and alot of the guys, myself included, pitched in all our advice and skills to try and get him to be a date-able person, and then we pitched all our effort towards getting him to play the field and go date a different girl.
You know, I get the impression that that wasn't what he needed.
Sounds like he had serious problems aside from "can't get a date".
He sounds like he was creepy and obsessive. I hate guys like that.
Also I just reread sonerohi's post.
You were protecting him and he tried to stab you for it?
God, that makes my overmanly male friends (and not-friends) seem almost normal.
I understand that from the sounds of it, he was mighty creepy, but be a bit more sensitive Vester. The minds of young people can be warped considerably through bad parenting, social expectations, bullying, and alot of other stuff.
Well, yeah, I'm not dismissing that he had problems, I was just saying what he sounded like. Also, he was in grade school, so I'm willing to bet he wasn't emotionally ready for much. (depends on when in grade school this was). Sorry if I came off as being mean.
How to get a meaningful relationship with a girl:
- Stop trying so hard. Girls hang out the same place as other people, so as long as you meet people, you're all set, in theory. Besides, you run the risk of forming weird relationships when you meet people for that explicit purpose instead of getting to know them as people first. Leading me to:
- Treat them like real people, as you would your guy friends. Treating women as some sort of special-case scenario (i.e. "men are normal, women are these weird creatures") just ends with you having a warped view of how gender works, and must REALLY suck if you're bisexual.
- Speaking of which, don't rely on any stupid tricks or generalizations or "game plans" that people throw at you, here or elsewhere. People are weird and sort of varied. Not all girls are easily impressed by jewelry and pick-up lines or whatever, and generalizing a lot is likely to get a lot of girls thinking that you don't care about them as individuals, and honestly, if someone treats them that way, they're probably right. This kind of stuff might be good for picking up random chicks at bars, but I take it that's not the goal here.
G-flex is right. We're human too, for god's sake. You should make friends and meet people, not worry about finding a girlfriend because it's "cool". I say this because you seem to be a little stressed about this. Don't worry, relax, and let things happen. As they happen.
Although I want to clarify when he says "treating girls as you would your guy friends". I think he means to relax when you're around them and don't treat them any differently, which is a good idea. But I have to bring up that making jokes about penises/farts/whatever it is guys think are funny at that age? Bad idea. Although you might meet a girl with the same sense of humor, which is rare.