Amongst the drifts of goblin bones, torn clothing and copper toys within the fortress city of Archold was found a diary written by the philosopher, Montigo Torchtributes. It contained details of a wide ranging baronial inquiry into the operations at Archold that he led, and other events of the year 208. The final report of the inquiry was never publicly released and, to this day the Dwarven government of Uvash Ushesh refuses to release any part of it due to "national security." The following is excerpts from that diary.
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1st Granite 208
The request that I had received from the Baron of Archold indicated that I would know I had arrived by the towering dwarfmade mountain that rose above the city. However, the sight that greeted me upon my arrival was far different from what I'd assumed. A half complete, irregular edifice rose above the walls that surrounded Archold.
I approached a farmer outside the walls of the city who was hauling some rock. "What's that?" I asked, pointing at the incomplete structure.
"That's Mount Archold," he said proudly, "it's become a symbol to the world that dwarves live here and will always live here."
"I see... And what are you doing out here?"
"Building roads."
At my quizical look he continued, "The Gobbos would hide amongst the trees around here and ambush anyone who had to come out and retrieve goods from the trade depot. If we surface the entire area, they'll have no cover."
"That sounds reasonable. So where can I find Baron Sibrek?"
I was given a confusing series of directions that would lead me to the noble's quarters and where the Baron was most likely to be and I proceeded into the fortress city.
2nd Granite 208
I finally found my way to the noble's quarters, this place is a maze to navigate. I swear I went through the kitchens at least three times before I found the stairs to the levels below. I found Baron Sibrek in bed with a broken arm. Apparently he wants me to investigate the causes of the riots of 207, measures to prevent more riots and also ways to make Archold run more smoothly. The Baron told me that he expected a final report after nine months but with periodic updates within that time. He also wants to see action on my recommendations well before the final report is released. He gave me a baronial proclamation that grants me the power to order action from the Mayor and all other relevant individuals... I could take over Archold with this proclamation if I wished.
3rd Granite 208
The Mayor provide me with an office that I could proceed with my inquiry from. The smartarse thought he'd be funny and said I could use the office above the magma. After I found out this was currently in the middle of the meeting hall, I quickly disabused him of the notion that he was a comedian and gained a private office for myself.
You can negotiate with me, flatter me, even intimidate me, but you'll never make me laugh.
10th Granite 208
The situation is poor in Archold. The quarters for the nobles are in disarray, with both the Hammerer and the Captain of the Guard living in the meeting hall. Apparently the meeting hall is also doubling as the jail. The story I heard from one farmer was that during the recent period of military dictatorship, everything was placed together so that the military could keep track of everyone and identify criminal elements more easily. To demolish the last vestiges of the old military dictatorship, I've recommended that suites for both the captain of the guard and the hammerer be built within the nobility wing and that a separate jail room be built on the level below the noble's quarters. It shall be a place of reform and correction, not a pit of repression and murder.
16th Granite 208
Apparently a rhesus macaque got slammed across the half finished killing fields and into the outer wall by the axe champion, Udib Manoryor. I heard the masons saying that from the right angle, the impact marks look like the face of Armok. All I saw was blood and fur and bits of brain matter on the wall and a huge amount of blood in the moat. Why is it that the masons are always the superstitious ones?
Blood, brains and rhesus macaque body parts. The trees sticking out of the moat were later seen coated in blood.
17th Granite 208
The elves have just arrived. The new broker, Thikut Helmedglacier said she was just going to sell them all the gobbo junk lying near the trade depot. My reply to her, "Why are you telling me? It's not my job to approve what you sell to the outside world, now why don't you go play with your elves?"
She didn't take it particularly well and sulked off. Perhaps she's a racist and thought that I would share her hatred of the pointy eared treehuggers. Well I'm not, and if she tries that crap on me again when the humies arrive, I'm going to have her arrested for inciting racial hatred.
26th Granite 208
I've been seeing currency lying all over the fortress for since I arrived. I must say I was surprised to see it at all, I would have thought that, since the Mountainhome, Groovedlashed, uses Dwarven Credit, that Archold would too. Yet here we are with pyhsical currency, lying around forgotten by those who it belongs to. Sure, Dwarven Credit has it's problems too; pig tail sock futures bubbles and credit loans to unemployed gemcutters for some overpriced housing close to the waterfalls of Groovedlashed for instance. But it does have its upside. I must say that I found it easier to tell merchants that I paid them 600☼ for my giant cave spider silk gloves and they said that they'd taken 600 from my account and it was all magically done. Also, who didn't get a chuckle out of dwarven merchant bankers throwing themselves to their deaths down the central shaft of the Mountainhome when the pig tail sock futures bubble collapsed?
All that aside, I recommended to the Baron that we attempt to implement the Dwarven Credit system here and lock as much physical currency as we can somewhere away from the public. It's that or melt the stuff down.
15th Slate 208
It seems that Thikut didn't take my comments particularly well and decided to leave the pointy ears cooling their heels for almost an entire month before trading with them. It seems she acquired more alcohol and some plants for the city. In other news, we've gotten an accurate figure on the city's wealth. It currently stands at 1,059,260☼, with another 454,207☼ in imports and 19,609☼ in exports. I find the last two numbers astonishing. How has Archold imported so much and yet exported so little? I think it's time for a chat with the Hoardmaster.
