so you ask to sign up. [4] The demons gladly accept you, and hand you a black robe with quite literal BLOOD-red trim. You don it on top of your armor, and wonder what to do now that you are a Priest. (Now a priest of Armok!)
Nk'Tosh takes his free time to relax, and stretches out his tired muscles. He manages to set a house on fire doing this.
Experiement with Bear Meat to create some food that grants a temporary (or permenant) boost in strength. If I'm successful, write it down.
[5] You raid a local kitchen for some bear meat, and get to work cooking. [4+2] You carefully document the formula, and give it to a rat that has been assisting you make the concoction. He rapidly grows to the size of a Dalmatian, lifts the table into the and funnels all the cheese into his mouth in a hungry rage. You jot down that while highly effective, the recipe seems to make whoever drinks it extremely aggressive. You also note that after some time, the potion has not worn off. You keep in mind that its effects may be permanent. (Recipe Gained: Potion of the Bear! Follower, Remy the Rat gained unless you don't want a homicidal rat following you around; of course, we both know that no one would pass up that opportunity. Right?)
I learn flying.
[5] You soar into the sky, flapping your wings with glee as they carry you high above the sleepy village, now preparing to march to war. You look down on all your friends and notice that they look like mere ants from this height. Mmm... very tasty, plump ants... (+1 to flying!)
Read.
[5] You take notes about the many ancient Dwarf civilizations, and the great cataclysm known only by one name, that devoured all but one kingdom in a hellish fire. The texts refer to it as "The Great Flood From Boatmurdered".
Practice with my rifle. I need to shoot something.
[3] You take a few shots at the rotting corpse of the Grandmaster Monk, but most miss by a few inches.
I'll change my action to attempt to use my wind powers to breath "life" into stonemt creation, giving it power and life of it's own.
[5] You breathe a gentle gust of wind into the golem, and its gaping maw shuts, its solid white eyes blink. It comes to life, and reaches its full height, almost 20 feet. It looks at itself, and stares at John who it identifies as its creator. (+1 God?)
"Da..da?" Sadly, it appears to have only the mind of a child.
grab a pile of dirt and try to make a golem
[4] Inspired by your miraculous healing, you attempt to make a servant golem. You do so, but sadly it has no life. At least, until Khan gives it life. You wonder what to name the childish creature.
Create a potion that transforms you into a dragon for 1 day
[1] You mix a few ingredients, but like so many others this potion blows up in your face.
Allied ActionsLET THE MARCH BEGIN!
Boozebeard announces that it is time to begin the journey to Sillon. It shall take two days on foot.
NO MORE BUTTAFLY?
Ragnarok fights back a tear, as he is dragged away by Elegost, and waves at his butterfly friend.
"BYE BYE, LITTLE FRIEND!"
Characters:From the Mountainhomes of The Crescent of Dawning, Urist has enjoyed a priveliged life, but always wanted to go on an adventure. So, he decided to learn about being on a boat. He was offered a job, and accepted, not realizing who exactly his employer was.
Pistoleer; Armokian Priest
Has taken as a child by Kobolds and traded to humans, who forced into slavery on a privateer. He has no idea of his Dwarf name but uses Silverlash (a name from an older dwarf that tuaght him English [or whatever we speak on this world]) now that he is free. Is very fierce and is almost too human-like to be around dwarfs.
Flintlock Pistol, silver Ring of Unknown Power; Chainmail of Armok; enchanted cutlass
Champion of Armok(?); Priest of Armok
Great Demon of Armok, Nk'tosh G'vallowlk (slave); 23 Skeletal Warrior Thralls
Navigator; Novice Axedwarf!
Steel Battle Axe; Power Armor with Laser Cannon
Captain of the Fresh-Prince of Tallair
1 Skaven; 1 Wood Elf; 2 High Elfs; 2 Goblins; 2 Dwarves; 25 Humans; 2 Sapphire Knights (Mount: Warhorse) 1 Minotaur, "Rajiv"; 2 Ogres; 1 Mountain Troll, "Urgrost"; 2 Orcs
Master Cook/Brewer (+2 to cooking); Dabbling Magic(Not sure what he'll do with it, as he's a dwarf. Probably a plot hook.); Marksdwarf(+1 to archery)
A cook who has traveled the world searching for new exotic dishes and spices. He keeps a chest full of the rarest and most exquisite spices he finds on his journeys, and intends to one day make, as he calls it, "my Feast," the culmination of all his skill and knowledge, with the use of all his precious spice possessions.
Olgar McFlannigenshabenflibenschutz (Companion); Remy the Rat (If you wish)
Chicken Health Potion; Potion of the Bear
Lookout; Pyromancer (+1); Dabbling Flyer
She was sold into slavery to pay off her gambling debts, but the ship she was being taken to her buyer on was destroyed by pirates. After being washed ashore she realised that there was nothing left of her old life and she was better off letting the world think that she was dead. With no place in civilised society she has signed up with a pirate crew and never looked back.
