Alright! I managed to pump this out finally. Hopefully it's not terrible.
Mom: Join Alcoholics Anonymous
Certainly not! You're not a people person. And besides, you aren't an alcoholic. You just enjoy your gin. And whiskey. And wine. You think vodka is okay too, in a pinch. Really, anything with alcohol is...
Alright. So you're an alcoholic. But you will deal with it your own way.
Mom: Speak to Rose
Rose thinks you should join Alcoholics Anonymous. But you will not. You cannot join AA. It is something which should not be done.
Rose asks what your plan is, then. You decide to explain it to her. You will try to drink caffeine instead of alcohol, you say. Perhaps it will help with withdrawal, and that addiction will certainly be more socially acceptable. You plan on buying a large amount of soda tomorrow.
==>
The next day, you are awake unusually early. This is because you had nothing to drink last night. You already feel terrible, and you're not sure whether it's the withdrawal kicking in early or some sort of psychological effect. Rose would probably know, you think.
Coincidentally, Rose is up early as well. She explains that she has decided to help you with your plan. She has done this by pouring every alcoholic beverage, solid and a few assorted alcoholic gases down the drain. She's even been kind enough to make use of the tea set you bought on a whim. You notice it is quite nice-looking. Unfortunately, the empty wine glasses are not.
Mom: Destroy the house in a fit of rage
Why would you do that? You're not angry, and you're certainly not your mother. Really, addiction is a very serious matter. You should not be so frivolous!
Fortunately, mother seems to be taking this unexpected twist of fate well. She's already sitting at the table, sipping tea, acting as if everything is normal. If serendipity smiles upon you, soon it will be. Perhaps eventually you will be able to invite your friends over without your mother commiting a faux pas! Eventually.
Rose: Invite friends over
You don't see why your dear child would ever do such a thing. She does still correspond with her friends from her Sburb days, but she's never gone to any of their houses, nor has she ever invited any of them to hers! Besides, she has her hands full already, helping you with your alcoholism.
It's been weeks now, and while it's become easier, it is still far from easy. The taste of alcohol is never too far from your mind. Indeed, you fear you are not trading one addiction for another, but simply creating a second in addition to the first. But the tea is delicious, which is fortu—
Oh dear. The doorbell is ringing; it seems you have visitors.
Dad: Greet Mom
You're in through the back door before either of them even have time to open the front one. Being an awesome dude like you are has its advantages. One of them is the equally awesome pranks.
But today, you are not here to place Li'l Cal where some unsuspecting preteen will stumble upon him and be scarred for life. No, you carry a much more precious cargo. This will be the best prank/gift in the history of Paradox Space. Now to deliver the cargo and get out.
Mom: Catch on
Catch on to what? It was probably some little kid on a dare. Even if it wasn't, you are definitely not going to try to solve any mysteries this early in the morning and before you've had your morning cup of tea. Okay, two cups of tea. Well, you do usually have at least three, often five or more.
You walk back to the table and happen to glance at the cup you were about to drink. You notice that this one has a picture of a tree on its side. It also contains Jaspers. Jaspers seems to have four eyes in addition to suddenly not being dead.
Rose is snickering.
Rose: Explain
You explain to your dear mother that you have just met a paradox clone of Jaspers. She replies that she knows that much already, and asks you how you know this.
You say you found the poor thing in the lab, where you named him/her and really you just realized you still don't know Mutie's gender and also that that was audible.
Your mother asks you what Mutie stands for. You reply that it is short for Vodka Mutini. Your mother stares at Mutie.
She downs a full cup of tea with her free hand and reaches for another.
Mom: Abandon Mutie
You decide you won't, after a cup or three of tea to help you think. Really, Vodka Mutini isn't such a terrible name. You should have expected something that snarky from your daughter. And he/she looks cute cuddling in that teacup, really. Perhaps a custom-made teacup bed is in order for him/her?
Your daughter has a look of utter confusion on her face. You ask her whether she wants one as well, and attempt to hide your laugh behind another cup of tea.
Tea is delicious, really, you're not sure why you didn't try it out earlier.
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Topic: MSPA Homestuck (Read 5211421 times)