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[Armok]

> bite obstacle in third toe, left foot!

[Phantom]

> bite obstacle in third toe, left foot!

And then eat its Braiiinss head.

[Dr. Johbson]

Distract the farmer with one of your extremely witty jokes, then hop into the wagon and help yourself to the booze!

[Dakk]

Light the grass near him on fire, wait till he bleeds to death, grab booze.

[zchris13]

Distract the farmer with one of your extremely witty jokes, then hop into the wagon and help yourself to the booze!

We are sober. We don't have any of those, or it would fail miserably.

"BOOOOOOZZZZE"

[CJ1145]

Say "Ironblood, cat, goblins and crumpets in magma."

While the dwarf is dying from laughter at the single greatest joke in dwarf history, take some booze from the wagon.

[BigFatDwarf]

Kick the dwarf in the groin. In the resulting chaos, nick one barrel off of the wagon, take off your thongs, light them up and throw them in the wagon amidst the other barrels. Boozebomb!

[ousire]

Kick the dwarf in the groin. In the resulting chaos, nick one barrel off of the wagon, take off your thongs, light them up and throw them in the wagon amidst the other barrels. Boozebomb!

this.

[LegoLord]

Destroy precious booze that could cure our sobriety later on? Nah, steal it all and light the caravan.

[BigFatDwarf]

Destroy precious booze that could cure our sobriety later on? Nah, steal it all and light the caravan.

No boozebomb?

[PandaLord]

I was just thinking about how awesome a Dwarf Fortress themed MSPaint Adventure would be, and lo, I find one!

Say that you are, indeed, the volunteer miner they have been waiting for, and agree to do whatever tasks the caravan has in store for a volunteer miner in exchange for some of that delicious booze. Strike the earth!

EDIT: I'm curious, but how do you determine which action to take? Do you just randomly choose one of the posts, and do what it says? Or do you choose the most (or least) reasonable one?

[Cajoes]

I was just thinking about how awesome a Dwarf Fortress themed MSPaint Adventure would be, and lo, I find one!

Say that you are, indeed, the volunteer miner they have been waiting for, and agree to do whatever tasks the caravan has in store for a volunteer miner in exchange for some of that delicious booze. Strike the earth!

EDIT: I'm curious, but how do you determine which action to take? Do you just randomly choose one of the posts, and do what it says? Or do you choose the most (or least) reasonable one?

Sorry for not updating, been sick with worry over more personal matters recently.

I generally pick the ones that don't directly will lead to the story coming to a abrupt end... :3
... ... Tempted to ignore that for the sake of humour of course. I mean, there is a save feature, apparently.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Bewildered at the cheerful response to your hostile stance, you change your tune to try to persuade this fine gentledorf to sample his wares. You start off using your dorfen wit.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Booze."

"Booze who?"

"Booze me! I'm parched!"

This leads to guffaws and frivolities all around. Maybe you won't have to bury your pickaxe in his brain after all.

After some idle conversation, you manage to convince the farmer dorf that you indeed are a miner. Gently avoiding the issue on who assigned you to this particular caravan.

At one point you feel the urge to lash out and attack the dorf. But in your sobered state. You have little option but to act reasonable and seek nonviolent means of obtaining what you want. Eugh. Stupid linear gameplay.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sufficently convinced by your grey apparel and your mighty fine copper pick, the farmer waddles off to console the cow who was frightened by your previous hostile stance. Leaving you to guard the precious caravan supplies.

You swear to stand firm and let no dorf or kobold of ill intent fondle this precious cargo.

Yeah, that'll happen...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You crack open a barrel with your stunty fists and dive head first into one, chugging beer in traditional dorfen mannerism. Your alcohol system is more than replenished and will last for quite some time. The artist sighs in relief. You don't expect soberity to become a issue anytime soon.

* Urist McFuckup has been sober lately. *
* Urist McFuckup had a wonderful drink lately. *

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

With refreshed stats, you ponder what you just signed up to. A cursory examination of the wagons insides reveal little in trade goods. However it is well prepared for a founding expedition. You fear you've gotten involved with one of those doomed dorfen expeditions to settle new mountainhomes.

Considering the Tax Collector is after your hide. And your recent vandalism and theft of fortress property. You sense that this might be the better option for your continued survival.

You can not help but ponder what hellish place you will end up in however.

Where should our nameless hero end up? Generic mountain site? Glowing hot desert? Frozen horrifying tundra? Maybe even a swamp with a six tile thick aquifier. (No, we're not really equipped to go into space.. It's a freakin' wooden cart. Dragged by a cow.) Feel free to suggest some suitably resource rich or just absurd location to settle. I'll wait. :3

[Armok]

I suggest a frozen frozen sinister tundra called The Thousand Needles of Eternal Torture, by the sea The Pregnant Sea Of Zombie Wales, whit the glacier The Looming Terror starting in the adjutant worldmap tile,a and a kobold cave that guards the magma.

[Asheron]

Settle in the human city of Milksugars.

[LegoLord]

A goblin tower with a chasm full of GCS in a freezing mountain next to a cold forest, a magma pipe, and underground river.  Then the light blue pound sign of the "other features" search option under the tower the Goblin Leader (demon) lives in.