She doesn't gamble any more but has a habit of leaving playing cards that explode.
Very Strong (+2)
Agile
Very Tough
Dabbling Mechanic; Novice Ambusher; Marksgoblin; Dabbling Barterer; Dabbling Energy Operator; Dabbling Debater
Exiled by his own race for being a little nuts, he has taken to become pirate. Has an unhealthy obsession with machinery and technology of all sorts. His ability to actually use two pistols at the same time effectively makes him a valuable asset in each team, as one glance at him tends to make the opponents wish they would have brought their brown pants. Also Jesus in disguise.
One flintlock pistol, one two-shot pistol, steel helmet,
Medic; Novice Rifle-goblin; Dabbling Skinner
A Goblin fresh out of medical school (Or, at least that's what they called it), Luke had wished to settle down and start his own private practice. That was, until he was drafted. Luke was forced through basic training, constantly punished for his lack of respect for his officers, and defected as soon as he could.
Flintlock Rifle; Plate Armor; Four-shot rifle
Duelist; Legendary Wind Mage; Dabbling Negotiator; Dabbling Life-Giver
Born to noble descent, "killer" quickly realized that spending his life in a castle was not meant for him, his years as a noble taught him some basic magic skills, and dueling, as the other nobles often did. Killing his guards, and losing his old name, Khan escaped to the high seas.
Rapier; Flintlock Pistol; Leather Armor
Destroyed a fleet and a town with a tornado.
Captain of the Tallow-Gem
33 Humans; 8 Saurii; Sir Thellren (Mount: Wyvern)
Proficient Glaring (+2); Dual-Wielder (+1)
*stares off into the distince for a second* "i dont like that subject"
Two cutlasses; Adamantine chain shirt
Great Alchemist (+2); Dabbling Brewer
Flintlock pistol and cutlass
Jets is a young Skrill ,that pursued his dream to become an pirate; while his parents disagreed he ran away from home until he became a member of a pirate group
Flintlock Pistol; Steel Cutlass
Title: Ruiner of Plots; Suicide Rat
Allies:Extremely Tough (+2)
Very Agile
Captain of the Ozymandias
Steel Plate armor and greaves, Steel Shield, Steel Axe
Captain of the Ozymandias
7 High Elves; 2 Skaven; 8 dwarves; 30 humans; 1 Sapphire Knight Templar (Mount-Griffin); 7 Sapphire Knights (Mount-Warhorse)
Extremely Tough (+2)
Strong
Grandmaster of the Order of the Sapphire, Lord of Udragoth
Steel Plate armor and greaves, Steel Shield, Steel Longsword; Mount: Blue Dragon "Glimmerscale"
Grandmaster of the Order of the Sapphire, Lord of Udragoth
22 Sapphire Knights (Mount: Warhorse), 26 Peasants
Banished from the Ogre Kingdoms, Ragnarok makes his living as the bodyguard and servant of Captain Boozebeard. They have served together for years, and he has sharpened his combat skills on many a foe.
Legendary Wrestler; Necromancer
This Demon was only now created. Do with him as you will, Diakron
Former and Current First mate of the Fugly Duckling, now the Fresh-Prince of Tallair.
Cutlass, pirate-y clothing
Strong(+1)
Extremely Tough
Very Agile
Steel Plate armor and greaves, Steel Two-handed sword
Strong(+1)
Extremely Tough
Very Agile
Mithril Plate armor and greaves, Steel Two-handed sword; Mount: White Wyvern
Deafening his opponents with his screeching voice.
There's nothing to say that he hasn't already told you, in his own, pain-inflicting way.
Probably something really awesome.
Shrouding Robes; The Sword of Fuck-You-Up
Resistant to Badass Decay (+1 to all rolls after the first ten turns he exists in.)
Techinically God, but let's go with Human
He's Jesus. Is that not enough?
Prisoners1 Fire Mage
Environment:Your party heads west, with Earnest's army heading the advance. The rest of you ride inside many horse-drawn carriages and wagons, enjoying the ride while you can. Blackjack the Dragon flies high above the party, keeping watch for any predators... or prey. The Captains all ride with their first mates in the largest carriage, while the rest of you are in wagons behind them, excluding John, who rides on the shoulder of his Golem. Ragnarok is pulling the Captains' Carriage, determined to hug the rabbit just inches from reach.
Jesus marches at the rear, mysteriously tagging along. He appears to be chatting with the deceased spirits of the monks you killed.
Locations:The Open Road.
Let me know if I've made any errors.
We've reached a milestone. Thirty turns without it all blowing up in my face. That's better than I thought I'd do, honestly.
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Topic: ARRRRRR T D! Turn 35! Redwall Has Nothing on Cookie (Read 56448 times)