A lot of this may seem very obvious or unnecessary, but you'd be surprised:
-HYGIENE
-Tidiness. Make a mental effort. Not OCD like, but if you look messier than the guy next to you, then do something.
-Humor is relative. Also, quoting something funny does not make you funny. Pick your battles with improv humor.
-Always give a shit. Even when you don't. Even the ugliest of guys can have a better relationship than a complete d***head.
-Always watch to see if she doesn't give a shit. If she's not interested in something, she's just not.
-It's supposed to be a mutually beneficial relationship. They will use you, and sometimes not even think they are.
-Pay for everything. The male is supposed to.
-Give her room in private matters. If you would consider something a moment to yourself or just for yourself, don't butt in.
...
ausperger syndrome
If you're being serious, you'll really need some luck. Rather than aiming for the funny/amusing niche, how about the quiet but helpful/sweet? You don't always need to use words.
i don't do a lot of stuff.
Get a physical hobby. Then you'll find that she doesn't give a rat's ass about what you do. Have some interest in what she does instead for conversation, and if you want an easy date try to wedge in with whatever she does at least once.