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pudding

pops

[Trapezohedron]

Jade will probably put John in a 3 year deep sleep, while she operates the battleship nonstop for 3 years.

Or an inexplicable loophole appears, and they get whisked away to the meeting spot earlier, or the Condesce's flagship appears out of nowhere, abducting them.

Who knows?

[BackgroundGuy]

Or they both Murder-Suicide in the derpiest way possible, and then revive in a few B2 Session minutes, as the ship continues on through momentum.
No, they probably age up because plot.  And they spend the time quest grinding on their planets, and having therapy sessions with Davesprite.

[Rose]

We skip ahead, and then they are the same age as the new session kids.

[Enzo]

We skip ahead, and then they are the same age as the new session kids.

Leaving them prime for a cross-session incestuous slurry of shipping in the epilogue. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

Also, just noticed: "Show Dialoglog". :I

[Trapezohedron]

The Alpha Kids are fifteen years old. Are you saying that they won't appear until those kids get to sixteen yeaes old? Oh man, that's a long time. Well, I hope Davesprite therapy will offer interesting pesterlogs, or rather, dialoglogs.

[Rose]

YOU SUCK

[Trapezohedron]

There be updates. It's showing Bec Noir and Mailwoman.

[Blade Master Model 42]

YOU SUCK

Hurray for translations!

[Darvi]

The Alpha Kids are fifteen years old. Are you saying that they won't appear until those kids get to sixteen yeaes old?

Three of the Alpha-kids were born early December. It's already mid-november. Close enough really.

[Aqizzar]

At this point, I've become so analytical about Hussie's motivations as a writer that it's impossible for me not to second guess every new aspect of the story as trolling his fanbase.  In this case, it's sledgehammering an idea that will then be discarded (making at least John and Jade three years older and God knows what else by the time they next take part in the story).

Which is actually incidental to the first thing I thought of, that Hussie may be wryly acknowledging how the vast majority of Homestuck fanart styles the kids more as late-teenagers than 13.

[Trapezohedron]

Yeah. I guess The Hussie is kind of just following the fanbase for that, because they're rarely depicted as kids outside the canon (sometimes even within the canon).

Here's hoping Hussie won't stall them for long, since they're just outside the alpha or the troll universe/session, and as such, technically arrive instantly when viewed from within the universe.

[Duke 2.0]

John: Spend three years training on LoWaS

And then a hundred pages later in a combat update

John: Go even further beyond

[Darvi]

John: Spend three years training on LoWaS

And then a hundred pages later in a combat update

John: Go even further beyond

Brain bleach please.

[Aqizzar]

John: Spend three years training on LoWaS

John and Jade: Spend three years chilling out with Davesprite, Nannasprite, and Jaspersprite.

Sollux: Spend three years blowing your brains out.

Karkat, Terezi, Gamzee, Kanaya: Spend three years watching Sollux blow his brains out.

Rose, Dave, Aradia, Also-Sollux: Stare at each other in empty space for three years.


Yeah, I got a feeling something is going to change here.  Especially since Hussie has the effects of Relativistic Time Dilation ass-backwards.

[Duke 2.0]

 I get the feeling that the whole time dilation thing only applies to John and Jade, at least only in the context that we have read. I'm sure some other freaky stuff will age the others.