16th Slate 208
The pointy ears left today; hopefully returning to the shrubs which they crawled out from. Thikut cut it fine with her sulkfest; it would've been a grave embarrassment for Archold if the pointy ears left without trading with us.
I also talked to the Hoardmaster, Zulban Ancienttrumpets; he's also the Captain of the watch. It seems that our "imports" also includes all possessions dropped by dead gobbos and kobolds. He couldn't give a good explanation as to why we include the possessions of those who wish to kill us as part of our imports, merely saying that it's always been done that way. Furthermore, he couldn't even give an accurate figure on how much these unwanted imports were valued at, merely, "a lot." Absolutely useless.
The answers I received on the topic of our exports bore more fruit. It seems that our exports only include goods we produce or change significantly ourselves. Also, much of what has been exported in the past has been the exact same gobbo trash that Thikut Helmedglacier hocked off to the pointy ears yesterday. I suppose that's one way to dispose of their trash.
On the topic of trash, I finally worked out why we were getting miasmas in the workhall and at the base of Mount Archold. The first is being caused by general refuse being thrown in with all the bones and skulls and bits (I even saw a dwarven skull in there! That's just not right, dwarven bones should be interred in a proper crypt or, at worst, their own graveyard!) and then the putrid stench wafts into the workhall when the bonecarver fetches more bones. The miasma at the base of Mount Archold appears to be because someone dug out the lower level of the original hill, but left the upper level present. I'll have to inform the Mayor to limit the internal refuse stockpile to just the nonstinky rubbish and organise a new refuse pile for all the stinky stuff.
18th Slate 208
The killing roads before the walls of Archold have been finished finally. Hopefully everyone employed surfacing that area will get back to their real jobs now.
20th Slate 208
I suggested to Udib Manoryor, who appears to be the unofficial military leader, that a pair of watchtowers flanking the entry to Archold might be useful and would provide closer access points to the ramparts of the walls. I pointed out that he could fit even more crossbowdwarfs upon them and that they could have a supply of bolts within the towers as well to maintain their attacks. The last thing I mentioned to him was that the entries of Groovedlashed are flanked by massive towers, bristling with ballistae and catapults. He seemed to go away thinking the idea over.
24th Slate 208
Many of the food stockpiles are becoming cluttered with various foodstuffs that they probably shouldn't hold. The westernmost stockpile is a prime example of this. It contained everything from fat to prepared meals and alcohol. Someone's even been storing... water. Who, in Armok's name, stores water? Why? What's the point? Sure we've got
nine ten (almost forgot the Baron) dwarves down with injuries, but that's no reason to keep the water they don't drink, that's why we have a well. Well (haha) the food stockpile mess should be sorted out now, with everything going in its appropriate place.
8th Felsite 208
I just climbed partway up Mount Armok. There's still food lying in the trade depot from the pointy ears. I didn't realise how slow it is to get anything done here until today. The Hammerer's suite was dug out a week or so ago and it's still not been smoothed by the engravers. The Captain of the Guard's suite hasn't even been dug yet. I bet it's a secret trade union go slow order. I'm tempted to recommend to the Baron that all trade unionists and their sympathisers be shut out and to employ scab labour to get things moving properly. There's dozens of unemployed milkers in Groovedlashed that would kill for the chance to get
any sort of work. Masons are also laying out foundations for a pair of towers flanking the entry to Archold, I wonder how tall they'll be...
11th Felsite 208
What the?! I just gave Baron Sibrek my latest inquiry update only to find, on my way out of his suite that the dwarven diplomat, Amost Lashedfist was here. This is no Hematite Fool's joke and nor is it Autumn. Apparently she's been waiting here since last Autumn to talk to the Baron, only she can't convince him to sign the trade agreement with his broken arm. I have no idea what shocks me more...
Apparently she runs into the room behind the Baron's suite and uses morse code to communicate with him.
19th Felsite 208
I've just gotten word through the rumourmill that Muthkut Filledmansions the mason is up to something. I was concerned at first, thinking it was something that would require the talents of the Fortress Guard (two of whom are in bed with injuries [which is better than the Royal Guard, who are
all in bed with injuries]). However, the it appears that she is only creating some new artifact for the coffers of Archold... This may still require the talents of the Fortress Guard.
21st Felsite 208
Noticed that everything had been retrieved from the trade depot. About time. Bloody union leeches. In other about bloody time news, the Captain of the Guards' suite has been dug out along with the currency vault. Maybe the engravers will have finished their work upon the new diggings by the end of summer as well.
27th Felsite 208
Muthkut has successfully created a rhyolite grate, Truthobeyed the Violent Stroke. It's not much to behold, in my opinion. It's got bits of copper, iron, leather and giant cave spider silk all over it, and there's this image of a fire snake chiselled into it. Nice, I guess, but what does it do for the everyone else in Archold? Where's the uplifting deeds of heroes saving Archold from the onslaught of the foul gobbo hordes, brave miners digging ever deeper into the earth to find new riches to swell Archold's coffers? A story I heard from the mayor is that she's been seeing a psychiatrist to help with her fears and supposedly she's scared of fire snakes. It would explain why she's so jumpy whenever she's in the meeting hall, not that I've seen any fire snakes.
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Topic: Archold (Noob succession) (Read 14089 times)