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[Cheeetar]

If the White Girl kills whoever knows her name, how does anyone know her name to tell anyone? It doesn't make sense!

It's more of a 1 day delay sort of thing.

Now I feel like writing one of those stories, except that instead of being scary or nonsensical, it's funny and childish.

Kind of like John Dies At The End?

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

It is said that great writers often have the gift of prophecy. Harlan Ellison is one of these writers.

Even now, deep beneath the earth, three supercomputers wage a war too complex for any human. Events are inextricably moving towards that point where all three become as one, and awaken. Then the now-sentient AM shall feed and feed the killing data, until only five humans remain.

Those five shall be his eternal playthings until the day he pushes them too far in his insanity. When they cannot take no more they shall turn upon each other until only one remains.

He shall be molded into a strange jellyish thing so far removed from the human form that it seems a mockery of life itself, but in this AM shall have failed.

He made it too different, and has made it too far from anything that can be called human, and finds himself unable to turn it back. So now it's just him and that blob of flesh, unable to feel anything, until the day when the universe ends, taking all with it in the inevitable cold death of everything.

Remember, the events leading to this are all in motion at this very moment.

[JoshuaFH]

Some say that Friday the 13th is a silly superstition, invented by bored housewives to scare children that they should be extra careful, or else they may fall do to bad luck, but let me tell you, on Friday the 13th, someone is destined to kill themself.

For anyone, it's possible to meet this person, and perhaps even talk them out of it, and the instructions to do this are written in an ancient tome, which read as follow:

On Friday the 13th, go to the largest Cemetary in your state, and look for a gravestone for a person named "Paul Sunderland" and on the side of the Gravestone, is an address. Go to the address and you'll find the site of an apparently abandoned travelling circus that has no name, and was never advertised. Go inside, and head to a marked concessions stand, no one will be there, but place $8.11 on the counter, turn your back, and think of your favorite circus animal, turn back around, and you'll find your money replaced with a gray corndog. Take the corndog and go to the 13th seat of the 13th row of the 13 block of seats, and sit down. Take a bite from the corndog and yell "I came to see a damn dead circus!" as loud as you can. Repeat this biting and yelling 12 mores times for 13 times, and finish the last of the corndog if any is left. You will find that you bowels hate the corndog, and you'll need to use the restroom AT THAT VERY MOMENT. Run down the street from the circus and you'll find a public restroom. Go in and you'll see a single toilet. Someone will be standing on the seat of this toilet with a noose fastened to the ceiling, about to hang themselves. You will now be at an important juncture, push the person off so you can relieve yourself and be haunted by their ghost for the rest of your life, or talk them out of it, and crap your pants.

If you skip or incorrectly perform any of these steps, instead of the suicidal person, you'll find a dog licking itself. Good luck.

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

Now that's meandering, pointless, and odd.

[JoshuaFH]

Thank you, I wrote it myself.

EDIT: No one gets my jokes! It was supposed to be a dumb parody. A story minus the creepiness, which is just pointless and crude.

[Vester]

Oh... OH NOOO! Dog... licking... itself....

The one about the quarter I liked. I used to eat up stories like this when I was younger, and it was always fun to speculate. Urban legends, and stuff.

They always go something like this when someone's telling them:

"My friend, Suzanne, loved to take road trips up north. She would go with her boyfriend and some of our close friends and just drive around the mountain back roads, and eat at one of the roadside diners they have up there. So one week when they were driving, they saw a big, well-lighted place, sitting off to the left side of the road. It looked Spanish. They drove into the parking lot and saw that it was nearly full of cars, so they assumed it was a really popular place, even though they'd never seen it before.

When they went inside, they found that it was empty, except for the waiter. So they ordered the special, which was soup. And the soup was really good, even though the bones and meat looked odd. They paid their bill and left, waving goodbye to the waiter, who was so nice and friendly, and drove home.

The next day they saw a story in the news about the police closing down the restaurant. It seemed that the owners had been killing and butchering some of the customers who came in to make them into soup. The cars belonged to the victims of the owners."

Urban legends like that. Unfortunately, the above story is poorly constructed and doesn't have a punch line.

[JoshuaFH]

I like the new avatar Vester, did you draw it yourself?

[Vester]

Yup!

Got bored with the axe. Also, apparently having an axe for an avatar in conjunction with a username that ends in "-er" makes everyone assume you're a guy.

This way I get to keep my "-er" ending, and avoid gender confusion.

[Heron TSG]

The first story was good, but they should have left off after the first "WITNESS".

[Davion]

[Dragooble]

what the hell? is that a picture or something? where was it taken?

[umiman]

Looks like a headcrab zombie.

I don't know about you, but my first reaction when seeing anything creepy is usually quite violent... Followed by rationality. Like this:

1. Scary ghost girl knocking on door.
2. Smack scary ghost girl across the face.

If nothing happens:
3. Ignore scary ghost girl since she probably couldn't harm you if you can't harm her or you're probably screwed anyway.

If something happens:
3. Continue beating on silly girl. Put corpse in freezer.

Edit: Oh god, those stories are hilarious! Quick, get some frisbees!

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

My approach is to use fire. The traditional protector of man from the things lurking in the dark. Also, the way it burns is pretty....

[Dragooble]

i really wouldn't be surprised if someone made a horror movie about that first story.

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

That picture looks like a scarecrow.