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[G-Flex]

There's a good book: The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene.

Don't look at it as a 'guide to pick up chicks'. It's a nice read, with a lot of interesting stories, meant more for the intelligent types of people. If you guys enjoy arguing with people on forums and making up theories about how to seduce people, I'm sure you'd enjoy the book

Please tell me it's not one of those "seduction community" things about how to essentially manipulate women into sleeping with you by playing it like it's some sort of card game, and "dropping negs" and generally acting like a complete douche.

[Footkerchief]

Seconding/thirding/whatever that G-Flex's advice is solid, especially the "generalizations don't work" part.  Yes, there are enough women living the stereotype to keep the PUA community flush with success stories, but if you're not interested in that mating dance, the rules are pretty flexible.

The one part I would take slight issue with is #1 -- if hanging out for you means going to the comic shop and playing Warhammer, you won't meet girls.  That probably goes without saying though.

[Vester]

The one part I would take slight issue with is #1 -- if hanging out for you means going to the comic shop and playing Warhammer, you won't meet girls.  That probably goes without saying though.

Hey, I like comics! And so do some of my other (female) friends.

Not that I hang out at the comic store, but still, it's unfair to imply that girls don't like stuff people consider "geeky".

[eerr]

baaah, you people make this too complicated.

just go out and make friends with girls, and then you find a girlfriend.

eventually.

[JoshuaFH]

"Eventually" can be a very long time Eerr.

[Footkerchief]

Hey, I like comics! And so do some of my other (female) friends.

Not that I hang out at the comic store, but still, it's unfair to imply that girls don't like stuff people consider "geeky".

Oh yes, I agree.  And there probably is a girl somewhere who plays Warhammer at the comic shop.  I just meant that if all of your extracurriculars are nerdy AND hypermasculine, G-Flex's advice might not hold.

[eerr]

"Eventually" can be a very long time Eerr.

your supposed to have fun in the meantime, and afterward too.

if your just trying to get laid of course it's too long!

[Muz]

There's a good book: The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene.

Don't look at it as a 'guide to pick up chicks'. It's a nice read, with a lot of interesting stories, meant more for the intelligent types of people. If you guys enjoy arguing with people on forums and making up theories about how to seduce people, I'm sure you'd enjoy the book

Please tell me it's not one of those "seduction community" things about how to essentially manipulate women into sleeping with you by playing it like it's some sort of card game, and "dropping negs" and generally acting like a complete douche.

Lol, it's seriously a good, intelligently written book. Has a lot of stories to support the theories. I'm not even sure how to describe it in a way that doesn't sound stupid, but it's a good book. If you don't believe me, try and browse through it next time you see it in a book store. It's pretty much the same type of good material I'd find in "100 Most Influential People": it has a point, and it describes why it believes in the (controversial) point.

[DJ]

Treating girls like I treat my guy friends got me a ton of girl friends, but no girlfriends. I always had to act a bit sleazier, for lack of a better word, to avoid getting into the friend zone (it's a zone of no return, trust me).

And yeah, any place where girls are a minority is a bad place to look for one. In a comic shop, for example, they'll get hit on by dozens of geeks, so their shields will be on maximum and they'll be practically unapproachable. Approaching the same girl in a more neutral location could turn out to be a whole different story, though.

[Org]

Seconding/thirding/whatever that G-Flex's advice is solid, especially the "generalizations don't work" part.  Yes, there are enough women living the stereotype to keep the PUA community flush with success stories, but if you're not interested in that mating dance, the rules are pretty flexible.

The one part I would take slight issue with is #1 -- if hanging out for you means going to the comic shop and playing Warhammer, you won't meet girls.  That probably goes without saying though.

:V

Not always true.

[Vester]

Treating girls like I treat my guy friends got me a ton of girl friends, but no girlfriends. I always had to act a bit sleazier, for lack of a better word, to avoid getting into the friend zone (it's a zone of no return, trust me).

And yeah, any place where girls are a minority is a bad place to look for one. In a comic shop, for example, they'll get hit on by dozens of geeks, so their shields will be on maximum and they'll be practically unapproachable. Approaching the same girl in a more neutral location could turn out to be a whole different story, though.

Eergh, that really worked for you? Well, c'est la vie.

As to the "friend zone", well...

A couple of years ago one of my friends asked me out (we'd been friends for years by that time). We dated for awhile then broke up. For a few months after that it was completely awkward to be around him and we couldn't hang out at all.

So, yes, the friend zone can be broken out of, but it is a terrible idea to do so. Don't date close friends, if it ends badly then things get awkward.

[Aqizzar]

We already know that.  It's not getting trapped in the Friend Zone in first place that we can't figure out.

I have to say that I think it's shame how that works out.  Dating a long-time friend makes sense to me (because I've never really tried it obviously).  Trying to "pick up" a person you don't know is a minefield.  With a friend you've already got each other down pat.  It should work perfectly.

[Vester]

We already know that.  It's not getting trapped in the Friend Zone in first place that we can't figure out.

I have to say that I think it's shame how that works out.  Dating a long-time friend makes sense to me (because I've never really tried it obviously).  Trying to "pick up" a person you don't know is a minefield.  With a friend you've already got each other down pat.  It should work perfectly.

There's the problem, you know? It should work perfectly. The little faults and the little flaws shouldn't bother you. But they do, and they get magnified, and bleh, everything goes to hell. Also, he broke up with me, I was fairly okay with the relationship at that point. Anyway we're friends again, but that stumbling block remains and it's not a nice thing to have around.

But that's only my personal experience, I don't know if that's the kind of thing that happens to everyone else. I don't mean to be discouraging and all.

[smokingwreckage]

Women do not suddenly find men they know well attractive, it seems to me. You can become good friends afterwards, but it's like they know pretty early wether or not you fit the criteria for romance. I don't mind these days, having been married for about 10 years, and still "in love". What can I say, I was ridiculously lucky.

Anyway if you're like 15 and looking for a girlfriend, for the love of God/Armok/Darwin don't. Really don't. Enjoy your carefree youth and worry about that in a few years time. Your first couple of tries will be catastrophic and no amount of alcohol will wash away the bitter, bitter memories.

[G-Flex]

The one part I would take slight issue with is #1 -- if hanging out for you means going to the comic shop and playing Warhammer, you won't meet girls.  That probably goes without saying though.

Fair enough, but that's probably a sign that all your socializing shouldn't be done via Warhammer.

Not that I'm that much better.

I'm probably injecting a bit of my personal experience into these opinions, necessarily. I've always been sort of a loner, on the internet all the time, and never went out and "met people" in any sort of traditional way, yet still a surprising percentage of my good friends have been girls, and I've managed to find girlfriends anyway.

Really, even if the places you tend to go don't include many girls, odds are that some of the people you know are friends with some, and if you know one girl then you can potentially know something like eighty dozen through them. Or maybe I've just gotten consistently lucky about that, but I doubt it.