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[Cheeetar]

I'm going to call John not being DAD, just so I can act superior later on.

See how I was right in the past amongst a big pile of me being wrong?

[Jackrabbit]

No. Where, where?

[Cheeetar]

John's not DAD.


Right?

[Dragooble]

You are correct sir.

[Jackrabbit]

Gosh, I don't see it. I guess I'm just going to have to not acknowledge that you were right, annoying you immensely as childish joke.

(hehehehehe)

[tehstefan]

I'm honestly not sure what just happened. Was that the grandpa? Cause it couldn't be john, he would remember. Right?

[Outcast Orange]

That is definitely Grandpa, and the girl is probably Nana.

[Soadreqm]

Those are Grampa and Nanna. You can tell from the hairstyles.

So. Nanna was adopted by Colonel Sassacre, whose wife was probably Betty Crocker, and then he was shot by Grampa, who was adopted by Sassacre's dog, who looks just like Becquerel, and gave Grampa his family name? Looks like Dad really is the only character not entangled in this weird time shit.

IDE/THEORY: Charles Barkley is a paradox clone.

[Duke 2.0]

 The presence of faces on the baby guardians makes me think something is up with them. The most sense I can make of them is that the children are having another "Writing on the walls" moment. The guardians do have all of their features, but they can't see them due to some mental state. The baby versions they don't see as their guardians, so their faces are visible.

[Retro]

Looks like Dad really is the only character not entangled in this weird time shit.

And yet, Sassacre's sprite/drawing is based off of Dad's. I'm going to have to assume that Dad is involved somehow as well.

What I'm getting from this is that basically every single character in Homestuck is a paradox creation of either Sassacre and Hailley (and possibly Mz Crocker) or another paradox cloneperson.

[Soadreqm]

Maybe he's a failed paradox clone of Sassacre? Bleh, I would really like it if we had at least one character who was actually born rather than created with a mysterious Skaian machine.

[Dragooble]

So This update in a nutshell.
Colonel Sassacre=Mark Twain=Nanas guardian. He was killed by dual flintlock wielding baby grandpa Harley, who rode in on Halley's comet. Not the dogs comet by the way, that's just the name of a comet. Later grandpa steals Halley away somewhere on an adventure, and i'm going to assume that halley transforms into Bec via weird time shenanigans.

[tehstefan]

Considering everything involves weird time shenanigans in homestuck, that's a pretty safe bet. But hey. Mark Twain died in a manner only mark twain could die like!

[Outcast Orange]

Are there any more mysteries left in Homestuck?

What ends haven't been tied?

[Dragooble]

I've put off doing a reread to find out.