...and that denies a ship that is
difficult to use to its full potency. Ah, balance!
Richthofen's apprentice is a stark contrast to the master of the trade. The first thing you notice is his unkempt, oily black hair- you're pretty sure that the oil in question is the variety used to ensure lubrication of a motor, and on further inspection, that it may actually be brown. Indeed it is noticeable from quite a distance. His facial hair is in a similar state of affairs, a bushy mustache and scraggly, half-shaven beard covering his red, squat face. He wears a faux-denim vest and a tee shirt, oil stained, and he arms are scarred and possible chemical burned, as well as being burly in the least attractive possible way. Below that he is covered in ripped denim jeans, and closed-toe sandals. The smell is repugnant- predominately of blood, sweat, and ferrous chloride (you took high school chemistry, didn't you?)
He turns off his radio, which is playing
music. Indeed, he shares the professor's taste for the German language. "Arright, now listin' co's imma gonna say this once- I've upgraded most a' yer ships, fixed yer damage, and whatnot. If yeh like it, remember yer tip."
"Naw, I was gonna put in the Von's machine guns- y' know, get some dakka goin'? But, yeh see, I'm also trying to make it faster, an'... 'zee weight of zee veapons iss not conduceev to zee increase is maximum velocity'." he quipped. "If yer tryn'a make it any faster, yer gonna have ter switch over ter an interceptor model- still workin' on 'at."
"Hoo-ee! Now this, it's my kinda ship! Yer new gazzillion-cals oughta chew 'em up! Ther range arn't good as blasters, but boy, they do a lot more damage! And
lookit that thing! Y'all could pick up chicks wittat! Oh, and I put a flak bit on der too, little extra protection."
"Hah, more guns! Not as good range as them blasters, but, more damage. Now, 'at got meh thinkin'- why do them bullits stop movin' in space anyway? In a near ab-so-loot vac-yoom, shiddin't they, like, continue ter be potent e'en after der intender terjectery is... nar, I lost me thar..."
Sorry, no fight tonight, on account of me not saving those and having to do them all twice. The rest of you will get more upgrades after more gameplay. Oh, and that little star destroyer is still a lot of pew pew, comparative to these ships- but we'll see. If it's ostensibly a pew pew ship, maybe it could pass...
WHY YES I AM AN IDIOT. PICTURES FIXED.