Rocket Goddamn Papaya's Last Hurrah
by Nepeta Leijon, Feferi Peixes, and Phillip J. Fry from Futurama
Edited by Zuki
One day, while visiting the majjykkal forest of Robert the Gnome (it's like the Forest of Dean but with gnomes), Rocket G. Papaya (The "G." Stood for GODDAMN!) discovered a majjykkal extension cord. It was wrapped around a tree, and somehow had gotten plugged into the trunk. You could tell it was a majjykkal extension cord because the tree was now glowing with an eerie, eldritch light.
"Oh WOW!!!" exclaimed ROCKET GODDAMN PAPAYA. "With this, my keytarKind Strife Specibus will be thirteen times as awesome and cheesy! The power of my ROCK will stop meteors!" (remember this later this is important)
And thus she did rocketh the fuck out. Limbs of trees cracked, monsters ran and hid or threw up the horns, troll girls got wet and troll boys got hard at the mighty power of her ROCK. It was awesome. Also, cheesy.
However, she was forced to come to an abrupt stop when she encountered her kismesprit Slendertroll???
"FFFFFFF- !!!"
IT IS I; SLENDERTROLL. SKINNIEST MOTHERFUCKER ON ALTERNIA.
"How are you speaking with no quotation marks???"
THAT IS MY SPECIAL POWER. I HAVE HEARD YOU ROCKING AND I CHOSE TO BESTOW IT UPON YOU.
This is the most FRICKIN' AWESOME thing ever!!! said Rocket Papaya. ~Now it will be truly difficult to ignore me~ she wickedly thought inside her head, for Rocket Papaya was sometimes a somewhat arrogant and proud troll. But she was only arrogant and proud in the imperious kind of way that made other trolls love her all the more, and respect her commanding 'tude. Besides, the only trolls who didn't like Rocket Papaya were the ones who were jealous of her amazing good looks and her RAINBOW CULTRAVIOLENT blood, which is the prettiest of all the blood colors.
Now her powers were complete. The power over Earth was granted to her by the great earth golem of Galmiindlar. The power over Fire was granted to her by the great fire golem of Galmiindlar. The power over Air was granted to her by the mighty leviathan that flew high above the mountains of Galmiindlar. The power over Water was granted to her by some sort of tapeworm or something? She was never really sure and frankly she blamed it on the sopor slime pies she had been eating.
She even had the power of Heart. But everyone KNEW THAT ALREADY and that's a pussy element, so she never really used it. She channeled it through her music.
By my powers combined, she said, I SUMMON...TROLLFORD BRIMLEY
She did a haunting keytar riff while also doing a backflip. The ghost of Trollford Brimley played spirit guitar, and Slendertroll accompanied on drums.
It sounded a bit like this: Nyaaaah nah nah NAAAAAAH da da da Nyaaaaaah nah nah Hey who hit me that hurt!
Rocket noticed an incoming message on her megaphone that was in her magic wristwatch.
uracilUnimaginarium[UU] began trolling explodingFruitcake [EF]
UU: Rocket Goddamn Papaya yo~u~ need to ssstop that noisssy racket I can hear yo~u~ 50 trollmilesss away.
(Trollmiles for reference are as long as human miles would be if humans were the size of trolls)
EF: *YOU* just have no sense of FUN!!!
(And then there was an awkward twenty minute silence Papaya used it to coil up her new magical extension cord and store her keytar in her love fetch modus. It retrieves and stores things using the power of LOVE.)
EF: What are you UP TO tonight Uracillllll??? :O o3o
UU: I'm in my planetari~u~m watching the ssstarsss with my lusss~u~sss. There are meteorsss coming, Rocket. Aren't your worried?
EF: OH no, METEORS??!? SHIT is now distinctly realler than it was three minutes AGO!!!1 Wat are we going to dooo URACIL?!??!!!!??? \O_o/
UU: I'm sss~u~rrre my exactly twelve other friends will sssave me
UU: But what will yo~u~ do?
EF: Well....I dunno! Somehow I guess I will use the powers of LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP to save me. You know, like...., uh.
EF: I AM going TO FUCKING rock OUT hells yeah!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!! \m/
EF: XDDDDDDDDD o3o;;
UU: the mosssst immature girly girl my gog
(Sweeps for reference are as long as human years would be if humans were the size of trolls)
EF: fuck NO!!!!! ;;CCCCCCCCCC \o/
UU: well let me know if sss~u~rrrprrrissse sss~u~rrrprrrissse, rrrock and roll do
UU: will yo~u~ act yo~u~r sssweepsss for once I ssswear yo~u~ are...
EF: The cuuuuuutest??? esssssssn't sssave yo~u~
UU: I will get yo~u~ into the game one of my twelve other friendsss is designing it SOLLUX CAPTOR isss very good at coding. That will sssaaave ~u~sss
EF: yeah right!! YOU only LIKE boooooorrrriinnng GAMES
EF: SMELL YOU LATER GRAMPS
uracilUnimaginarium [UU] ceased pestering explodingFruitcake [EF]
UU: hissssss
UU: (secretly I love her)
>Rocket: Head home
Your name is ROCKET PAPAYA.
You have been rocking the fuck out virtually nonstop for the past 6 solar sweeps. Today is the day that you be as awesome as possible and you will destroy meteors and you will kick ass and you will probably eat some biscuits. You like to cook by using your SWEET JAMS to roast your food.
You have the best lusus in all of history and like you said like, four seconds ago, you have RAINBOW CULTRAVIOLENT blood the very prettiest blood evar. Also, because of your special blud you are so skinny you could be anorexic but you aren't.
You are the greatest Keytarranger Alternia, and perhaps the entirety of Paradox Space, has ever seen/heard. You cannot hope to beat Rocket in a keytarmancy-off. She is simply the best keytaramancer there is.
Your trolltag is explodingFruitcake and you Tend to type in a way juuuuuust that bit COOLER than everyone else XDDDDDD ♥ ♠ ♦ ♣ o3o;; WOOOOO \o/*\m/
Now I must devise a clever plan to contact all the rest of my friends and save them fromt he evil meteors!?!!! schemed Rocket G. Papaya (The "G." Stands for GogDamn, because Rocket Papaya Named Herself.)
What Will You do???
>Rocket: Rock out!!! DDDDD
You rock out so hard. Shit, this kid's flow is fried bananas. CHICKEN-FRIED BANANAS.
>Rocket: High five lusus
You simultaneously rock out and give your lusus a high five while an explosion occurs in the background! SOOOOOOOO COOL. XDDDDDDDDDDD!!!
Unfortunately, the explosion was caused by a meteor.
(DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER ENDING WHAT HAPEPENS NEXT!!?!!! TUNE IN NEXT TIME.)
(spoiler alert!!!: Rocket Papaya lives)
(Spoiler spoiler alert: OR DOES SHE???)
(spoilerspoilerspoiler:she does))
(spoilerspoilerspoilerspoiler: D~U~N D~U~N D~U~~U~~U~NNNN?
)
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Topic: MSPA Homestuck (Read 5196805 times)