I got bored, so I decided to pen that idea i came up with the other day.
>Dave: ponder the cold
You’ve always been used to the heat, as oppressive and omnipresent as it was in your city. Your apartment building was so shitty that AC failures were depressingly common, and there’s little safety from the heat in a closed apartment. So it was no surprise that, to your unflinching coolkid visage, LOHAC hardly posed any challenge. Even when you got in the heat of the moment, flash-stepping and ninja slashing various underlings that attempted to fuck with your cool, you barely broke more than a light sweat. The LOHACSE may have been worse; with all the nakkadiles packed into such a small space nakking away about which shit to buy and which funds to drop like the illest of dope beats combined with the close proximity to the lava sea, the heat got pretty unbearable sometimes. However, even in those situations, you could always rely on the chilling beats of the Snoop Dogg Machete (Murder was the case indeed, Snoop. murder was the goddamned case that they gave you.)
Thus, as was painfully obvious to everyone with a brain, your first steps on LOFAF were just the slightest bit incredibly fucking jarring. After you rode unreal air down to the snow, you almost lost the shit out of your cool; it’s no secret that it didn’t snow in Texas ever, so snow was a bit of a foreign concept. Oh sure, you had experienced the ironic viewing sessions of White Christmas with Bro, you understood snow as a concept, the thing that old douchebags sing shitty songs and flirt with dames on top of; However, you didn’t realize just how cockswollering cold snow was. A soon as your feet hit the ground, you’re converses were immediately soaked, and short minutes later your feet were completely numb. Luckily for you, mile tall Babel towers into space tend to make for easily-recognizable landmarks, so you made your way there as quickly as possible to get away from the icy-ass fingers of the wind.
Dave: respond to your chums!
Oh, you guess Jade got impatient again and pestered you, even though you told her easily fourty-five minutes and twenty-six seconds ago that you were on your way. Whatever, a coolkid like you is hardly bothered by impromptu pestering, although your numb extremities certainly weren’t helping.
GG: dave!!
GG: dave im so booored!
GG: understand that finding your gate was supposed to take a while but this is ridiculous!
GG: D:<!!!
GG: see I have an angry face to prove it
TG: jade
GG: thank jegus dave, I was about to go out looking for frogs just to have something to do!
TG: what
GG: oh, I’ll explain later >.>
GG: you had me waiting for so long i probably forgot what i was doing with the frogs anyway!
TG: seriously
TG: jade are you still crazy add i thought this was a character arc we all overcame together
TG: remember you were arguing with your dream self and then you decided to cast aside your doubts and accept your true destiny as a sailor scout
GG: pssssh, dave it was a joke!
TG: yeah sure
TG: look this identity crisis is fun and all but I have a freezing ass that is looking to remove itself from antarctica the planet and thaw out somewhere warmer
TG: how do i get inside your mansiontower
GG: oh, i’ll come down and meet you!
TG: what exactly does that statement imply
>Dave: be surprised by the Iron Lass
You fail to be surprised, although you do give a genuine smile at finally being able to see Jade Harley. As cool as you make yourself out to be, you’ve grown rather worried about your friends with all these sum-bitching imps running around making a mess of things. Visual confirmation that Jade is okay will probably set your heart at eais that a rocket
>Dave: meet Jade in person for the first time!
The flaming gold-and-red projectile slows down from mach 1 just in time to avoid making you the sexiest goddamn smear of blood on this godforsaken hoth ripoff of a planet, and you realize as it touches down that it’s Jade (it might be obvious, but you heard something about dream bots earlier and could never really be sure).
Oddly enough, you had never actually seen your three best friends in person before, or at all, really. You and John were friends on Facebook, so you knew what he looked like, but Rose was too counter-culture to accept getting an account, and you don’t think Jade ever could remember to sign up for an account. With this in mind, it comes to a surprise when Jade’s helmet comes off and you see her face for the first time.
The first thing you notice is that her skin is incredibly dark-whether from a tan or from genetics you can’t really tell- and her hair is even darker, pitch black locks flowing down past her shoulders and irreverently bouncing against her suit. It comes as even more of a surprise to see her eyes, which shine out beacons of bright green against a chocolate background. You think you see some Asian influences in her face as well, but you never professed to be an expert on genealogy.
>Dave: greet Jade
You greet her in the manner customary to you: a slight smirk, and a wave of the hand. Jade, of course, responds with a tackle hug straight into the pillow blanket of snow. You both laugh for a few seconds, Jade’s laugh having an infectious lilt to it, before you greet her.
“So Jade-”
And what issues from her mouth leaves you completely dumbfounded.
You would hardly call yourself an idiot; years of experience in downtown Houston has made you innately familiar with the Hispanic feel of the place. However, your experiences in Texas could never prepare you for the ungodly torrent of enyes, eyes, rolling r’s and general happiness. The only word you can recognize out of this sentence tsunami is your name, “Dave,” although the way she pronounces it makes it sound more like “Daffe!!”, with a long a and a hard e. After about thirteen seconds of this verbal assault, you manage to stop Jade.
“Jade. I understand you’re happy to see me, but I can not and most likely will never be able to speak any form of Spanish.”
Miraculously, Jade completely understands, and replies in kind
“That is a horrible way to say things, Daffe!”
You are momentarily surprised by the fact that one of your best friends speaks English (must be the cold, you talked to her two minutes ago, dunpass), but you are more interested in her accent. It is beautiful in that way only those from latin America can make it: all of her vowels are strictly pronounced, and the rr’s in horrible roll in a way the clashes a little awkwardly with the rest of her English. You’re also stumped by the “say,” as it doesn’t quite work out with the rest of the sentence. However, after a split second of consideration you realize that Jade meant “see,” though she pronounced the “ee” as “ay,” probably out of force of habit.
>Dave: be Jade
Es cumplió!
>Jade: Listen to Dave
You are a bit ashamed that your inner argentìne came out in the excitement, but it is more than made up for by your excitement to meet your new friend!
The first thing you notice is that Dave is astonishingly pale. Of course he isn’t completely white, hours in the beating sun assured him of that, but his skin is just so –pale- compared to yours! Of course, if this was interesting, what he said next was even moreso:
“All things considered, I’d like to think i’m not an anthropomorphic talking duck. ‘Dave,’ not ‘Daffy.’”
The words come slowly, which comes as a surprise taking Dave’s experience as the Knight of Time. His upbringing shines through crystal clear in his voice: even though he lacks the stereotypical drawl and obnoxious speech patterns, his words come relatively slow to your argentìne brain, and the end consonants from “Talking” and “Considered” are murdered senselessly or smashed into the next word. This stokes your curiosity even more, as you find his accent exotic and not nearly as obnoxious as you thought it would be.
“Off course, D-aaa-ve!,” you respond as you expend obvious effort into pronouncing his name right, “Whatever, let us go see my house! I have always wanted to show somebody around my house~”
You drag Dave half-willing to the entrance of the mansion tower, his retort lost in the biting winds of the bullshit winter planet.
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Topic: MSPA Homestuck (Read 5213528 times)