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[Time Kitten]

So, as many restlest dwarves who are otherwise useless in the mountain homes of The Halls of Stone, Kol Rampagedshoe was sent upon the journey to the blossoming mountain home of SpindleAbbys, perched upon the Hill of Hats, and facing the river of WonderSplat in the haunted forest of SpookySticks.

First to pass the puke lined gabbro bridge though are Kodon, the armourer, and Nil, the weaponsmith!  Only to increase the anticipation as you go on your toes only to watch as the skeletal deer in the area chase them down the river, leaving a clear path into your deathtrap... I mean... sanctuary, for Kol, he of no skill.

Oh, pray tell, mayor, sherif, and lords of dwarfie halls, what tool shall be placed into Kol's hands, if any at all?

That's right, you get to select Kol's path.  Will he have the one of a great many but still dwindling numbers of picks?  Will he stand in the meeting hall for years on end?  Shall he slave at the pumps, keeping the imaginary waters at bay?  You decide the fate of Kol, the possibilities are only limited by how many of your fellows will laugh at you.

[Mephansteras]

Hmm...I think he should be given an axe and forced to clearcut the forests as he fights off skeletal deer. Maybe be nice and give him a war dog to help him out, if any are available.

[Phantom]

He must spontaneously combust the moment we embark.

[Time Kitten]

And thus, Kol, the peasant, does pass through the gates, as Phantom's stooge races for the lever, but he is interupted be the pointlessness of it all, and goes to get stone drunk.  The second stooge pulls the lever not quite in time.

Kol turns around and gasps in aw as the magma gate is closed, hiding the world behind it's redish, gooey glow.  "Wonders of wonders, a heated enterance!: he admires, his mood improving to great.

Soon he is before Mephansteras, the Forger of Civilizations, kneeling in reverence.  "I am Kol," he declares, simple, "come to prove myself.  What tool may I be granted to show my worth."

And Mephansteras does grant him a profeshion, "Kol, you shall be woodcutter.  You shall dismiss the life from the scourge of trees that blocks us from striking down the menace of the undead as it appears.  You shall take this -Copper Battle Axe- and lay waste to the land.  By your side will be the mutt, Savage drool, and you shall join the long line of woodcutters that came before, or perhaps overcome challanges they could not, and recover the Steel Battle Axe that was lost earlier this season."

And so, dismissed and given purpose, Kol, Peasant with an Axe, walks pointfully back to the magma gate, prepared as much as not at all to face his challange.

[zchris13]

Give him a sock. A very nice sock.

[[P]sYDoNiA]

Don't forget about exploding elves into gore!

With the sock of course.

[Time Kitten]

So Kol did venture back out into the edges of the haunted forest of SpookySticks.  And LO! He did find a tree!  A rather glum, and prongy tree, but still a tree.  He screamed his battlecry and swung his Battle Axe, and THUNK THUNK, he whittled down the towering, menacing even, tree's health with his suppirior dwarvern agility.   A crack, a snap, and a crunch, the tree started to fall, and Kol ran as he was persued by the final blow of the vengful tree.  the branches crashed down around him, and he was knocked prone, but unharmed.

Though before his eyes was something amazing... hidden in the underbrush was a treasure of rope reed, a single *<<+Rope Reed Sock+>>*, it's thread dyed black, and sewn with circles in silvery silk.

He clutched his treasure to his chest as the ever faithful SacageDrool tugged him free of the branches by his toenails.  With his treasure on foot, no longer would he be plauged by the falling trees, for he had gained a level.

Kol, the novice Woodcutter, Agile.

[Nirur Torir]

I hope Kol is careful not to lose the *<<+Rope Reed Sock+>>* to a herd of wandering monkeys.

[Phantom]

Get a pick and mine like you never mined before!

[NUKE9.13]

Ignore Phantom and his minions.
Also

With his treasure on foot, no longer would he be plauged by the falling trees, for he had gained a level.

Does this mean the amount/quality of clothing is cause for levelling? If so, I support it.
Aaanyway.
Go and chop down some more trees.

[Time Kitten]

Mmm... more like rewards increase with level.  But lucky charms are lucky charms.

And thus Kol continued forth, hacking and slashing at the retreating forest, driving it back towards the river, crying out with joy as delerious visions of taking up a pick and hackiing through the earth just the same pass through his mind.  His skin seeming to harden like the rock even as his slogging speeds.

Woodcutter, agile, tough.

Wiping his brow he turns back towards the fortress, thirt tingling in his beard, but he gasps and pauses, for off to his left, the Rhesus menace approches, one cheering as they take his old, forsaken xPigtail Sockx and raise it above their heads.  SavageDrool barks, and charges forth after them, bt Kol watches on, a decicion in the works.

[Strife26]

Kol shall be given his own room with a bed and a cabinet to place the new-found sock.

[Mephansteras]

Monkeys! Draft him and let them fear the might of his axe! He must then learn to butcher and tan them, before returning once again to the forest.

[Time Kitten]

The dececion was made, and as horns sounded from the walls of the fortress, Kol charged forth into the screaming and scattering monkeys, swinging his axe unskillfully over the top of the first's head as he reached it.  Bt the monkey turned to grapple, and grabed his special sock.

"You...Shall... Not... HAVE!" declares Kol, the recruit, bringing his axe down, cleaving off it's arm, and again, splitting it's torso in two.  And so the battle raged, Kol not getting more than a bruised knuckle as he struck down two more, and Savagedrool, with a kinked tail, managed two kills of his own.

Levelup: novice axedwarf

Panting, and thirsty, and unable to recover his old sock, Kol stumbles home to finnally have a drink, and perhaps see what the kitchens have cooked up for him.