Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Vester]

What if my grade-same love interest is younger a year than me? I.E. me 14, she's 13?

Um that really shouldn't pose a big problem. Normally age isn't the problem, it's personalities that aren't compatible.

[Leafsnail]

60 percent haven't had sex until after high school? That's unusual.

More because people feel like they've failed if they haven't, so most people will say they have.  While you should certainly have a relationship if you can, there's no point in desperately searching for one just because you've "failed" if you haven't (interestingly, this pressure is often rather male.  If you haven't had sex by point x, you've, like, failed a man.  The pressure can be in the opposite direction with girls (hence the large number of derogatory terms aimed at "loose" women)).

[Vester]

60 percent haven't had sex until after high school? That's unusual.

More because people feel like they've failed if they haven't, so most people will say they have.  While you should certainly have a relationship if you can, there's no point in desperately searching for one just because you've "failed" if you haven't (interestingly, this pressure is often rather male.  If you haven't had sex by point x, you've, like, failed a man.  The pressure can be in the opposite direction with girls (hence the large number of derogatory terms aimed at "loose" women)).

I guess that's true to some degree (of my male friends who say they have had sex, maybe half of them are lying. I can tell because they lie poorly.) But what I meant was that for the 60 percent stat to be true then 40 percent of everyone who goes through high school was sexually active. That's why I said it was unusual.. the corresponding stat was way too high.

Also yeah that double standard ticks me off.

[Leafsnail]

The double standard barely makes sense anyway.  If you're a man, you have to have slept with x number of women.  If you're a women, if you've slept with y number of men you're a "slut" or one of the dozens of similar insults.  Since for every man sleeping with a woman there must also be a woman sleeping with a man, it just doesn't quite add up.

[Vester]

Also y < 2 more often than not.  I blame patriarchal society.

Back on topic.. in my experience high school romances which involve a lot of emotion (and not just sex) burn really hot and die fast. Neither I nor any of my friends have had a boyfriend who lasted into college.

The kick is that you learn from them. Also there are a lot of people whose relationships do last into, say, college or beyond. I just don't know any. 

[DJ]

Marrying the first person you date is a recipe for early divorce. Teenage years should be used to explore the relationships and see what works best for you. And no, I don't mean sleep with everything that moves when I say you should explore. What I mean is that you should try relationships with people of fairly different personalities, so you can determine what kind of a person you get along with best. And by relationships I mean relationships, not one-night stands. There's nothing wrong with having those and they can be fun, but you won't learn much from them other than maybe some sexual techniques.

[Vester]

First of all, ignore everyone who says you can't/shouldn't get a gf in school. You can, and there's no reason why you shouldn't.

Spoiler: Helpful, but not important (click to show/hide)

Try and get fit. Not athlete/sixpack style fit (though that would be a huge advantage), but you said in your first post you were a little chubby. That can be lost easily just by cycling, which isn't strenuous (seriously, I used to ride 35mins to uni, and I'd barely break a sweat after the first month), works as a great mode of transportation and is actually a lot of fun. An hour a day on average is surprisingly easy to get, though it has be at least 10mins at a time for it to have any effect.

If you were older, I'd say it's vital to learn how to dress nicely, but in school it's not a huge issue (hint, jeans and a nice button up t-shirt can work wonders, especially in darker colours).

Throw parties and hold gatherings. If you're aiming for a specific girl, try and make it something she'll be into; e.g. if she likes games, hold LANs (girls that like videogames DO exist :p), but the main thing is to be social. Don't sit on your computer, go out and have fun with friends.

Don't be crass. "Hur hur hur boobies" will never impress a girl... well, unless it was as an ironic comment I guess.

Spoiler: The important things (click to show/hide)

TALK TO GIRLS! It sounds stupid, but the biggest barrier between guys and girls in school is shyness. Get over it. They're human, just like you. If you talk to them, you have a far greater chance of getting a gf than otherwise.

The only other thing worth noting is CONFIDENCE; don't be self defeating, you have just as good a chance as anyone else. If you do get knocked back, don't mope. Just keep on enjoying life, and eventually you'll find your girl.

Lastly, your 12. Having a girlfriend at 12 is nice, but it doesn't matter one little bit if you don't have one, you're young, and the real fun with dating doesn't start for another 5 odd years

Osmosis has the right idea. Twelve is no time to be stressing about it. If it happens, awesome, if it doesn't, no big deal. I'm not saying it's a good idea to abandon entirely any thought of romance, but don't make it the biggest thing in your life either. Stuff happens.

Marrying the first person you date is a recipe for early divorce. Teenage years should be used to explore the relationships and see what works best for you. And no, I don't mean sleep with everything that moves when I say you should explore. What I mean is that you should try relationships with people of fairly different personalities, so you can determine what kind of a person you get along with best. And by relationships I mean relationships, not one-night stands. There's nothing wrong with having those and they can be fun, but you won't learn much from them other than maybe some sexual techniques.

It just occurred to me that the original poster is probably too young to be worrying about marriage yet 

[cowofdoom78963]

Also yeah that double standard ticks me off.

While we continue to palaver solely dealing with procreation, double standards arent held in scrutiny.

[x2yzh9]

Think hard about what she should be like. Try to imagine her in your mind, every personality trait you can. Try to see her as clearly as possible. Then start looking for her. Work on yourself along the way, be strong. And look down with disgust upon every one of them that don't suit the image of the girl you're looking for.
If you do find the girl of your dreams, then it's going to be more than just some childish relationship "for show". And it's worth a lot more. Be prepaired and try to look serious.

Worst advice ever. Relationships are built on compromise. That, and you can't really know what you want until you've had a couple of relationships. You may think you know it, but trust me, you don't.

Anyway, in school girls tend to go for older guys because they're so cool and edgy and stuff. So your chances of scoring a girl from your own year aren't that great, but chances of getting one that's a year younger are quite good.

Well, back in 6th grade[we spent that grade at elementary] i had a girl-friend[not A girlfriend, but a friend who is a girl, it relates to the statement im about to make.], who ended up at the last part of the year dating a 9th grader, she's taller then ALL of the students so i guess that helps. In fact earlier in that year i knew a guy who dated her just because he was scared of her. And i have a best friend who likes her apparently, he told her first i suppose it's all good though.

[sonerohi]

Make sure you can tell when girls are hitting on you. That is oh so extremely important. There was a girl I was sweet on last year, and according to all her friends, my dad and mom, and her dad and mom, she was sweet on me. Thing is, I never picked up on it, so I never made the move. Then she got over me, meaning I've missed a chance.

[zchris13]

Make sure you can tell when girls are hitting on you. That is oh so extremely important. There was a girl I was sweet on last year, and according to all her friends, my dad and mom, and her dad and mom, she was sweet on me. Thing is, I never picked up on it, so I never made the move. Then she got over me, meaning I've missed a chance.

Oh yeah I hate that.  Dur dur I'm totally oblivious dur dur.
Augh. horrible.

[Cthulhu]

You didn't pick up on it when the people who would know told you she was?

[Footkerchief]

You didn't pick up on it when the people who would know told you she was?

They probably told him after the fact.

I've pretty much given up noticing such things and just go by dumb luck instead.  One girl's friend zone is another's secret crush.

[Cthulhu]

The way to deal with being alone is to become arrogant and laugh at your problems, as if they were below you.  That's what I do, and depression is the least likely mental illness to afflict me.

[zchris13]

The way to deal with being alone is to become arrogant and laugh at your problems, as if they were below you.  That's what I do, and depression is the least likely mental illness to afflict me.

You'll probably just go crazy instead.