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[Cajoes]

Lacking anything better to do...

Edit: Since this became more popular than expected, I'm expanding this bit.

Dorfquest. Enter the head of a nameless Dorf (As to avoid conflict with vertically disabled and the Tolkien estate. (Not to mention WotC)), and tug the strings that makes him tick. Polish walls, carve a mug, pull every lever you come across. As long as it's reasonably logical humorous or Dorfen to do.

Contains strong language and possibly violent scenes in the future. Reader discretion is advised.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You are a dorf. Your name eludes you for the time being due to a certain lack of booze in your alcohol system.

The rough rock apartment appears to be severely lacking in anything liquid or solid to rectify this conundrum. You have a nagging suspicion you are in fact slowly becoming sober.

While the cheap cavern is lacking in a lot of things (colour for example) it does however sport a -rock coffer- by one wall and a =rock door= leading to the rest of the fortress. A cave spider appears to have taken up residence with you. You don't quite recall wether you detest or cherish the creatures. Due to the previously mentioned shortage of alcohol.

What next?

Addendum: Well buggeration, apparently DorfQuest is also a text adventure from 4chan... I really should check these things before embarking on whimsical forum nonsense.

[ousire]

hmm

open the -rock coffer- and see whats inside

[Cajoes]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

... You scratch your beard as you suddenly feel compelled to open your coffer.

'lo and behold. Inside there is a singular undyed pig tail sock. And a green glass bottle. The engraving on the bottle in green glass indicate it contains Dorfen Beer. Your keen dorf senses focus around the bottle, and you manage to discern the coffer is in fact made out of orthoclase

Man, painting in MSpaint is harder than it looks.

[Jack_Bread]

Grab beer and check if it's full.
If so, CHUG THAT BITCH!
If not, find magma.

[Enzo]

PUT SOCK ON HEAD.

And then move this to forum games.  Actually, screw that. It's crowded in there anyway.

[ousire]

equip sock. then procede to chug every last sip of that beer!

[Cajoes]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Priorities: You bother not to check the bottle for contents. And take a hearty chug of that amber goodness. Refilling your Alcohol Gauge. Colours and sound start to seep back into your dulled sobered dorf senses. The anxiety of existance dulled under a quarter of a gallon of fine dorfen brew. How dorfkind could survive without precious booze, you don't know.

Clutchlessly shifting to photoshop...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Of course, sobrerity might have been the better option in your case. Man, your room looks like shit.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Luckily, you have enough dorfen knowhow to solve that simple problem.You toss the empty beer bottle, close your empty Orthoclase coffer, equip your pig tail sock headwards and pull tightly.

Much better!

Edit: I'm not sure this qualifies as a game. It's more of a reader driven story, no?

Also. It's a lot more fun than I thought it'd be.

[Aqizzar]

Eat the cave spider.

Don't feel bad, the MSPaint Adventure guy said the first picture was the only one he didn't do in Photoshop.

[Cajoes]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You fumble around in the dark comfort of your pig tail sock hat. Wondering where you spotted that cave spider earlier. You are feeling a little peckish.

You hear a tinkle of glass as your naked foot bump into something.

edit: Well that makes me feel a bit better. Art will of course improve over time as I get used to drawing with the mouse.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Feeling that you'd rather not break something important by slipping on a +green glass bottle+, or even stepping in green glass shards. You opt to put the sock on your naked foot instead. And gain a bonus to your perception.

The cave spider seems to object to your intentions and have retreated ceilingwards. Vertical advantage have foiled you yet again. Bloody vermin.

You can't put your stubby finger on it. But something feels different about your low-rent room. 

[Dragooble]

open door.

[Cajoes]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Locked. Why the heck is your fine bauxite door locked?

Just for once you wish that this shit fortress wasn't such a hazzle.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's strange. The bauxite door is warm... What could be causing that?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The absurd camera spins around to face our stunted protagonist. Revealing that the room in fact has other stuff in it. - You wonder why you did not notice that stuff before when you WERE facing them. You admire your bauxite door for a while.

[Enzo]

But...the audience can never be aware of the fourth wall!

...

Investigate the gray thing. What is that, a dwarven hat-rack?

[ousire]

investigate the grey thing

[Armok]

in this case, "investigate" means "pull".

[Dakk]

Look under bed, wherever i lose something, it usualy ends up under me bed.