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[Holy Mittens]

A new weird quirk...

I used Dwarf Companion to briefly change the King into a Dwarven Champion. I was able to get him to pick up a hammer and shield, but he refused to take any armor. I don't know if that's because he is still considered too large (though he didn't pick up any of the crap lying around from the last elf siege) or what.

So my plan of having him fight a MegaBeast has hit a snag.

[Sensei]

Yep. He can wear human-sized armor, so hoard it if you get a human siege, or if you kill some human merchants.

[Wolfius]

Yep. He can wear human-sized armor, so hoard it if you get a human siege, or if you kill some human merchants.

Or buy it. Ya know, if you're feeling radically unconventional.

[Vester]

Yep. He can wear human-sized armor, so hoard it if you get a human siege, or if you kill some human merchants.

Or buy it. Ya know, if you're feeling radically unconventional.

The sad part is, buying the armor would be unconventional for most players.

[Sensei]

Haha! I'm SO unused to doing that, I never even considered that option. I practically forgot you can buy large clothing and armor.

[Wolfius]

Haha! I'm SO unused to doing that, I never even considered that option. I practically forgot you can buy large clothing and armor.

Buying the armour can be a decent source of metal, especially if the gobbos aren't importing their own brand.

[Vester]

Come to think of it, why do the humans even buy small dwarven armor? It's like they just want to melt it down, or something.

[Holy Mittens]

The "buying armor from humans" sounds like a good idea, but I just got sieged by them. Apparently, they're pissed off that their diplomat walked into the middle of a gibberling ambush several years ago and got totally killed (gibberlings being a modded civ that can't speak, are only size 4, but make up for it by having a base 400 speed, large damage natural attack, and good dam block). Though I guess that does still solve the problem, what with me now having a ton of their iron armor.

Also, like I said, I had stuff lying around from the elves at the time I tried it, but he wouldn't put it on. Also, I had changed him to a dwarf at the time to even get him to go put on the armor and stuff. No dice. I guess I can try again with what I have now.

[Sensei]

I like to imagine this is a factor of who's trading. Maybe your trade liaison tells them it's great armor for children (you MUST think of the children's safety!) or maybe they tell them you're giving them your armor as part of a disarming agreement. Maybe your liaison likes to say it's collectible. Maybe it has a 'one size fits all' label.

It's safe to assume humans aren't very smart, seeing as they pull all sorts of stupid things as-is.

[Neruz]

Come to think of it, why do the humans even buy small dwarven armor? It's like they just want to melt it down, or something.

To trade to other Dwarves?

[Vester]

Come to think of it, why do the humans even buy small dwarven armor? It's like they just want to melt it down, or something.

To trade to other Dwarves?

... That answer was actually sensible.

[Neruz]

Come to think of it, why do the humans even buy small dwarven armor? It's like they just want to melt it down, or something.

To trade to other Dwarves?

... That answer was actually sensible.

Except that the Humans never bring Dwarf sized equipment.

They must be hoarding it all in big caves underneath their cities.

[Fault]

Here's a small series of images inspired by this character's history.



1 Wife is killed and eaten by elves
2 Joins dwarven military
3 KILL ELFS

[Sensei]

I don't think it needs an explanation, it's like spelling out a joke.

It explains itself in its simplicity, that's what makes a joke (or a lot of things) good (and this does).

[Vester]

I like how his expression in the first panel is less "My darling wife has been devoured by my kin!" and more "WTF, man!"