-- gameSystem [GS] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 10:2 --
GS: >You are in a TOWER.
GS: >It is made of grey stone.
GS: >The wizard FRIGGLISH is knocking at your door!
GG: i tell the wizard to fuck off
GS: >Answer FRIGGLISH? Y/N
GS: You yell for FRIGGLISH to leave you be.
GS: >He says it is a emergency!
GS: >The kingdom is under attack!
GG: tell him to shove it
GS: >The tower rumbles!
GS: >It's a dragon!
GG: flip the dragon off
GS: Your papers are on fire.
GG: both fingers
GS: >You make a rude guesture at the dragon.
GS: >It snorts.
GS: >FRIGGLISH is consumed in flames!
GS: >FRIGGLISH has died.
GG: took him long enough
GS: >The dragon is staring at you.
GG: stare back
GS: >It seems to be wondering something.
GS: >You atare back at the dragon.
GS: >It's eye is a endless void of the souls it has ended, it's very scales shimmer in the dark moonlight like ripples from a water fall.
GS: >Nothing you haven't seen before.
GG: "meh."
GS: >You "meh" the dragon.
GS: >The dragon looks pissed.
GG: roll for caring
GG: 0 out of 20
GG: and not a single fuck was given
GS: >You turn back to your papers.
GS: >They are still on fire.
GS: >You may want to put that out.
GG: stare the fire out
GG: with my MIND POWAHS
GS: >The fire quails in terror!
GS: >The fire goes out.
GG: damn straight.
GS: >What remains scurries off under the door.
GG: and don't come back
GS: >FRIGGLISH is starting to smell like burnt hair.
GG: order someone to clean that shit up
GS: >The fire returns and cleans that shit up.
GS: >There is a lingering stench, but the body is gone.
GS: >The dragon is getting very angry!
GG: tell dragon to suck a fat one
GS: >The dragon does not do drugs!
GS: >Although it's friends do.
GS: >You are now the DRAGON.
GS: >Smoke DRAGONWEED? Y/N
GG: very yes
GS: >You fly off in search of ARGLEBARGLE.
GS: You remember that in high scholl ARGLEBARGLE did alot of DRAGONWEED.
GS: >ARGLEBARGLE invites you into his cave.
GG: "where's the weed, homes?"
GS: >You share a massive DRAGONWEED JOINT in celebration of your escape from the ANGRY SORCERESS.
GS: >You are now a HIGH DRAGON.
GG: chase that flying pie
GS: >You chase the flying pie into a wall.
GS: >ARGLEBARGLE laughs.
GG: all those pretty colors
GG: fuck yeah
GS: >You examine the COLORS.
GS: >FuCkInG mIrAcLeS...
GG: examine magnets
GS: >You examine ARGLEBARGLES MAGNET COLLECTION.
GS: >"How the fuck do they work?"
GS: >"I dunno!"
GG: study magnets for 15 years
GG: obtain a phd in magnetism
GS: >You study the MAGNETS for 15 years.
GS: >You attain a degree in MAGNETISM.
GS: >It's written on paper made from hemp.
GG: SMOKE IT
GS: >You smoke your degree.
GS: >It tastes like shit!
GG: goddommot
GS: >But it does make you a little high.
GS: >There is a PENGUIN at the door.
GG: see what the fuck he wants
GS: >"I want to tell you that there are at least fourteen adventurers outside this cave waiting to slay you.
GS: "And one ANGRY SORCERESS.
GG: toss the penguin at the angry sorceress
GS: "Oh hay, magnets!"
GG: beak-first
GS: >"Wait What NOOOOOOOOOOO"
GS: >The SORCERESS deflects the PEnguin with RAGE.
GG: GODDOMMOT
GS: >She RAGES at you.
GG: come at me sis
GS: >You are not frightened!
GS: >You charge the SORCERESS!
GG: with MAGNETS
GS: >She manaipulates gravity.
GG: fff-
GS: >With RAGE.
GS: You use magnets to stay on the ground!
GS: >Hooray- OH GOD THERE'S A MAGIC MISSLE IN YOUR FOREHEAD.
GS: >You are bleeding.
GG: realize my bleed is acidic
GG: bleen on sorceress
GG: bleed*
GS: >You bleed all over the SORCERESS.
GS: >This only makes her angryer!
GS: >You're not sure if that's a word...
GG: "angrier" is
GG: or "more angry" if you're in doubt probably
GG: ah fuck it i don't even know
GS: >The SORCERESS tosses you onto a mountain.
