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▼: sup bro this is strider
▲: hi dave!
▼: john
▲: yep! heheh.
▼: sup
▲: oh, nothing really! i'm kinda bored!
▼: figured
▼: since youre on this piece of shit site and all
▼: wait when are you
▲: uh, haha, when? um... the present?
▼: jegus
▼: whats the date egbert
▲: i don't know! it's been awhile since i had hold of a computer!
▲: i've been kinda busy in the game and all!
▼: so youre in the medium
▼: ok good
▼: i keep running into yous that arent playing the game
▼: once there was an 11 year old egderp
▲: what? really?
▼: fuck that was hilarious im pretty sure i psychologically scarred bittybert
▲: what did you do dave!
▼: nothing much
▼: i only linked him to bros smuppet site
▼: showed him a few traps
▼: nothing like goatse jesus
▲: dave!
▼: what
▲: you do not do that to your bro! even his younger self! i didnt when i met 7 year old you!
▼: what
▼: you met 7 year old me
▲: yep!
▼: shit
▼: what was it like
▲: well... you were really cute!
▼: what no bro
▼: you do not use the word cute
▼: to describe your bro
▼: and i was never cute for your information i punched my way into the world blazing with sheer awesome
▼: like you were radiating with indiluted derpiness
▲: you were 7! and cute! trying so hard to imitate your bro but still so adorable!
▼: shut the fuck up i was not cute
▼: please tell me you didnt save the log
▲: haha i did but i dont where it is! there was a storm and you were scared of it! curled up in your bro's chair with a blanket!
▼: shut
▼: up
▼: i bet youre still afraid of the fucking dark
▲: haha nope! the dark is pretty nice! and you were so in awe of your big brother! i didn't know that you two went through hard times before he got a sponsor for smuppets!
▼: cant a guy keep some resemblance of mystery to him ffs
▼: and it wasnt hard times egderp
▼: we just didnt have as much money as we do now
▼: it was pretty fucking chill actually
▲: not according to your bro!
▼: yeah well
▼: fuck why does this even matter
▲: because you were so cute and i actually respect you so much more now!
▼: ughhhhhhh
▼: dude when are you just gonna say it
▼: i dont mind you being all up in my grill but ffs stop going on about the im not a homosexual bullshit
▲: haha okay!
▼: what
▼: what do you mean okay
▲: dave. i'm gay.
▼: its about
▼: fucking
▼: time
▲: eheh.
▲: wanna go out?
▼: mbhm,nxc
▼: hopy shit
▼: who are you and what have you done with john
▼: unless im mistaken and youve finally grown a pair
▼: in which case good job
▲: eheh still the same old john!
▼: fuck
▼: ...
▼: before i answer
▼: im just
▼: john how much would you care if i was weird
▼: fuck thats not the right word
▼: uh
▼: 'different'
▲: uh, haha! oh man you kinda already are dave!
▼: i mean aside from that
▼: fuck i cant even think of something funny to say fdskfs
▼: but would you care
▲: hahah! no, of course not silly!
▼: well
▼: fuck ok
▼: im
▼: ... fuck it im getting a photo
▲: uh, okay?
▼:
http://tinyurl.com/3jqctjm▲: uh... what's weird?
▲: am i missing something here?
▼: ...
▼: are you retarded
▼: fuck dont you see whats missing
▼: and what shouldnt be there
▼: im making no sense
▼: ok
▼: let me be extremely blunt
▼: do you see a fucking bulge there ohn
▼: john even
▲: no?
▼: yes
▼: and generally a lack of dickbulge means what??
▲: you don't have one?
▼: bingo
▼: do you get it now
▲: um... you're a girl?
▼: ...
▼: im not a girl
▼: im a dude ok jegus
▲: how can you be a guy without having guy parts?!
▼: if you had your dick chopped off
▼: youd still consider yourself a guy
▼: right
▲: well... yes.
▼: well thats whats happened here
▼: i just dont have a dick for some weird ass reason
▲: um, haha, okay.
▼: fuck i knew this was a bad idea
▲: do you have anything down there?
▼: i shouldnt have said anything
▼: if youre asking if i have a vagina then yes
▼: i do
▲: hah okay! good to know! so do you wanna go out or not?
▼: well
▼: its not weird right
▼: i mean you dont care right
▲: nope! doesn't make you any less 'dave'!
▼: thats
▼: a relief to hear
▼: sure why the fuck not
▲: awesome!
▲: eheh <3
▼: are we really doing the text heart bullshit
▼: really
▲: well i am!
▼: fine
▼: <3
▼: that literally hurt to type
▲: heheh! you don't have to!
▼: well good because im not doing that shit again
▼: treasure the one time dave fucking strider has or ever will make a shitty text heart for his derp
▼: lock it up in a little chest and put it in your fucking soul
▲: heh i shall! i really wanna meet you in person now!
▼: yeah
▼: itd be pretty chill
▼: wanna fly to lohac or something
▲: aw i just got home! and lohac is well... hot! why dont you come over here?
▼: i cant fly john
▲: well geez you can alchemize cant you? i mean i guess i can try to fly over there!
▼: fuck fine ill try and make a jetpack or something
▼: but
▼: whats in it for me
▲: uh, haha, whatever you want?
▼: jesus you just
▼: fuck
▼: i just want to hug you so bad you fucking derp
▲: oh! well i can give you the biggest hug ever when i see you!
▼: yesssss
▼: i think im gonna go and alchemise that shit
▼: and maybe a surprise
▼: but youll have to wait and see what it is
▲: uh, haha okay! i love surprises!
▼: trust me youll love this one
▼: later egderp
▲: later dave! can't wait!
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Topic: MSPA Homestuck (Read 5201040 times)