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pudding

pops

[flabort]

But as of typing this, by my watch, 10/25 isn't over yet, and technically neither is the update day. Hmm.

Hmmmmmmmm............ HMMMMMMM..... HMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm.... HMM.

[Gatleos]

Am I the only one who has forgotten what the hell is going on?

Because I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on.

Beta kids arrived in the alpha session, John and Jade arrived first. Jade was immediately mind controlled/communed with by the Empress, going Grimbark and zapping the Empress's mind control tiara onto Jane. Jade then teleported everyone else off the meteor, which was just arriving. Skaia opened a defense portal in response to the meteor, Jade rode the meteor through the portal, it crashed on Earth, then Jade grabbed Earth and took it back through the portal.

The Empress planned to have the kids and trolls complete the game, after which Jade would head into the new universe and place Earth in the correct spot for Caliborn's birth to take place and Gamzee to raise him and a bunch of other vaguely alluded-to shit to happen afterward. But the Empress wanted Roxy to recreate the matriorb so she could resurrect the troll race and enslave everyone.

Then Aranea arrived, and it turned out she had been mind controlling Gamzee for quite a while. She made him steal the life ring from John, came back to life, ultraturbocharged Jake, then planned to fuck absolutely everything up and "heal" the resulting doomed timeline to become the new alpha timeline. Then Aranea dropped a giant house on Jade to make a refrance, Bec Noir and PM showed up to take her to her quest bed which probably won't do shit, Dave left after them, Terezi showed up and got the shit beaten out of her by Gamzee, and Robojane attacked Aranea. Then the Empress showed up. Also Spades Slick, Jack English and Dirk are floating around somewhere.

There, now you know 10% of what's going on.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

The Empress planned to have the kids and trolls complete the game, after which Jade would head into the new universe and place Earth in the correct spot for Caliborn's birth to take place and Gamzee to raise him and a bunch of other vaguely alluded-to shit to happen afterward. But the Empress wanted Roxy to recreate the matriorb so she could resurrect the troll race and enslave everyone.

So, helping the empress until the end of the plan, where they instead kill her, would have resulted in the best ending?

[javierpwn]

The Empress planned to have the kids and trolls complete the game, after which Jade would head into the new universe and place Earth in the correct spot for Caliborn's birth to take place and Gamzee to raise him and a bunch of other vaguely alluded-to shit to happen afterward. But the Empress wanted Roxy to recreate the matriorb so she could resurrect the troll race and enslave everyone.

So, helping the empress until the end of the plan, where they instead kill her, would have resulted in the best ending?

It would have resulted in Caliborn existing. But as we all already know, he is already here.

[Arcvasti]

The Empress planned to have the kids and trolls complete the game, after which Jade would head into the new universe and place Earth in the correct spot for Caliborn's birth to take place and Gamzee to raise him and a bunch of other vaguely alluded-to shit to happen afterward. But the Empress wanted Roxy to recreate the matriorb so she could resurrect the troll race and enslave everyone.

So, helping the empress until the end of the plan, where they instead kill her, would have resulted in the best ending?

Lets not forget the empress wanted to stop Lord English and seemed to genuinely care for Jane.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Speculation: John's unstuck-ability-perturbation-shenanigans can and do take him to doomed timelines (but that does not mean they cannot still affect the alpha), and the latest update depicts one of these plot-important doomed timelines.

[HailFire]

Just remember that this timeline is still doomed until further notice (and is showing all the appropriate symptoms i.e. everyone dies). While Aranea's plan blew up in her face, she still did effectively scuttle the Condesce's plan, who has no reason not to let the timeline reset to before she interfered; this branch is effectively a wash.

The real question is: How is Hussie going to yank our collective chain next?

[Diablous]

Do do do, trying to get back into DF and logging into my old account that I haven't touched in forever.

Oh hey, Homestuck's updating again, nearly forgot about that. Time to pick up from where it left off...

what the shit

... Okay, Hussie, I see that a year without updating caused a little bit of a build up. But now that you have that out of your system, can we go back to the normal rate of character death? And while we're at it could you please start resurrecting or making this a doomed timeline or something please please I actually like some of these guys.

Though, seeing John beat the crap out of Caliborn was very satisfying.

[Bauglir]

But now that you have that out of your system, can we go back to the normal rate of character death?

If you think about it, counting today, the character death rate has probably been slightly below average over the past year.

[Diablous]

But now that you have that out of your system, can we go back to the normal rate of character death?

If you think about it, counting today, the character death rate has probably been slightly below average over the past year.

Probably. Maybe Hussie wasn't feeling particularly murderous over the hiatus.

Anyway, upd8!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

JOHN: what the fuck happened here?

It's simple John. Everything went to shit and most of your friends, enemies, acquaintances etc are dead. And were in severe need of dodging lessons. At least, it feels that way.

[penguinofhonor]

Also Spades Slick, Jack English and Dirk are floating around somewhere.

I totally forgot about all of these people. Dirk avoided the massacre!

[Darvi]

John's face is the best face and needs to be made into a reaction gif asap.

[Elephant Parade]

Oh no.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Caliborn has learned how to use Flash.

[Mageziya]

Noo.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nooooo.
NOOO
NO!
I WANT OFF THIS HOMOSUCK RIDE.
I JUST WANT OFF THIS RIDE.
GODDAMMIT HELP.

ALSO, IT'S STARTING TO GLITCH, THIS IS THE ALPHA TIMELINE, FUCK.

[Slayerhero90]

that means it updated again