GS: >You have died.
GG: greet mountain
GG: oh
GS: >You are now the SORCERESS.
GG: curse heavily
GS: >You are dual wielding Dead DRAGONS.
GS: >You curse.
GS: >These things are heavy.
GG: tie their tails
GG: make dragon-nunchucks
GG:
?
GS: You created the DRAGON-CHUKS!
GG: profit
GS: >You attempt to sell your new weapon.
GS: >But no one has the money to buy them!
GS: >(or the strength to hold them!)
GG: threaten townsfolk with weapon if they don't buy it
GS: >They cannot! They do not have the money or possessions!
GG: well FUCK
GS: >You are made DEITY of the tiny town.
GG: go hunting with it i guess?
GS: >You become GODESS OF THE HUNT!
GG: okay awesome
GS: Y>You toss your DRAGON-CHUKS at a deer.
GS: >IT becomes DEER-CHUNKS.
GG: fuck yes
GS: >Your DRAGON-CHUKS are buried in the ground.
GS: >17 meters deep.
GG: retrieve them with RAGE
GS: >The deer is EVERYWHERE.
GS: >You RAGE the DRAGON-CHUKS back into your waiting palms.
GG: toss them at more animals
GS: >You also gather the CHUNKS OF VENISON.
GS: >You obliterate half the forest in this way.
GG: make a fucking festive banket with all the splattered animals in sight
GG: banquet
GG: idk i'm fucking sleep deprivet
GG: d*
GS: >You make a festive blanket out of CUTE WOODLAND CREATURES.
GG: actually i meant like
GG: ok hang on
GS: >SYSTEM: paused.
GG: yes banquet is the right word
GS: >SYSTEM: resumed.
GG: didn't mean blanket sorry
GS: >You convert your blanket into a BANQUET.
GG: sweet
GS: >You invite your FAITHFUL FOLLOWERS.
GS: >They spend a week cooking it all.
GS: >And then another week eating.
GS: >And a third week salting the leftovers.
GG: and that's how obesity was invented
GS: >GLUTTONY poped during the feast.
GS: *popped.
GS: >IT was a aboslutely preposterous amount of food.
GS: >Also leathers.
GG: leather coats for everyone
GG: and that's how fashion was invented
GS: >You could spend years sewing coats and still have leather!
GS: >So you make a massive tree-eating robot out of nothing but leather and RAGE.
GG: wood supply for generations
GG: sell wood at a reasonable price for townsfolk to sustain your dragon-slaying addiction
GS: >You begin to sell WOOD.
GS: >The townsfolk pay you all their money, and then some.
GS: >You now have several hundred INDEBTED WORSHIPPERS.
GG: invent banks and loans
GS: >You proceed to open FIRST WOOD BANK.
GS: >You loan several peasants even farther into poverty.
GS: >And they love you for it.
GS: >Or at least they say they do.
GG: ye olde recession of 1529
GG: blame it on god
GS: >Blame it on stupid HIGH DRAGONS.
GG: hahaha
GS: >A army marches on your taown!
GS: >Commence slaughter? Y/N
GG: nay
GS: >You forgo the slaughter.
GG: query army first
GS: >And opt for a Q&A session.
GS: >Ask a question.
GG: what's the square root of 2
GS: >ARMY: *pokes with spear*
GG: we would've accepted bows and arrows as well
GG: why are you here?
GS: >ARMY: Blood for the blood king! *cuts at with sword*
GG: your king is a faggot
GG: throw a dragon at them
GG: spare the messenger
GS: >ARMY: * is stunned, and then crushed*
GS: >The ARMY is reduced to CHUNKS.
GS: >You pocket the HUMAN CHUNKS.
GG: snack for later!
GS: >Maybe you can throw them at people.
GS: >A single man runs off to the west.
GG: "tell your king he's a faggot!"
GS: >SURVIVOR: "Ahhhhhhhhh!"
GS: >Suddenly, aliens.
GS: >A grey man with horns steppes out from the FLYING TORTISE-SHIP-THING.
GG: communicate through RAGE
GS: >HE annouces:
GS: "This world is now property of AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!"
GS: His head explodes.
GS: >RAGE communicated.
GG: nothing like a good dose of COMMUNICATION
GG: explore space turtle
GS: >You enter the SPACECRAFT.
GS: >Inside are twelve very shocked TROLLS.
GG: stare at trolls
GS: >You atare at the trolls.
GS: >One dies on the spot.
GS: >A poor yellow-blood.
GS: >The female purple-blood begins to cry.
GG: press buttons on space turtle until it starts moving
GS: >You press a random button.
GS: >Nachos appear from a small compartment.
GG: eat
GS: >The male purple-blood rages as you eat his nachos.
GS: >But his rage is insignificant.
GG: stare at him
GG: just a little bit
GS: >You stare at ERIDAN.
GS: >He cowers.
GS: >You now know everything about him.
GG: press more buttons
GS: >you press more buttons.
GS: >The SPACECRAFT lauches into orbit.
GS: >You can now access the MOON, MARS, and VENUS!
GG: go to beetelgeuse
GG: (beetelgeuse?)
GS: >You decide to RAGE your way to betelguse.
GG: (yeah just one E my bad)
GS: >You are now in BETELGUSE.
GS: >IT is hot inside BETELGUSE.
GS: >There is one planet in the system.
GG: land on it
GS: >You land on the planet and open the door, ignoring the cries of aphyxiating trolls.
GS: >There is no atmosphere her.
GS: *here.
GG: RAGE out an atmosphere
GS: You RAGE a atmosphere.
GS: >The trolls go very quiet.
GS: >Their sobs can be heard if you listen close.
GG: ignore trolls
GG: explore planet
GS: >You explore the PLANET.
GS: >It is entirely barren.
GS: >You RAGE up some fluffy critters to keep you company.
GG: name fluffy critters "assholites"
GS: >You name the fluffy critters "KARKATS", in memorial of the greatest asshole of them all.
GG: leave critters off to create a society of their own on the newly terraformed planet
GG: take a few onto the spaceship and jump off into orbit
GS: >The critters begin to start their own society!
GS: >You abduct a few samples and leave.
GG: look for other planets
GS: >You find a meteor you hadn't noticed before!
GS: >There is...
GS: >A KARKAT colony?
GS: >They advanced fast!
GG: dayum
GG: visit colony
GS: >You visit the COLONY.
GS: >The KARKATS bow down in worship of your RAGE.
GG: sign autographs
GS: >You sign some autographs.
GS: >It's like fucking christams up in this bitch.
GS: *christmas.
GG: check trolls' status
GS: >The trolls are all very sad and afraid.
GS: >Murder KARKAT with a KARKAT?
GS: Y/N
GG: RAGE out a stadium
GG: let them duke it out
GS: >You Place KARKAT and KARKAT in a stadium.
GS: >They prowl about eachother...
GS: >Karkat has a look in his eyes...
GS: >He leaps!
GS: >Furry!Karkat retaliates!
GS: >It uses CUTETECH 36: CUDDLE ME ELMO!
GG: munch on popcorn whilist watching
GS: >Karkat abjures!
GS: >you grab a bag of popcorn.
GS: >It is buttery and delicious.
GS: >Furry!Karkat uses CUTETECH 28: SUGARSUGARSUGAR!
GS: >Karkat enters a diabetic coma.
GS: >Karkat has died.
GS: >Furry!Karkat is successful!
GG: crown victorious furry karkat as king of meteor colony
GS: >You crown the victor TOTAL OVERLORD OF ALL THINGS UNDER HIS DOMAIN.
GS: >Which is to say, the meteor.
GS: >He offers to show you a strange FROG TEMPLE!
GG: investigate
GS: >Loading...
GS: >Loading complete.
GS: >You are in the FROG TEMPLE.
GS: >The GHOST OF FRIGGLISH is there.
GG: greet ghost
GG: "sup bro"
GS: >You greet the GHOST OF FRIGGLISH.
GS: >He Rages at you.
GS: >You abjure his ire!
GS: >Still not enough.
GG: offer ghost a CHILL PILL
GS: >You offer FRIGGLISH a CHILL PILL.
GS: >He continues to Rage.
GG: shrug off his attitude
GS: >You punt FRIGGLISH into space.
GS: >He Rages but it is not enough to push him back!
GS: >FRIGGLISH is gone.
GG: wave him goodbye
GS: >You wave good bye.
GS: >SYSTEM: Battery low.
GS: >SYSTEM: save game?
GG: definitely!
GG: i had a good time
GS: >Game saved.
GS: >Thanks for playing!
GG: by the way
GG: just gonna throw this out
GS: >_
GG: you wouldn't have this much batshit insane stuff with the usual jade roleplayer
GG: just something to consider
GS: >_<
GS: >Alright.
Poll
Author
Topic: MSPA Homestuck (Read 5219309 times)